Of ends and beginnings
by viv-heart
Summary: Dramione, EWE Wars change people. They take so much away and sometimes you break. You can't take it anymore. You are done. You decide to take the last way out. But you meet somebody who feels the same. No character death, dark humor, a lot of swearing. completed
1. Chapter 1

**AN: I started writing this yesterday night on a whim. I have no idea where this came from and I am not sure if I am going to continue this. I'M GOING TO DECIDE IF THERE WILL BE MORE CHAPTERS BASED ON THE FEEDBACK/ RESPONSE TO THIS CHAPTER. Meaning if you want more, tell me. BUT DON'T DEMAND UPDATES! I NEED TO KNOW WHAT YOU LIKED BECAUSE I HAVE NO IDEA HOW THIS WOULD CONTINUE. Concrit is welcome.**

 **Thanks to Nantai for betaing.**

It was raining but Hermione couldn't care less. She walked swiftly, her eyes on the pavement. Even though she had pulled her hood over her hair the wind blew her wet locks into her face. But it seemed Hermione didn't notice – or care. She simply walked straight ahead, not even stopping at a red light and ignoring the angry honks from an angry driver who almost ran her over. She simply walked through the rainy London night.

She didn't stop until she reached her final destination. Hermione stood in the middle of a tall bridge and stepped closer to the railing. She looked over the Thames and than up at the ancient lamp next to her and a small smile appeared on her face. She put a hand on the cold metal and froze.

Opposite her, there was a hooded figure mimicking her pose. A strong blow of the wind and the stranger's hood was blown away even before they caught himself.

"Malfoy?" Hermione whispered as she recognized the young man in front of her.

"Granger?" he echoed her question, before catching himself. "What the hell are you doing here?" he barked.

"Not that it's any of your business, but I was talking a walk," Hermione replied coldly. "What are you doing here?"

"I am taking a walk as well. And I would truly appreciate it if you continued your walk and got lost," Draco sneered.

"Oh, really? Why don't you continue your walk?" Hermione crossed her arms over her chest. "I was here first."

"No you weren't!"  
"I was! And as you are talking a walk you have no reason to stay here!"

"Neither do you!"

With that, both fell silent for several minutes, staring each other down, neither willing to walk away.

"Why are you really here?" Draco asked finally.

"As I said, I am taking a walk," Hermione didn't bulge, causing him to roll his eyes.

"Yeah, sure. Not only it's the middle of the night but it's been pouring for days and you don't even have an umbrella. Doesn't sound like taking a regular walk to me," Draco grinned.

"You are aware that the same things apply to you, Malfoy?" Hermione mimicked his grin. "So either you tell me first or fuck off."

Draco's face fell. "For fucks sake, Granger! Am I asking too much if I want you to fucking walk away and look for another stupid lamp post?! Could you do what I need you to do for once?!" he cried out.

"Why the fuck don't YOU look for another lamp post?! I am staying here!" Hermione yelled back.

"Of course! Miss perfect has to always get her way and can't even let a man die in peace!" Draco was practically hysterical at that point and tears sprung from Hermione's eyes when she tried to shout over him. "Miss perfect?! Miss perfect?! Do you think I would be standing here with the intention to jump because I am Miss perfect?!"

As soon as they realized what the other had said, they fell silent again, staring at each other as if they hadn't met before.

"What did you say?" this time it was Hermione who broke the silence.

"I am here to die," Draco whispered. "As are you."  
Hermione nodded, her eyes not leaving his.

"Why?" he asked.

Hermione shook her head and shrugged, as the tears flowed down her face. It was overwhelming to be looking in the face of somebody who had the same intentions she did. It didn't change the fact that she wanted to jump, but she felt sad. Sad for him.

Draco sighed when he realized that Hermione wasn't going to answer and ran a hand through his wet hair. "You know, you aren't making it easy for us both. Therefore while you are still frozen in shock, I am going to take the liberty and jump first. Please don't stop me," Draco said and put up a foot on the railing while steadying himself against the lamp. He was about to push himself upwards to stand on the railing when Hermione's hand closed around his wrist.

"Wait," she said, her voice steady.

"Why?" Draco asked. "Do you want to go first? Or together? We could make them speculate about our passionate affair," he said seriously. It was very morbid but he thought it was a good idea. Getting out with a laugh at the stupid society that caused him to stand there in the first place.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "If we were to do that, we would need to move. After all, our bodies won't be found here. And as I am pretty sure that's the reason we are both here and not on another random bridge, it sounds more like a weak attempt to get me away. But that's not why I stopped you."  
"Than why did you?" Draco asked, sincerely curious. "Do you want to stop me from jumping altogether? I am sorry to tell you this, but that would be really pathetic, Granger. And totally unbelievable."

"As if," Hermione snorted. "If you want to kill yourself, go ahead. I won't be stopping you. I was just curious why you want to do it."  
Draco let out a low laugh. "You don't want to tell me why you want to jump but expect me to tell you?"

Hermione nodded earnestly and Draco sighed again.

"You know what?" he asked. "Why the hell not?"

Draco leaned against the railing and took a deep breath before looking over at Hermione who leaned back as well, realizing that this wouldn't be a short affair.

"In contrary to what you think, I had loving parents and a generally very happy childhood. Sure, I was taught some very crappy things but in a quite different matter than you imagine. While I was taught to act like a supremacist, my parents told me to never ever follow an ideology. They said it made you vulnerable. I didn't understand that until Tommy came back. Hey, don't look at me like that Granger! Calling him Voldemort shows him respect but he hated being connected to his muggle father. Tommy is the most insulting thing you can call him!" Draco muttered.

"You can't be serious!" Hermione exclaimed.

"I am! And now shut up. I am telling you something, aren't I?" Draco glared at her and continued only when it was clear Hermione wasn't going to protest. "Anyway, as you know he came back at the end of our 4th year and moved in into the Manor. And no, it wasn't my father's idea. Voldemort simply appeared and announced that Bellatrix volunteered us and he would stay. My parents' couldn't complain as a single word would have meant the immediate death for all of us. And like that, I lived under the same roof with that maniac for three years. Sure, I was mostly at Hogwarts at that time but I felt like he was breathing down my neck all the time. It got even worse when father went to Azkaban and I got that task," Draco fell silent for a moment. "My suicidal thoughts started back then. I used to hope that a stray curse would hit me and I would die. I wasn't going to provoke Tommy into killing me though as I wanted to protect my parents. After the war and all the death I've decided on living as it was a miracle that I survived."  
"What changed?" Hermione asked, aware that it wasn't the end of the story.

"Nothing," Draco whispered. "That's the fucking problem. I still feel like shit. I still have nightmares. I still expect him around every corner. I am tired of living, Granger. Tired."

Hermione started laughing hysterically, causing Draco to look at her again. "What he hell is so funny?" he barked.

"This," she gestured between them as she wished a tear from her cheek. "I feel the same. I am tired, Malfoy, so tired. You have described what I felt from the other side. I am pretty sure there are enough things you aren't ready to admit and that this was just the top of the iceberg but I know. Malfoy, I freaking know how you feel and it's crazy!"  
Draco stared at her before he started laughing as well. "What the hell is this? My biggest rival and I are feeling the same? And it isn't hatred against each other? What's wrong with this world?"

"Everything. Everything is wrong and that's why this is so hilarious!" Hermione laughed at him.

"Are you high?" Draco asked suddenly. "Because you seriously sound like you are."

Hermione shook her head, still grinning."I am just done with everything. It's quite liberating."  
"It is," Draco agreed and let himself slide so he would sit down on the wet pavement. "Nothing matters anymore and I quite like it."  
Hermione agreed and sat down as well. "You know, now that we talked we really should jump together. It would be weird to let the other watch."  
Draco smiled at that. "I though it would be hilarious if the Prophet got wind of it. Everybody would go crazy."  
"Because of the assumptions?" Hermione asked and an evil grin spread over her face. "Maybe we should really go to another bridge. One they'll find us at."  
Draco contemplated that for a moment before he shook his head. "No, it has to be this bridge," he said.

"Why?" Hermione looked at him curiously. "Not that I complain, you know. It's just that it was your idea."  
"I don't want my parents to know that I died. I hope they'll think I ran off with some pretty girl or boy, whatever, and am somewhere in Brazil or something," Draco confessed.

Hermione nodded in understanding. "You know, I don't have to worry about that. My parents don't know who I am. I've altered their memories before the war and send them to Australia."  
Draco patted her arm sympathetically. "What about Weasley?" he asked.

Hermione shrugged. "We broke up over a year ago. He took me for granted and I was sick of his bullshit. How about you? Anybody besides your parents who is going to miss you? And don't pretend that you aren't aware that people will actually miss you."

"I am aware of that, thank you very much!" Draco retorted. "And not really. Sure, some friends like Zabini from our year will be surprised I am gone but that's all. But won't Potter miss you?"  
"He has Ginny and Ron. And his job keeps him occupied. He'll be over it quickly. He always was when something was wrong with me. But wo-?"  
"Stop," Draco interrupted Hermione before she could finish her question. "We are certainly not going to list people who would miss us!"  
"Does it make you waver?" Hermione grinned at him cheekily.

"NO!" Draco retorted. "But it's wrong!"  
"I thought we established that nothing matters anymore and therefore your argument is invalid!" Hermione teased before she sneezed.

"Are you cold?" Draco asked, realizing that his fingers were numb.

Hermione shook her head but sneezed again and started looking through her pockets for a tissue.

Draco handed her one as he realized that she couldn't find any. He couldn't blame her. If everything went according to plan she wouldn't be needing them by now.

"You know, we should jump," Hermione said after a while. "I am getting really cold and it's quite uncomfortable."  
Draco nodded and stood up before offering her a hand.

"Thanks," she smiled at him as she took it. "Are you going to climb first or should I?"

"Ladies first," Draco offered and helped her on the railing. He was about to join her when a shout caught their attention.

"Stop!" a man was running towards them. Draco didn't hesitate and pushed himself onto the railing, careful to not push Hermione over. They wanted to jump and not fall, after all. They wanted to be in control in their last moments.

Hermione ignored the approaching man, not caring who it was, and took Draco's hand again.  
"One, two, three," they counted together but didn't jump. They couldn't. Their feet were stuck at the railing.

"What the fuck?" Draco barked with annoyance, looking back at the approaching man and than at Hermione again.

There was panic written all over her face. "If he catches us we'll be admitted into a mental asylum. I can't have that!" she cried out. "We have to get away!"  
"How?" Draco asked in an equally panicked voice. He really didn't want to end up in a muggle mental asylum.

"I don't know! I don't know!" Hermione chanted as the man came closer and closer.

"Will apparation work?" Draco asked.

"I don't know! But even if we splinch ourselves it doesn't matter. We want to die, right?" She looked at Draco with wide eyes, but he had already pulled her closer and closed his eyes. Moments after, they were standing in a dark but dry room.

"We didn't splinch?" Hermione asked in awe as she stepped back from Draco and looked at her legs and arms, all still pretty much where they belonged.

"We didn't," Draco confirmed, looking down at the puddle that was forming at their feet in disgust. "We are ruining my carpet though," he said dryly.

Hermione shot him a disbelieving look. "We are ruining your carpet? That's what bothers you most right now? Seriously we could have been dead right now! Bleeding on your precious carpet! Hell, we wanted to be dead!"

Draco laughed at that. "Right, we wanted it but we are still alive. I am quite amazed about that."  
"Me too," Hermione confessed. "And really pissed."

"Yeah, that too," Draco agreed. "Do you want a drink?"  
Hermione who was pretty cold agreed and Draco went to get the bottle of Firewhiskey from the kitchen. In the time it took him to return with the bottle and two glasses Hermione had tried about every drying charm she knew and had started stripping.

"I am sorry, the glasses were in the back-" Draco stopped mid-sentence. "What the fuck are you doing Granger?"

"I am getting rid of drenched cold clothes," Hermione replied calmly and pulled one of Draco's jumpers over her head. "I would recommend you to change as well. A wet suit can't be comfortable. Who the hell wants to kill themselves in a suit anyway?"  
"Still better than dying in your pyjamas, Granger," he motioned at the pile of wet clothes before he started changing his clothes as well. Obviously Hermione had decided that nothing mattered anymore and they could do whatever they wanted.

"What are you going to do now?" Hermione asked from where she sat at the floor after she took a swift directly from the bottle.

Draco sat down opposite her and drank as well before answering her. "I have no idea. I am too pissed to really kill myself now. But that can change by tomorrow. You?"  
"Same," Hermione shrugged and took the bottle from Draco's hand. "I really feel like revenge would be appropriate but it's not really worth it."

"You know, maybe we should talk about this tomorrow. I feel like jumping together would be nicer," Hermione added after a while.

"It is already tomorrow," Draco replied and Hermione threw a pillow she took from the bed behind her at him.

"You know what I meant!" she said.

"Why is this so normal?" Draco asked. "Why does it seem like nothing happened? Or like too much happened? Like everything is different?"

Hermione looked at him for a long moment. "You were at the bridge because no bodies are found when people jump from there, right?"

Draco nodded.

"What is the wizard explanation for that?" Hermione asked hastily. "The muggles say it's because of the stream but even then they would have to appear somewhere."  
"None, really. Some old magic. What are you hinting at?" Draco took another swift from the bottle, bracing himself for the explanation.

"What if there are no bodies because nobody jumps? What if that's the magic of that place?" Hemione looked at him with wide eyes as she leaned closer. Draco hold his breath, not knowing what would happen or what he wanted to happen. That stupid crush from school was emerging again and Hermione was still leaning towards him.

"That we can't jump," Hermione grinned as she took the bottle from his hand and leaned back. "We have to find a way to get rid of that curse before we can kill ourselves."

Draco started laughing manically.


	2. Chapter 2

**1\. Thanks to Nantai for betaing**

 **2\. Thank you once again to those who reviewed 3**

 **3\. I decided to continue despite the feedback being rather lacking. Thanks for the kudos but I am one of the writers who would kill for comments. So be nice and give me some. I would really appreciate it as they keep me writing.**

Hermione woke up in a sea of pillows and blankets, her head hurting. She yawned and slowly opened her eyes. Luckily, the room was still rather dark with the curtains drawn shut. She sat up slowly, looking around for an explanation of where she was.

The first thing she saw were two bottles of Firewhiskey not too far from her. One was empty, the other half-full but that explained the headache. The second was another pile of blankets and pillows opposite her. The platinum blonde hair peeping out from under one of the blankets giving the rest away.

Hermione laughed. Hard. Until a pillow hit her in the face.

"Hey!" she complained, "no need to get violent so early in the morning!"

Draco, who was still lying in the pile and only had one eye open grimaced. "You woke me. Violence is completely justified."

Hermione rolled her eyes but fell back down onto her pile of pillows. "How do you feel?" she asked.

"Like a herd of hippogriffs ran me over," Draco muttered. "But that was to be expected."

"That's not what I meant," Hermione said.

"You know, with your mask of perfection on, I am not going to talk to you about this stuff. Especially not in this condition," Draco rolled on his back, covering his eyes with his arm to shield them from what little sunshine managed to get past the curtains. "Could you please get the hangover-potion from the bathroom? It's in the mirror."

Hermione wanted to protest but a single glance at Draco told her that she would get rid of her hangover much quicker if she didn't argue. He really didn't look like he could get up without vomiting and arguing would just make them both suffer longer.

She stood up carefully and stepped over Draco who was lying in front of the door. Only when she walked out to the hallway did she realize he hadn't told her where the bathroom was. Luckily, they weren't at the manor and therefore there was only a limited number of doors. Hermione opened the first one just to find a walk-through closet. She should have expected that. Next to it was a study and then the kitchen.

Hermione tried the doors on the other side. A living room and finally the bathroom. She walked to the mirror hanging over the sink and opened it. Hermione rose an eyebrow when she saw what it contained. A number of potion ingredients and vials with actual potions were lined next to muggle medicine. Most of the stuff wasn't labelled but Hermione recognized it anyway: pain-killers both muggle and wizard were there along with sleeping pills and anti-depressants, all of them mixed among the average first-aid stuff. It was clear that Draco hoped that whoever looked through his things wouldn't realize immediately what he was looking at.

Hermione took two vials of the hangover-potion as soon as she spotted it in the mess and closed the mirror again. She walked back to Draco's bedroom and offered him one. He took it gratefully and they both drowned the contents immediately.

Hermione sat down back on her sea of pillows. "What now?" she asked.

Draco sat up finally as well and ran a hand through his hair. "I wish I knew. Why are you even asking me this? You are going to do what you want anyway."

"Just asking your opinion, getting some ideas," Hermione shrugged nonchalantly.

Draco rolled his eyes. It looked like they were both doing it quite a lot in the others presence. "I want to know if there truly is magic preventing us from taking our lives. It would be stupid to look for a way to get rid of it if it wasn't real in the first place."

"Same time same place as yesterday?" Hermione offered and Draco nodded. She then stood up and gathered her now dry clothes. As everything was said, there was no use in sticking around. Hermione bid Draco goodbye and apparated to her own flat.

Hermione dropped the clothes to the floor and walked straight to her bed. She fell face-first onto it and pulled a blanket over herself. Only then she realized that she had let her shoes at Draco's. But once again she didn't care. Why should she anyway? Maybe they would think they ran off together if they succeeded in jumping this time. She snorted. That would be quite funny.

Hermione went over the events of the previous night in her head but fell asleep somewhere along the way.

She woke up several hours later to an owl tapping on her window. Hermione sighed and threw the covers away, She stood up and walked to the window, letting the owl in.

She took the letter and offered the animal a treat. The owl took it and flew away immediately. Hermione closed the window and opened the letter, skimming it's content. It was her boss asking for help even though she was on vacation. She let it fall on the floor carelessly when she finished reading, not feeling like dealing with it right away. She could deal with it tomorrow. Or never. Both were better than right away. Especially as her boss was an ungrateful ass.

Hermione was about to take a shower when her doorbell rang. She sighed. It seemed the universe hated her today.

She walked to the door and opened it without checking who it was. She cursed herself immediately when she saw Ron.

"Hey," she greeted him but he only stared at her clothes.

"You have a new boyfriend, do you?" he asked instead of greeting her back.

Hermione looked down at herself in surprise. She hadn't changed since she borrowed Malfoy's clothes the previous night. She cursed herself again. And Malfoy. And his stupid hangover-potion. It seemed it didn't work the way it should. She was still slower than usually. She would have to teach him to brew a proper one if there truly was magic at work.

"I just bought new pyjamas," Hermione lied. "But I doubt you came here to question me about my wardrobe."

"You are still in your sleeping clothes?" Ron stared at her in shock.

"Obviously," Hermione shrugged. "What do you want?"

"Well, you are on vacation. I was wondering if we could spend any time together," Ron smiled at her.

Hermione's eyes narrowed. "I am surprised you are asking me yourself. Usually you send Harry and make him set the place and time."

Ron looked down. "I wanted to meet without Harry there," he said.

Hermione rose an eyebrow. Since their breakup, they hadn't met without Harry. He had been always there as a shield for both of them, making sure they were working to rebuild their friendship for the sake of all the Weasleys and their common friends. It wasn't going too well, making Ron's request quite unexpected.

"Why?" Hermione asked finally.

Ron was looking anywhere but at her. "You know, we've tried being friends and it obviously does not work. Not back in Hogwarts and not now. So I was thinking we could try it again?" he asked hopefully.

Hermione felt like screaming. But she didn't. Instead, she simply said "No."

"But why?" Ron questioned.

"Because that works even less," Hermione replied coldly. "And I would appreciate it if you didn't ask again. We can still meet as friends, but that's all."

Ron scowled. "So you do have a new boyfriend."

"I don't. And I don't see why it would be any of your business if I did," Hermione stared him down.

"It is my business! We are supposed to be together!" Ron said, looking in Hermione's eyes for once.

"Who gets to decide that?" Hermione asked.

"Everybody expects us to be together!" Ron wasn't listening to her and Hermione grew angrier with every second.

"No! That's what the Prophet and your mother want and expect! Nobody else cares. So grow the fuck up, Ronald and use your brain. We didn't work out because we don't fit. You know that as much as I do so grow some balls and face your mother!" with that, Hermione slammed her door shut in front of his nose.

She was still angry when she met up with Draco hours later.

"What's gotten to you?" he asked as soon as he saw her expression.

"Ronald," she replied shortly.

"Want to talk about it?" Draco offered, quite curious about what had happened.

"No. Just let's get this over with. If it doesn't work, I can still tell you later when I am drunk," Hermione said and started climbing on the railing.

Draco snorted when he heard how sure she was they were getting drunk again if this failed but helped her up. He followed suit shortly and took her hand.

"Your hangover potion is shit," Hermione informed him before she started counting.

Draco shot her a confused look but prepared himself to jump anyway. At three, they bend their knees and willed their feet to leave the railing but they were stuck. Again.

"Fuck this," Draco muttered and climbed down on the bridge. Of course that that was possible. Hermione jumped down next to him. "That's ridiculous," she muttered. "Let's try another place," she suggested.

They walked in silence through the night. Luckily, it wasn't raining for once. They reached another bridge and walked to the middle of it. Once again, Draco helped Hermione up and then climbed up himself.

They counted to three together and jumped. A smile spread over Hermione's face. Until she felt a soft something press against her and push her back on the pavement.

"What the fuck was that?" Draco, who had landed next to her, looked at her in confusion, her hand still in his.

She pulled away and ran both hands through her hair. "Felt like a cushion," she responded. "Proving our theory. I fear that every time we try something there will be another ridiculous barrier preventing us from going through with it."

Draco looked at her, and started laughing loudly. "We are seriously pissed that something or somebody is preventing us from killing ourselves," he explained as he saw Hermione's confused glare.

"As much as I enjoyed laughing hysterically yesterday, I don't feel up to it today," Hermione muttered and started walking away.

Draco ran after her and pulled her at her upper arm to make her stop. "Where are you going?" he asked.

"Walking. Need to get the pent up energy out or I'll burst," Hermione said.

"Tell me," Draco demanded, falling into step next to Hermione.

"Why do you care?" Hermione asked.

"I don't. But it's a perfect opportunity to make fun of the Weasel and I rarely pass on these," he grinned and nudged Hermione's shoulder.

She shot him a glare but started talking anyway.

"I believe you know most about the stuff that happened at Hogwarts. Lavender, Krum, the jealousy and mind games," Hermione sighed.

Draco nodded in confirmation. He had been watching them closely. At the beginning because of Potter and later because of her. But he wasn't going to tell her that. Especially since he was long over that stupid little crush.

"Anyway, we have spent our seventh year hunting horcruxes with Harry, living in a small tent all three of us – constantly on the run. If I'm not wrong that's common public knowledge. What most don't know is that Ron abandoned us back then."

At that, Draco looked at her in surprise, but refrained from commenting. He hadn't known that. He wondered how much else he didn't know.

"Eventually he came back and we all pretended it was fine. Mostly we all were glad that the others were alive. Then the battle came and the kiss. Everybody thought we were dating so we started. Why not? We had had feelings for each other for a few years so it seemed right. But it wasn't. There was so much unsaid between us and while Ron thought we would last forever no matter what happened I grew bored. He didn't try in the relationship and told me that I didn't need to do much, he would support the both of us. I should rest," Hermione said in distaste and Draco snorted. That was the most stupid thing anybody could have said to her.

"Like I wanted to be a stay-at-home mother. Sure, a child or two would have been nice but I would die of boredom! I told him that but he thought I was crazy. That it was what every woman wanted. So I left him. He didn't care what I wanted and didn't try. I was bored and annoyed and bitter. Walking out seemed right."

"But he doesn't think so?" Draco asked carefully when Hermione stopped talking

She sighed. "Deep down he does. Too bad that he listens to the Prophet and his mother more than to his heart. I mean, his mother treated me like shit when she thought I was dating Harry because of the Prophet! Can you believe that?!"

"I have to say that I am not very surprised," Draco shrugged. "We think what we think about the Weasleys for a reason."

"Oh no!" Hermione stopped and turned around, pointing a finger at him. "Don't dare to insult the other Weasleys! They've been nothing but nice to me! It would be like judging your family by Bellatrix!"

Draco laughed. "Wow, that was a sick burn. Comparing Mrs. Weasley to aunt Bella. You should try telling her that face-to-face! I would kill to see her expression."

Hermione smiled at that. "Maybe you should tell her that yourself."

"Maybe I will when the opportunity arises," Draco winked at her and they started walking again.

"Anyway, Harry did his best to save the friendship and we have been in contact, usually meeting in a group. But today he came to my flat and demanded a date. He said we were supposed to be together," Hermione spat. "Like I ever believed in a god, fate or anything similiarly stupid."

Draco snickered at that and patted her on her back sympathetically. "He truly is an idiot. Even I knew that. Seems like the only thing he knows about you is how to push your buttons."

"Indeed," Hermione scowled. "But where is the promised fun?" she demanded.

Draco offered her his arm at that and they apparated to his flat again. He hadn't bothered to put the pillows and blankets away Hermione noted.

"I'll get the drinks," Draco said and Hermione let herself fall onto the pillows.

"Why do you even have so many of them?" Hermione asked as she motioned to the two huge piles.

Draco shrugged. "I like it comfortable. But what did you mean when you told me my hangover potion is shit?"

"Exactly what I said," Hermione replied as she snatched the bottle of Firewhiskey from Draco's hands. "It doesn't work as efficiently as it should."

"And yet you are drinking again," Draco teased and took the bottle back.

Hermione shrugged. "But we should talk about what happens next."

"We find a solution to this curse and get drunk every night until then?" Draco suggested and took a demonstratively large swift from the bottle.

Hermione shot him an unimpressed look and took an even larger gulp. "That's how it's done," she said.

Draco rolled his eyes again and a pillow collided with his face.

"Don't roll your eyes on me!" Hermione scolded him playfully.

Draco rolled his eyes again but this time managed to catch the pillow before it collided with his face.

"This is so weird," he said once again and let himself fall on his back.

"Tell me about it," Hermione muttered. "But we do have a better chance at getting rid of the problem if we work together."

"Yeah, and it's more fun being bitter if somebody is there to appreciate your remarks," Draco added.

This time, Hermione rolled her eyes and was hit by a pillow.

She shrieked in surprise and Draco started laughing. Hermione threw another pillow against him.

"Hey! That's against the rules!" Draco complained.

"Too bad that there are no rules and even if they were nothing matters," Hermione replied cheekily and threw another pillow at him for good measurement.

"You really are different than I expected," Draco said, harbouring all the pillows he could under him.

Hermione looked at him in question while she drank.

"You are funny. And mean. Like really mean," Draco explained.

"What did you expect?" Hermione asked in interest.

"Definitely not getting smashed and random violence," Draco grinned at her.

"Throwing pillows isn't considered violence!" Hermione defended herself.

"Too bad that doesn't matter," Draco replied in his most serious voice and they both started laughing again.

 **Seriously leave some feedback please. and yes I am desparate. my exams are kiling me and I make it worse by writing fanfiction.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Look! Another chapter! And so fast! (I am writing when I take a break from studying and it works quite well)**

 **First of all, huge thanks to Nantai for betaing**

 **Other than that:**

 **1\. thank you so much for reviews and comments. They are the main reason for the updates coming so fast. Every time I am stuck I reread them! I am answering every single one (except the guest ones on . If you want I can do that on my tumblr. so if you are anon and want a reply tell me)**

 **2\. I am going to try to stick to a weekly update shedue. As I post the chapters when I finish them there isn't a buffer so it may be a day early or late on occassion. I'll try to update around Monday.**

 **3\. I hope it isn't too OOC. Please tell me your opinion as always. I will love you for eternity**

When Hermione woke up this time she found a vial of the hangover potion lying next to her. She looked up in surprise and saw Draco was awake. He was sitting popped up against the wall and stared into nowhere.

Hermione sat up carefully as her head hurt and downed the potion in one go. The headache disappeared immediately but her head still felt somehow heavy. Yes, she would definitely teach him how to brew proper hangover potion.

"Good morning," Hermione greeted Draco who hasn't moved yet. He didn't respond.

Hermione sighed and stood up and walked over to him. She waved a hand in front of his face but nothing happened. As Hermione didn't know if this zoning out was normal for him, she wasn't sure what to do next. She decided that maybe some physical contact might bring him back into reality and touched his shoulder carefully.

Draco jerked and looked at her in surprise. "Oh, you are awake," he said.

"As you are. Are you alright?" Hermione asked.

Draco looked at her in confusion before he realized what she was referring to. "Oh, yes. Sorry for scaring you. I fell asleep with my eyes open." When Hermione gave him an unimpressed look he continued. "I did that during Hogwarts a lot and the easiest way to wake me is indeed touching me as Zabini had always elbowed me into the rips when he had to wake me up – meaning all the time."

Hermione didn't look too convinced but let it be.

"What now?" she asked as she sat against the wall next to Draco.

He shrugged. "You are the one who's good at researching."

"So we are going to find a way around the curse?" she asked. "Together?"

"Yeah," Draco sighed. "I don't care if we actually break a curse or do something that it doesn't prevent. Just let's get rid of it. I am tired."

Hermione leaned her head against the wall and didn't respond. She understood. She was tired as well. They sat there in silence for a while and simply stared ahead.

"How about we start in the afternoon?" Hermione asked finally.

"We should get something to eat before that," Draco said.

"I need to take a shower and get some clean clothes first," Hermione replied and Draco hummed in response. They fell silent again. Still not moving, not touching, not looking at each other.

"Why don't you hate me?" This time it was Draco who broke the silence.

Hermione closed her eyes and sighed. "You want to kill yourself. How am I supposed to hate you?"

Draco snorted at that. "It's easy. I was a Death Eater and bullied you for several years."

"And yet you seem to be the only person who actually understands my feelings," Hermione replied.

"Oh stop that sappy shit! Tell me the truth," Draco demanded.

Hermione sighed again. "Let's be honest: you are an ass. But so I am. And I don't really care anymore so it doesn't matter. Seriously, I am just too tired to hold grudges. And what happened mostly wasn't your fault anyway."

Draco smiled weakly at that. "Thanks. I am glad you forgive me."

"You really hear what you want, don't you?" Hermione ran a hand through her hair.

"I do my best," Draco muttered. "But no, really. Thank you for what it's worth."

Hermione didn't reply.

After a while Draco nudged her leg with his foot. "Go take your shower and hurry up. I am getting hungry."

Hermione looked at him in confusion. "What?"

"Well, we are getting something to eat. But as you wanted to shower before that I am telling you to do it so we can leave as soon as possible," Draco explained as if it was the most obvious thing ever.

"We are going to eat together?" Hermione wasn't sure what to think of it.

"Why not?" Draco shrugged and stood up. He offered her his hand to help her up and she took it. "Get back as soon as you are finished," he said.

"Whatever," she muttered but got her shoes from where she had threw them the previous evening. While she hated being bossed around she really didn't want to be alone right then and was therefore secretly glad about Draco's idea.

Hermione apparated home and went straight to her closet to pick up some clothes. She couldn't allow herself to stop or she would end up in her bed, not willing to move. She pulled black jeans and a green sweater together with some underwear from the closet and went for the bathroom. She stripped quickly and climbed into the shower. She relaxed considerably as soon as the hot water hit her skin. Even though it was a bit too hot Hermione didn't adjust it. She enjoyed the feeling. She stood there for way too long before remembering that she had to go. She cursed silently.

Hermione climbed out of the shower and dried herself quickly before putting on the clothes she had previously selected. She was about to leave the bathroom when she remembered she had to brush her teeth. Sure, she was trying to die but that didn't mean she was going to forget everything her parents had taught her. That thought worsened her mood considerably and she was rather cranky when she apparated back to Draco's.

He was sitting on his bed, playing with his wand mindlessly. "Oh," he blinked when Hermione appeared in front of him.

"Let's go?" Draco suggested and stood up. When Hermione nodded he put on his shoes quickly and led her to the front door. "Are you fine with pizza?" he asked.

"Sure," Hermione shrugged. Pizza was always fine.

Draco put on his coat and offered his arm to Hermione. "I am too hungry to walk," he explained. Hermione rolled her eyes but took his offered hand. They apparated into a side street and Draco smiled at her. "We are almost there. It's only a few houses away."

Hermione nodded and followed him down the street and into a rather small shop.

"Cheap take-away pizza?" Hermione looked at Draco in surprise. "And it's a muggle-shop!"

"It's the best pizza in the world!" Draco whispered back and moved to join the short queue. "Trust me, you'll understand when you taste it."

Hermione watched him carefully as he ordered half a pizza for himself.

"Which one do you want?" he asked her.

"Hawaii," Hermione replied without thinking. Draco made a face but didn't comment. They got their pieces and went to stand at one of the small tables.

"I am surprised you set a foot in this place," Hermione said.

Draco made a face. "Try the food and you won't be," he muttered. "Besides, I've refrained of commenting your choice of pizza so please do the same and don't comment my choice of place."

"What's wrong with my pizza?" Hermione's eyes narrowed.

"There's pineapple on it!" Draco pointed at the offending fruit.

"So what?" Hermione asked.

"You shouldn't put fruit on your pizza!"

"By that logic you shouldn't put tomatoes on your pizza either since they are fruit too!" Hermione motioned to Draco's choice.

"Tomatoes are fruit? Don't be silly," Draco laughed at her.

"It's true. Muggles classify plants and apparently tomatoes are fruit and strawberries are nuts," Hermione explained and took a bite of her pizza to prevent further discussion.

Draco still seemed a bit disturbed but dug in as well.

"This really is good!" Hermione said in between bites. "I am surprised."

"Don't be," Draco grinned. "It's true Italian pizza baked in a stone oven. Of course it's good!"

When Hermione looked around the place once again, she spotted the oven in the back of the room.

They made some small talk as they ate, avoiding any unpleasant themes including pineapples and tomatoes as they finished their meal.

Draco looked expectantly at Hermione. She had been silent since she finished her pizza and was clearly thinking about something.

"I am not entirely sure about where to start," she said finally. "If there are any books about the curse, they will be hard to find. We can try it but I doubt that it will be easy."

Draco nodded. "We could try an old library. Like the one at the Manor or the Black's? Potter inherited the city house, right?"

"Yeah, I can ask him about borrowing a few books," Hermione agreed.

"Won't he ask questions?" Draco tilted his head.

Hermione snorted. "As if. He only reads for entertainment and avoids the library at Grimmauld Place most of the time. The only reason he hasn't sold or gotten rid of the books yet is that they are safe and sometimes even useful if they stay where they are. Other people could misuse them and burning isn't really an option."

Draco nodded in understanding. "Some probably have a bunch of curses preventing destruction on them."

"They do. Sirius had shot a few curses at them and it didn't work. And breaking every single one of the spells and curses on them would be too much work," Hermione said. They threw away the paper plates and left the shop.

"I suggest we get the books and meet at my place in three hours?" Draco asked after he checked the time. "I would invite you to the manor but I am sure my parents would have questions."

Hermione grimaced. "I don't really want to go there so it's fine."

"I wasn't saying that you wouldn't be welcome," Draco interrupted. "But they would be intrigued about the research we are doing together as I hadn't mentioned you before. I simply fear they would find out something."

"It's fine. That wasn't what I was talking about. I don't really care what your parents think anyway. It's just the bad memories of that place."

Draco looked away, his face unreadable and didn't say anything.

Hermione wasn't sure what to think about that when he suddenly looked back at her.

"I don't know if you even want to hear this but I am sorry for everything my family has ever done to you. It's clear that we have played a major role in pushing you over the edge."

"Stop," Hermione hold her hands up. "It's nice that you apologized but don't. You are giving yourself too much credit. It wasn't your family who played a major role so for fuck's sake don't try to change my mind! You would fail anyway!"

Draco was about to respond but Hermione apparated away.

"I was not going to try and change your mind," he muttered before he left as well.

Hermione appeared at his place three hours later just as they had agreed without books but carrying a bag instead.

Draco was sitting on the floor, surrounded by piles of books. "Didn't find anything?" he looked up at her.

Hermione grinned at opened her bag. She murmured a spell and books started flying out of it, setting in neat piles all around the room.

Draco's mouth fell open. "How the hell did you manage to pack them all in your bag?"

"Extension charm. I can put anything I want in it."

"Even a corpse?" Draco grinned back at her.

"Two. But no, we aren't going to do that," Hermione wrinkled her nose. "It would start smelling after a few days and they would find us."

"Too bad," Draco shrugged and patted the floor next to himself, indicating that Hermione should join him.

She took a pillow and sat down. "What do you have?"

Draco sighed. "Every book from our library that contained both curse and bridge and spell and bridge. It's more than I anticipated. Then there is the pile of books dealing with suicide. There aren't many as the topic is rather ignored in the wizarding world. I am pretty sure most of those are filled with dark magic but they could be helpful."

Hermione hummed in agreement. "Did the same. Seemed like the easiest solution. Only that the Blacks have more books on suicide. That's quite disturbing, considering what you've just said."

"That's the most noble and ancient house of Black to you," Draco shrugged. "We are all a little crazy. My mother suspects that my uncle Regulus killed himself."

Hermione opened her mouth and closed it again before she decided what she wanted to say. "Actually, that's only half-true," she said, not looking at Draco. "He died while trying to destroy a horcrux."

"Are you sure?" Draco was leaning forward, his eyes wide. When Hermione nodded, a wide smile spread over his face. "Mom will be happy to finally know. She had been fretting about it since I can remember."

Hermione bit down on her lip. They hadn't told anybody. She felt quite bad about it. They had thought about Sirius but had completely forgotten that they had had cousins. While it was certainly okay to not tell Narcissa at that time due to the circumstances they should have told Andromeda.

"Can I borrow your owl?" Hermione asked.

Draco raised an eyebrow but stood up and got the owl while Hermione wrote a short note, telling Andromeda to ask Harry for the details.

They sat down again and Hermione took a book from one of the piles. She stared at its cover.

"What's wrong?" Draco asked.

"I know this book. We've looked for information on horcruxes in it." Hermione stood up and pulled out her wand. She muttered a few quiet words and the books started flying around the room again. They sorted themselves into several neat piles again but this time they were clearly divided in two groups.

"What did you do?" Draco took the top book from the pile nearest to him.

"I sorted out those books that contain the word horcrux," Hermione explained.

"But why?" Draco looked at her in confusion.

"You are going to go over those. I am not able to right now," Hermione explained and Draco noticed her hands were shaking slightly.

"How was it?" Draco asked and put the book he had been holding back on the pile. "What happened when you were on the run?"

Hermione hesitated for a moment and Draco stood up and took her hand. He lead her to the living room and they sat on the sofa.

"You hadn't talked about it with anybody before?" Draco tried again and Hermione nodded before she took a deep breath and started talking. She told him everything. About Dumbledore's legacy, about horcruxes and yet again about Ron. She told him about the events leading to them being captured and brought to the Manor. She told him about breaking into Gringotts and impersonating Bellatrix. Draco listened silently. He had a haunted look on his face but didn't interrupt.

Only as the first tears started flowing did he pull her closer.

"I was so scared. So incredibly scared. And alone. It was hell. It is hell. It's over but it isn't. It's still in my head. All of it!" Hermione whispered and Draco rocked them both forth and back. Tears had started falling down his cheeks long ago.

"Tell me. Tell me your side of the story," Hermione demanded and Draco did. He needed three attempts before his voice didn't break but he told her. About Voldemort and his parents, about his father's stay in Azkaban, about living with a bunch of maniacs and the punishments they had all endured. He told her about the death and pain that had surrounded them, the fear of being next despite everything. About how he saw people he knew being killed and how he had prayed to deities he didn't believe in that Harry would succeed.

When he was finished, they fell silent but didn't move. Hermione was still in his arms and had put hers around him in return. They weren't friends but it didn't matter.

They fell asleep soon after.


	4. Chapter 4

**Was the last chapter that bad? If it was, I would really appreciate it if you told me why. The same goes with this one; tell me what you think. It's really important for me to get some kind of feedback because it feels like screaming into the void if there is none.**

 **Thanks to Nantai for betaing once again**

 **Other than that, I made a little face-cast for this fanfic because I had time: rowanofferelden/of-ends-and-beginnings-fanfic-facecast/**

 **Please review. Thank you and enjoy :)**

Hermione blinked. Everything was dark and she was warm. Really warm. And there was something heavy and moving behind her. She moved her head to the side and let out a breath she didn't know she had been holding. She was lying on the couch and being cuddled by Draco Malfoy.

Wanting to avoid the awkwardness, Hermione tried to extract herself from Draco's grip. What she hadn't expected was him waking up as soon as she lifted the arm he had draped around her. He jerked away from her, causing her to lose her balance and Hermione tried to grab him for support in an attempt to not fall from the couch. But as it was instead of being supported by him, Hermione managed to drag them both down from the couch. She landed on her back next to it and Draco ended up face-down half a meter away.

He cursed loudly and turned around to face her, rubbing his chin angrily and Hermione burst out in laughter, making him laugh as well.

"I pledge to not speak about this ever again," Draco said when they calmed down. "Are you alright?" he added as an after-thought.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Of course. I am not a porcelain doll."  
"Had to check. Society would kill me if I damaged their most precious brain. Oh wait. That's what I want. Maybe I should try it."  
Hermione was about to smack him when her eyes went wide and she halted mid-air. "That's it! If we can't kill ourselves we should try to kill each other!"

This time it was Draco who started laughing and Hermione smacked him for real.

"It will work!" she said.

"And how exactly are we going to get rid of the bodies?" Draco asked, dead-serious.

"Acid?" Hermione shrugged.

"Acid? Are you crazy?" Draco leaned forward, grinning.

"I believe that there are muggle-criminals who use it to get rid of bodies. Or we could let the place let burn down. Preferably somewhere in the countryside where it will take a lot of time to find the bodies," Hermione mused.

Draco leaned back and shook his head, still grinning. "I can't decide if you are more fun drunk or sober. I am almost pledging for sober. Your eyes get this mad glint in them."

Hermione smirked. "You are more fun when you are drunk."  
"That was a lie."

"Prove it."  
Hermione rolled her eyes once again. "You are less arrogant and less of an ass."  
Draco snorted. "Aren't those the things you currently enjoy most about me?"

"That would be the Firewhiskey, thank you very much."

"I truly enjoy you being mean the most," Draco said earnestly. "It is so honest and refreshing."

Hermione looked at him in bewilderment. "You can't be serious."  
"I am not Sirius. My uncle was," Draco replied drily and Hermione's mouth fell open.

"How? Why?"

Draco shrugged and grinned again. "My mother made the mistake of telling me that he did it all the time when they were young some time after the war. I've been doing it since then. Makes people really uncomfortable."

Hermione tilted her head and watched Draco. He stared back for a while but averted his gaze after not too long. "What?" he asked when he couldn't stand it anymore.

"Why are you really doing it?"

Draco didn't look at her. "As I said. Makes people uncomfortable. Annoys them."  
"That's not it," Hermione retorted calmly.

"Why are we even having this stupid heart-to-heart?" Draco muttered in annoyance.

"Why are you lying?" Hermione was still watching him.

Draco glared at her. "It's not your business. There's no reason for us to get touchy-feely."  
"And yet you are the one who starts being serious in the most unexpected moments before he hides again behind his sarcasm. You should decide what you want. I don't have the energy to deal with your mood-swings," Hermione said before standing up. "I'm going home. Need some sleep."

With that, she left.

OoO

Draco didn't contact her until her holiday was over. Hermione wouldn't admit it loud but she was in a foul mood because of it. Or rather – her mood that had improved over the few days she spend with him had returned to normal. Hermione told herself that the mood improvement had been due to letting off steam at Draco's expenses and now that she couldn't she was holding all the negativity in again.

Considering that she got angrier and angrier with every passing day, especially when she had to deal with people and act nice, it was quite logical.

"What do you want?" she asked when he walked into her office at the Ministry.

"To solve the puzzle?" Draco offered weakly and Hermione's eyes narrowed.

"What's going on?" she asked.

"Something happened."  
"And you came here because-?" Hermione rose an eyebrow.

"Because you are the only one who can understand," Draco looked her into the eyes as he pulled his sleeve up.

As soon as Hermione saw the red marks the anger lessened considerably but she wasn't going to let him know that.

"I need to break the curse. I have to," Draco said with determination.

Hermione grimaced. "I assume you continued the research without me. Why come to me? You fear you can't do it alone?"

Draco closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "I could. But it takes time. And that's the problem. I don't want the time. I want it to be over."  
"And I would speed the process up," Hermione concluded.

Draco looked away again. "That's not it."

That caught Hermione off-guard. Usually all people wanted from her was her knowledge. "Than what is it?"

"Your presence helps me cope," Draco said barely loud enough for her to hear. "It makes it bearable. You understand."  
"Why are you telling me this?" Hermione asked.

"Because you were mad at me when I tried to lie. And I am honestly too tired to pretend. You were too tired to hold grudges and so am I."

Hermione sighed and stood up. She walked around her desk and pushed Draco into one of the chairs before pulling out her wand. She jerked his sleeve up and muttered a quick healing spell. She had gotten awfully good at them during the war.

"Did you cut yourself anywhere else?" she asked and when Draco shook his head she pocketed her wand again.

"Friends?" he looked up at her hopefully.

Hermione sighed but a small smile appeared on her face. "I am really not sure how I am supposed to react when you act all nice and vulnerable," she confessed.

"I can revert back to the asshole you have known before," Draco wiggled his eyebrows. "But just that you know, I will switch between both sides, depending on the situation. I know that you told me to choose but I can't. What I can is to promise to not bait you again like last time and switch only for a sentence or two."

Hermione ran a hand through her hair. "Fine."

"Thanks," Draco stood up. "Come over in the evening. We can get something to eat before looking into the books."

Hermione nodded and he turned to leave.

"Malfoy," she called out and he looked at her in surprise.

"We are going to talk about that," she motioned to his arm.

Draco was about to protest but then thought the better of it. "Alright. See you later." And then he left, leaving Hermione to her work.

She returned behind the desk and looked down at the file before closing it and hurling it across the room.

"Fuck this shit!" The job seemed even more pointless than before.

ooo

It was already past seven when Hermione arrived at Draco's flat.

"Had to stay in late?" he asked when he saw her and she grimaced.

"It's like they aren't able to do anything without me. I was greeted by a staple of paperwork when I walked in this morning. They hadn't touched anything while I was on holiday."

"Sounds bad," Draco commented and took her jacket.

"It is. Horrible actually," Hermione muttered.

"Then why don't you just quit?" Draco questioned as they walked to the living room.

"Because some of us have to work for a living," Hermione gave him a pointed look.

Draco rolled his eyes. "I do work. Only less and in a different way than you. But that's not the point," he stopped her before she could say anything. "The point is, that you could quit and get a job you like with brains like yours."  
"What's your job?" Hermione asked, intrigued. She really hadn't been expecting Draco to work. He had no reason to.

Draco glared at her. "I know that you are trying to avoid my question. If I tell you, will you answer?"

Hermione glared back at him. "I am not."  
Draco rose an eyebrow. "If you don't want to know..."

"You are a manipulative prat!"

Draco shrugged. "That's nothing new. And you are as manipulative as I am so who cares?"

"When have I been manipulative?" Hermione crossed her arms.

"Half the time I have known you. Considering we went to school together it means that you are manipulative quite a lot. And don't look at me like that! Just this morning you were cold to me to make me squirm even as you weren't really angry at me! After all you knew that you could have come to me yourself!"

Hermione shook her head at that. "Just because you are like that it doesn't mean that all of us are."  
"If you are going to-"

"No, I am not going to say anything about Slytherins. Or at least I wasn't to," Hermione cut him off. "I think sticking to those stupid house characterizations and comparing everybody to it is childish."

Draco grinned. "How did you know I was going to say that?"

"Because you think like Harry and Ron. I had to start walking out every time they tried to describe somebody using the houses to make them stop," Hermione grimaced and Draco laughed at that.

"Don't worry, that won't be necessary with me," he said. "But I am starving. Would you be fine with Chinese take-away?"

Hermione nodded and they ordered their food. They spend the time waiting with chit-chat but when the food arrived Hermione couldn't take it anymore.

"So what's your job?" she asked.

Draco shot her a bemused look. "I am not going to tell you unless you tell me why you stick to that horrible Ministry-job."

Hermione huffed and bit her lip. She was really curious but knew Draco wouldn't change his mind.

"Fine," she said finally. "I'll tell you."  
"I am listening," Draco smiled at her and took a dumpling from the container.

Hermione took the time to take a bite and chew it properly before she answered. "I am sticking to it because I simply don't see the sense behind changing it. I am living a life where I wish and expect to die at any moment. Getting a new job would suggest that I want to keep going, that I have plans, which I clearly don't. I am practically waiting to get rid of everything including my work."

Draco nodded. He understood that feeling. "Well, with the curse intact you got a reason to get a new job," he said. "As we don't know how long this will take, you might try to get for something that doesn't turn your brain to mush. After all, we need all of your brainpower."  
Hermione smiled at him weakly. He had a point and she knew it. But she didn't know what she wanted to do instead. She looked up from her food and back at him. "So what's your job?" she asked yet again.

Draco swallowed what he had been eating and grinned at her. "I am a writer."

Hermione looked at him in surprise. "And what do you write?" she asked.

"Muggle children's books," Draco said and snickered when he saw her expression. "You don't believe me, do you?"

Hermione's eyes narrowed. "You are making a fool of me, aren't you?" she asked slowly. She wasn't entirely sure if he had been serious or not as both was possible with Draco.

"I am not. I have proof," Draco grinned and accioed a stack of papers and a children's book. He offered them to Hermione and she looked at them with awe.

"I can give you a copy and even sign it," Draco teased and Hermione looked up at him.  
"I would actually really like that," she smiled.

Draco rose an eyebrow but didn't comment. They finished eating in silence and then stood up to walk to Draco's bedroom where the books were.

"I have finished almost all of the books mentioning the Horcruxes," Draco pointed to a corner of his room. "I'll hopefully manage to get through the remaining ones today."  
Hermione nodded in understanding and took a book from the other pile. They sat down and started reading.

Several hours and books later Draco groaned. "This was the last one mentioning Horcruxes and still nothing," he said as he put the book away.

Hermione rubbed her eyes. She was getting tired. "Don't worry, we have still almost half of the books left," she said.

Draco nodded and stretched himself. Like that, the sleeves of his shirt slipped down a bit and revealed thin scars on his forearms.

Hermione's eyes widened as she remembered the incident in the morning. "What's up with these," she motioned to his arms.

Draco caught on immediately. "Just the usual," he said, not meeting her gaze.

Hermione ran a hand through her hair. "Why do you do it?" she asked.

"Helps me cope. I calm down, feel alive," he shrugged. "It's normal to self-harm if you are suicidal. Why does it even matter?" he looked at Hermione. "We are both trying to kill ourselves and you want to scold me over a few cuts. Why? It doesn't make sense!"  
"I don't want to scold you. It's not my place to," she replied calmly. "I just try to understand. I've never done it and I don't know… The blood, the fact that hurting yourself actually helps you is somehow even more disturbing for me than the fact that we want to die."

Draco grimaced. "You are right. It is. To be honest I don't really like doing it. That's why I came to you today. It gave me the push I needed to get over my pride."  
Hermione noticed he was rambling and took his hand. He looked at her in surprise and she squeezed it, giving him an encouraging smile.

Draco smiled back at her.

"I think we should call the quits for today," Hermione said and let go of Draco's hand.

He nodded in agreement. "We can continue tomorrow. Is that fine with you?"  
"I have dinner with Harry and the others tomorrow but I can stop by afterwards if it isn't too late for you," Hermione suggested, not looking too happy as she spoke about her friends.

"Sure," Draco agreed.

Hermione smiled and stood up. "See you tomorrow," she said and apparated away after he bid his goodbyes.


	5. Chapter 5

**And yet another chapter**

 **1\. This is NOT going to be a Ron bashing fic. I jsut need him to be an ass right now**

 **2\. And no I won't take too many jabs at Dumbledore either (even though I don't like him)**

 **3\. This chapter was a bitch to write. I hope the next will be better but with my birthday and the hardest exam of my major coming this week it may be a bit difficult. But the chapter will be probably on time - I write when I should study so yeah. If there are any teenagers reading: I don't recommend this.**

 **4\. As usual I would be really happy about feedback. Concrit is welcome too. Enjoy :)**

Hermione glanced at her alarm clock and groaned. She had to get ready soon or she would be late. The problem was that she really didn't want to go but not going wasn't really an option. She had already excused herself the last time and she couldn't do it on a regular basis or her friends would ask questions.

As Hermione wanted that even less she reluctantly got up and stretched. She walked over to her closet and pulled out jeans and a nice shirt. She dressed quickly and collected all the things she would need before flooing to the Leaky Cauldron where she would meet her friends.

Harry, Ginny and Neville were already sitting at their usual table and were in the middle of a discussion about flowers. Hermione rose an eyebrow at that as Harry and Ginny usually weren't too interested in that kind of topic but didn't comment and greeted her friends.

"How are you doing?" Ginny asked, abandoning the previous topic quickly. That was more like her, Hermione thought.

"I am fine, thank you," she said and smiled at her friends. "How are you guys?"

As always, Luna appeared before anyone could answer the question. Greetings were exchanged and they talked about their respective jobs. While it was clear that her friends truly enjoyed their jobs Hermione had to make something up to not worry them. She thought back to the talk she had had with Draco and really contemplated getting a new job for the first time since forever.

She concentrated on her friends again and joined the conversation. She could space out when they started the mandatory Quidditch-talk but that wouldn't be until Ron arrived.

"So, how was your vacation, Hermione?" Harry asked.

"Fine, thank you," Hermione smiled at him. "I read a lot and caught up on some sleep. Nothing too exciting but just what I needed." While it wasn't the truth, Hermione had only slightly altered it. After all, she had done nothing but read and sleep – and try to kill herself just to get cursed. But she wasn't going to tell them that.

"And get a new boyfriend!" Ron appeared behind her and Hermione cringed.

"I have already told you that's not the case!" she turned around to glare at him.

Several eyebrows shot up at the exchange.

"You met up alone?" Harry asked in surprise. "That's good!"

"Not really," Hermione muttered under her breath.

"Why?" Ginny who had caught the remark asked.

"Because she lied to me!" Ron said as he sat down. "She was wearing an oversized Quidditch jersey! And as we all know that Hermione hates Quidditch it had to be some bloke's!"

Hermione felt her blood rush into her head. "Even if it was someone else's jersey it would be none of your business, Ronald," she hissed.

"Wait," Harry interrupted. "Why were you wearing such casual clothes? Where did you meet?" He glanced down at her attire. While he had the tendency to be quite oblivious at times, Harry had known Hermione long enough to know that she never went for too casual. Jeans and a nice shirt were the rule when she went out with her friends just like today.

"He showed up at my door unannounced," Hermione glared at Ron.

"Boyfriend clothes are quite comfortable," Luna chipped in and Ron's face lit up.

"Look! I told you! Boyfriend!" he said.

"I am sorry to break it to you but that's no proof. Those clothes are just called that or else Luna wouldn't be able judge if they were comfortable or not," Harry tried to lighten the mood with the joke but sighed when nobody laughed. It seemed it was up to him to moderate once again as Ginny found the exchange more than entertaining and wasn't going to step in while Neville just sat there and watched quietly, not really wanting to get involved. "What were you doing there anyway?"

Ron remained silent and when all eyes turned to Hermione she stood up abruptly.

"I think it's best if I get going. I have a headache," she said and fished a few coins from her purse to pay for her drink.

"What? Already?" Ginny didn't sound pleased. "You just came!"

Hermione put on an apologetic smile and was about to say something when Neville stepped in.

"Hermione knows best what's good for her. In contrary to most of us she had to work today."

"Thank you," she said to him and bid her goodbyes, not looking at Ron. She really was too tired to deal with him.

Hermione walked out of the Leaky Cauldron and apparated straight into Draco's bedroom where the books were, startling him.

He looked at his watch and then back at her in surprise. "I thought you were having dinner with your friends."

Hermione shrugged. "Look, I am sorry that I surprised you but I am here just to pick up a few books and I'll be going again."

"Why?" he sat up and watched her carefully. "Was it that bad?"

"I just want to go home and be alone," Hermione said, not looking at him. "I am tired."

Draco ran a hand through his hair. "Are you sure that's what you want?"

Hermione's eyes narrowed. "I am. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Because you are lying to yourself as much as I am," Draco muttered. "You are scared to rely on others while feeling all alone. What are you going to do when a home? Cry yourself to sleep?"

"I am going to get my punching bag out and let of some steam. As long as you don't want to act as a substitute for it don't try to change my mind."

Draco snorted. "Right. If you want to continue your denial go ahead. I won't be stopping you. Though I doubt that you could hurt me even if you really wanted a punching bag what you don't."

"I hurt you back in third year," Hermione replied coldly.

"That was the surprise," Draco shrugged.

"Now it's you who's in self-denial. Malfoy," Hermione said and started picking up a few books.

"You just admitted that you were lying to yourself," Draco said and stood up before walking to stand next to her.

"We are both lying through our teeth half the time we open our mouths. I am not going to deny that. What's wrong is what I am lying about."

"So you are truly going to get your punching bag out?" Draco rose an eyebrow. "Sure."

At that, Hermione elbowed him into the stomach, hard.

He keeled over and Hermione looked down on him. "Do you believe me now?"

Draco laughed at that and Hermione turned back to the books.

"I still don't believe you, Granger," he said as he sat up, rubbing his stomach. "You are going home to an empty flat where you will stare at your empty walls and feel alone, lost."

Hermione turned around to face him. "You don't know what you are talking about."

"I do. After all I have quite similar feelings, remember?" he grinned at her.

"Why the fuck do you even want me to stay?" Hermione asked sharply. She didn't have the patience for games or anything else for that matter at the moment.

"Because I have spend the whole afternoon like that and it got only worse, not better," Draco hissed. "I feel like scratching my skin off just to do something, to feel something else. Even your jab into my stomach was welcome."

"And what are we going to do here together? Pity each other? Or ourselves? Because staring at my empty flat is better than that!"

"I wanted to finish the books. Would keep our minds occupied," Draco said. "And end things when we finally figure out how to get rid of that shitty curse!"

Hermione snorted. "Sure, because that works. That's why you managed so much this afternoon."

"Fine, go home!" Draco barked. "I don't care!"

"You do," Hermione said softly and Draco looked at her again.

"I don't! Now go!" he hissed, fed up with her mood-swings for the moment.

Hermione threw a book at him but Draco managed to avoid it as he launched forward and gripped her wrists.

"What the fuck is wrong with you Granger?" he shouted at her but she only shook her head as her lower lip quivered.

He stopped immediately as the first tear ran down her cheek.

"Let go. You are hurting me," she choked out.

"I am not," Draco shook his head but didn't let go. "That's not why you are crying."

"Just let go," Hermione pleaded and he did. She wished away a tear and picked up the books from the floor. "I am leaving now."

"You will splinch yourself," Draco caught her arm.

"Do I care?" she asked coldly.

Draco sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "What the fuck happened with your friends that you act like a different person every five seconds?"

"Nothing," Hermione replied.

"Was it the Weasel? It was," Draco said when he saw her expression. "He accused you of something and you don't know how to feel about it."

"You switch your personality ever five seconds as well," Hermione said instead of replying and Draco shrugged.

"I am just trying to adjust to your moods."

"Why are you even admitting all that stuff?" Hermione asked. The tears had stopped.

"Because it's what I need to do. And you need to hear it. Before I came to your office I made my decision. I wanted your help and I am offering mine to you."

"But what if I don't want it?"

"I guess I will force my help on you because it is helping me?" Draco grinned.

Hermione glared at him. "That wasn't half as funny as you think it was."

"Who says that it was a joke, Granger?" Draco challenged her and she rolled her eyes.

"Now put the books down and take off your shoes. We should start reading if we want to finish today," he said and took a book.

"Who says I am staying?" Hermione asked.

"Nobody. But considering that you are still standing in my bedroom and not breaking down I think it's a good idea. And yes, leaving just to spite me is stupid."

"You are an arse!" Hermione said but took her shoes of. She knew he was right. "But when we finish the books I expect some ale, understood?"

"Yes, ma'am," Draco grinned into his book.

They read in silence, Draco not risking to upset Hermione again, and went through book after book until there were no left.

When Draco finished the last book he threw it against the wall with an angry growl and Hermione didn't even bother to tell him off as she just stared down at her hands.

"I don't understand it," she said. "We can't be the first ones subjected to the curse. There has to be something!"

"But there isn't!" Draco snarled.

"We have to look harder!" Hermione turned to him with wide eyes. She looked quite mad with the mascara strains running down her cheeks and her wild hair. "Maybe we just got the wrong books!"

"Forget it," Draco said.

"So you want to accept it now? Give up on giving up? Even though it was you who was so desperate to figure out how to break the curse?" Hermione asked in an accusing tone.

"I didn't say that," Draco muttered. "I just don't think that books will help us with this. Just look around. We raided two of the biggest private libraries in Great Britain and didn't find a thing."

"So what do you suggest?" Hermione crossed her arms.

"Simple trial and error. We try things out and see if it works," Draco said.

"You are crazy, Malfoy!"

"We both are, Granger. That's why we even have this problem, remember?"

"Fuck you," Hermione snarled.

"You wish," Draco winked at her and Hermione shot him an unimpressed look.

"What are you waiting for? Get the alcohol," she said when he sat there and stared at her. "I am here for a reason, remember?"

Draco flipped her off but stood up nevertheless and left for the kitchen. He returned with a bottle of Firewhiskey and two vials of sobering potion.

"For once I am thinking ahead," he said as he placed the vials next to the bottle upon seeing her expression.

"I am amazed that you are capable of that," Hermione said with a grin.

"I live to please," Draco said and opened the bottle. Hermione tried to snatch it away but he leaned back and took several huge gulps before finally giving it to her.

"So what happened?" Draco asked.

"Ronald," Hermione replied shortly and drank.

"What exactly?" Draco inquired.

"Would it kill you to let it go?" Hermione asked.

"Unfortunately not," Draco said drily and Hermione rolled her eyes.

"So where are we going to start?" she asked and Draco shrugged.

"Maybe we should make a list? We've already had a few ideas and we can work through them one at a time and hopefully one will work."

Hermione nodded and Draco got a piece of parchment and a pen.

"We had that one with killing each other," he said. "But I would revert to that only if we must as it will be difficult to pull of. Especially the killing each other part."

"Then let's start with the usual ways and work from there to the extremes?" Hermione suggested and Draco agreed.

"Pills, hanging yourself, slicing your wrists?"

"The bodies will be found," Draco said. "Maybe we should make two lists. The second with ideas how to get rid of the bodies?"

"This is getting creepier with every moment," Hermione said and took a huge gulp from the Firewhiskey.

"What did you expect, Granger? That death would be fun?"

"No," Hermione shook her head. "We've both seen enough death to know that it's anything but fun and you know it."

They fell silent for a while.

"It's crazy that we still want to die even though we saw what we did," Draco said softly.

"I think we want to die because we saw what we did," Hermione closed her eyes. "Nobody who went through so much can stay sane."

"But what about the others? Shouldn't they be here with us if that's the case?" Draco leaned forward.

"I think they all have different ways to cope with it," Hermione smiled weakly. "And they have seen less," she added as an after-thought.

"Less? Potter has seen less? Care to elaborate?"

Hermione passed him the bottle and ran a hand through her unruly hair. "In a way he was lucky that he never knew his parents. I've send mine away the summer after Tommy's return and it broke my heart. You were willing to sacrifice everything to save yours. The Weasleys survived. While Harry lost Sirius I think it's different as he wasn't always around. It's easier to live without somebody if you have done so before. Or take your Manor. While I have been tortured there and I assume you were as well they've never experienced that."

Draco didn't say anything at that and averted his eyes. Hermione took that as a confirmation.

"While Harry has had Tommy in his head, Ginny had worse experiences with that. But everybody tried to shelter her from everything else so that works for her. But to be honest I don't really want to compare the sufferings. As I said, I mostly think everybody copes in a different way. Harry is a workaholic and tries to eradicate everything bad from our world. Ginny over-shares and forces herself to be cheerful. Luna is as always but I think that's due to the fact that it was already her way of dealing with the death of her mother. I am rambling, aren't I?"

Draco shook his head. "It's fine."

Hermione took another gulp from the bottle.

"To think that we are all so fucked up thanks to one person."

"Two," Draco said. "Dumbledore," he added bitterly when he saw her questioning look. "He fucked us all over."

Hermione didn't say anything to that just watched as Draco drank the remaining Firewhiskey.


	6. Chapter 6

**betaed by Nantai as usual**

Hermione ran into her office just to find her boss sitting there.

"Good morning," she tried to smile at him as she adjusted her blouse. She had fallen asleep in the pile of pillows in Draco's room and hadn't set an alarm. When she woke up, she had been already late and had therefore rushed her morning routine – including making herself presentable. It hadn't been a good morning.

"You are late," Mr. Griffin said. "Thirty-two minutes and fifteen seconds."

"I am sorry," Hermione said. "It won't happen again."  
"Who do you think you are – coming in late? Do you think being a war-heroine allows you such behaviour?!"

Hermione rose an eyebrow. It was the first time she was late since she started her job and therefore she hadn't been sure what to expect. What she certainly hadn't expected was this much presumptuousness.

"As I said I am sorry," Hermione said flatly.

"Don't sass me!" Griffin glared at her. "Show your elders some respect!"  
"I show respect to those who deserve it," Hermione crossed her arms over her chest. Something had snapped in her. Maybe it was caused by Ron, by the remains of her hangover or by Draco's words. She couldn't tell. "And you clearly don't. It's the first time I am late and you act like I do it every day. On top of your usual behaviour it's just enough. I quit!"

"You can't just quit!" Griffin jumped up from his chair with a red face. "How-"

"How dare I?" Hermione's voice was ice cold. "You treat me like garbage, want me to work during my free time, don't manage anything by yourself and you really have to ask how I dare to quit? Just fuck you!" With that, Hermione turned on her heel and went straight for the door.

Hermione marched straight to the fireplaces but couldn't remember Draco's address. So instead, she walked out of the building and apparated straight into Draco's living room.

"You did it!" she yelled on her way to his study where she suspected he would be. "You did it!"

"What are you doing here?" Draco asked from his bedroom door. He was wearing nothing but a towel around his waist, his hair still wet. "Shouldn't you be at work?"  
"I quit! And it's your fault!" Hermione pointed a finger at him in accusation, not noticing his state of undress. "Your stupid arguments made me quit my job!"

"And?" Draco leaned against the doorway.

"What?" Hermione glared at him.

"You still haven't explained why the hell you came here instead of going home," Draco grinned at her.

Hermione stopped at that. Why had she come to his place? She didn't know. "Because it's your fault that I quit!" she said finally.

"Took you long enough to come up with that. And it isn't my fault that you quit. It's your bosses fault. And the job's. If it hadn't been shitty you wouldn't have quit it. I am completely innocent," Draco said as he walked back into his room and Hermione followed.

"That curious about my best piece?" Draco asked as he picked up his clothes and Hermione looked at him in confusion before she realized what he was talking about.

"I didn't even realize you weren't dressed," Hermione said, her cheeks pink, before she turned to walk out of the room to give him some privacy.

"That prude?" he called after her.

"Not really," she called back. "Just ashamed that my rage took enough control over me to overlook that," she emphasized the last word.

"We are honest today, aren't we?" Draco snickered from his room.

"Oh shut up, Malfoy!" Hermione snapped. "You may have not noticed but today I am not in the mood for stupidity."  
"Ouch. That hurt, Granger," Draco appeared behind her, this time fully dressed. "And I doubt I have ever seen you in the mood for stupidity. Or maybe you reserve those moods for the Weasel and Potter. Thinking about it – your whole relationship with Weasel you had to be in that mood."  
"Fuck you," Hermione started walking back to the fireplace. "I have to find a new job."  
"I was only joking," Draco grabbed her arm.

"You weren't," she said.

"You are right. I wasn't. But I am sorry if I hurt you."  
"You didn't," Hermione stopped. "And stop treating me like a delicate flower!" she jabbed a finger into his chest.

"I am not! I am just trying to protect myself. You are quite violent if you are angry," Draco said with as much seriousness as he could muster. It wasn't much.

Hermione glared at him.

"I am serious. You are quite strong and I am lucky you haven't hexed me yet."  
"You are just trying to get back into my good graces!"

"Don't let Potter and Weasley hear that I ever was in your good graces. They'll admit you to a mental asylum in the blink of an eye," Draco grinned at her.

"For fucks sake! You want me to be pissed at you!"  
Draco shrugged. "But let's move. I want some tea," he said and finally let go of her before walking to the kitchen. "Do you want some too?"

Hermione nodded and he placed two mugs on the kitchen counter.

"So how do you feel finally free of the shitty job?"

"I am still angry. Not sure at whom exactly – Griffin, you, me, all of us. And somehow I am not sure what I should do. I need a job to survive," Hermione muttered.

"Well, even though the plan is not to survive you have a point. Any idea where to start?" Draco asked and poured the hot water into the mugs before placing them on the table.

"I have to write a proper resignation letter first. And then... I don't know," Hermione ran a hand through her hair. "I haven't really put much thought into it. Back in Hogwarts I had other problems than thinking about my career and afterwards I didn't really want to think so I pursued the Magical Creature thing but you see how it worked out. And now it's the same – I don't know because I don't want to have a future."

"What did you want to be when you were a child?" Draco asked. "Did you have a dream?"  
Hermione stared at her tea. "I wanted to be a lawyer."

"Then become one?" he suggested.

Hermione smiled sadly at the table. "What use would that have? I am sure I wouldn't even finish the training before we finally manage to kill ourselves."

Draco fell silent at that. He didn't know why he even suggested it. He understood Hermione's sentiment and yet he wanted to make her do something with her life. He had given up on himself but he hadn't given up on others as it seemed. "You need to do something until we break the curse. It's as good as anything else and at least it's an idea where to start. If they don't take you, which I doubt will happen, you'll have to find something else."

"Alright," Hermione nodded. "I'll try it. But tell me, why are you writing?"

"Well… That's a good question," Draco gave her a crooked smile. "And I bet you won't accept it if I don't answer?"  
"Get talking," Hermione leaned forward.

"Well, finding a job as a Malfoy wasn't exactly easy after the war. Technically I don't need it despite the Ministry seizing the Malfoy fortunes. My mother's Black inheritance is more than enough for a comfortable life but I would get mad doing nothing. Like this I have to meet people from the publishing house regularly and stick to deadlines. Gives me some structure."

"Do you like it?"

"It's fine."  
Hermione watched him carefully. "It's not exactly what you want to do."

"If I didn't want to do it, I wouldn't. I don't need the money to survive," Draco ran a hand through his hair.

"But there's something you would like to do even more," Hermione pressed on.

"Not exactly. I like writing. It's fun. Just what I write… Don't get me wrong – books for children are fine but I would want to write something more demanding," Draco sighed.

"Why don't you?"

"Because it would be too dark. I fear what would come out of it," Draco confessed.

Hermione drank some of her tea. "There are quite a few books written about or because of wars in the muggle world but I haven't seen one in the wizarding world yet. Maybe it's time for that."  
"I probably won't finish it."  
"Does it matter?" Hermione cocked her head. "I thought we established nothing matters anymore. If I am going to start my law training you are going to write that damn dark book. We go as far as we manage until we finally break the curse. After all, we have to do something in the meantime."

Draco rolled his eyes but a smile played on his lips. "Fine. If you put it like that I can't decline."

"Good," Hermione beamed and stood up. "But we should really work on the killing ourselves part."

Draco had to laugh at that. "Sure, but before that I would like to talk about something else."

Hermione rose an eyebrow and sat back down. "About what exactly?"  
"Our routine. Yes, we have one. Don't even try to deny it, Granger. I am sure you spend more time here than at your place since we met with the exception of the few days were weren't talking."

"Malfoy," Hermione sighed, "we haven't been talking longer than we have been talking."  
Draco rolled his eyes. "As weird as it is, it doesn't change the fact that we spend freaking much time together."

"Get to the point," Hermione crossed her arms over her chest.

"Warn me before you come over," Draco sighed. "I am a war veteran the same way you are. I am sure you understand that it's upsetting to have an unexpected visitor."  
Hermione nodded. "I am sorry," she said.

"It's fine. Just please keep that in mind in the future. I might hex you accidentally if you don't."  
"I am sure you'll hex me on purpose just to make me remember it," Hermione said.

"Maybe?" Draco grinned at her.

"You are terrible," Hermione shook her head slightly. "That reminds me – you don't have wards, do you?"

"How did you notice?" Draco asked.

"We apparated here the first time and I did it every time since then as well. When I wanted to floo here today I didn't even know the address," Hermione explained. "That means you don't have anti-apparation wards and as these are the most basic ones I suspect you don't have any at all. Am I right?"

Draco shrugged. "You are. But so what?"

"Why don't you have any wards?"

"I don't need them. People keep wards to protect themselves but I don't have a single reason for that. And being able to apparate straight into your bed from everywhere is just the best thing ever," Draco winked at her.

Hermione ran a hand down her face. "I don't even know where to start."

"It makes sense. Admit it." Draco had that crooked smile on his face again and his eyes sparkled for a change.  
"It doesn't," Hermione said flatly.

"Oh come on, Granger," Draco whined. "You know that the bed thing is the best."  
"You are acting like a child," Hermione said, hiding her smile behind her mug. The tea had cooled considerably in the meantime but she didn't mind.

"You are the one acting like a child since you don't admit that I am right simply because you don't want to agree with me," Draco pointed a finger at her in accusation.

"I am completely fine with admitting that you are right if it's the case but you are wrong," Hermione replied calmly.

"I can play this game for hours," Draco said.

"So can I. But if I remember correctly, we had other plans," Hermione pushed her mug away and stood up.

Draco rolled his eyes but did the same. "You are no fun, Granger," he said.

"You aren't keeping me around for fun," Hermione replied as their walked into his study.

"Are you sure about that?" Draco teased from behind her.

"You are in an awfully good mood considering what we are about to do," Hermione muttered.

"Why shouldn't I? If everything works out, I'll be free as a bird."

"Were you drinking after I left? Or did you take any other drugs?" Hermione turned around and regarded him carefully.

"God, no, Granger. I am not that pathetic," Draco ran a hand through his hair. "I just want to get this over with."  
Hermione shot him a sceptical look but took a book from the desk. "Let's get over the plan again to make sure we don't forget anything. As we can't tell how exactly this stupid curse works we have to be careful."  
"Yeah because the worst thing that can happen is that we survive," Draco muttered under his breath but Hermione heard him anyway.

"Actually the worst thing that could happen is that we don't die but the fire starts anyway and we get burned badly but survive that. Imagine the pain!" She shuddered. "It would be awful! We would possibly lose our eyesight and couldn't even lie down without hurting!"  
"Okay, okay. I get it. Just stop please," Draco held up his hands in surrender. "I like our plan with every world you add less and less and that's not good. Especially as the scary part involves surviving."  
Hermione grinned. "Well, I am glad you agree with me."

Draco rolled his eyes at that but Hermione ignored him.

"First we cast this spell on each other that checks if we are still breathing and tie it to the fire charm. Then we take 10 muggle sleeping pills each. That should be more than enough."  
"Do you think it will work?" Draco asked uneasily. "I mean the breathing charm. I really don't want to catch fire if I'm still alive."

"You can still quit if you are getting cold feet," Hermione said. "I'll manage on my own."  
Draco shook his head. "No, I want to get this done. Just let's cast the spells properly."

"Of course. Do you think I want to burn alive?" Hermione said and opened the book. She reread the spell they had found in one of the many books before she started to apply it on Draco. When she finished he cast it on her. Then they cast the fire-spell together.

"I'll get the pills and you get the Firewhiskey?" Draco offered and Hermione nodded. They went their separate ways and met in the bedroom again.

They sat down on the pillow piles facing each other and looked at each other uneasily.

"Here," Draco offered Hermione the box with sleeping pills and she took 10 out before returning it to him.

He did the same and soon enough they sat there and stared at each other, pills in one hand, a glass with whiskey in the other.

"On three?" Hermione asked quietly and Draco nodded.

"Let's hope this works," he said again and they began counting.

"One, two, three."

On three, they both put all the pills into their mouths and washed them down with Firewhiskey.


	7. Chapter 7

**I have been considering killing Draco and Hermione as a result of the last chapter since it feels like only 3 people are actually reading this story (thanks to you wonderful guys who review). I hadn't written a single word until today at 7 in the evening. The only reason this chapter is out is because my muse kicked me in the ass and I hate unfinished stories.**

 **But listen up: I write over 15k words in a month while being in college and I get nothing in return. While I mostly write fanfic I am trying to write a novel. And I want it to be good. The only feedback I get on my writing is here, on my fanfictions. So for god's sake do me a favour and tell me what you think: what you like, what you don't like. Concrit. It would mean the world to me.**

 **Thanks to Nantai for betaing**

Hermione coughed, turning to her side. Her eyes watered and the coughs didn't stop. Then she started gagging before finally throwing up all over the pillows next to her head. She had barely time to take a deep breath before she emptied her stomach again.

On the other side of the room Draco wasn't doing much better. He was green in the face and his skin was glistering with sweat. All in all, he looked as miserable as Hermione felt.

When her stomach finally set itself, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath when suddenly Draco shrieked.

Hermione opened her eyes and realized with horror that the rim of Draco's pants was on fire. The flame wasn't big yet but it would grow if they did nothing about it immediately. Draco was trying to put it out by putting a pillow over it but he was too weak to really move. Especially as his stomach hadn't settled completely yet, judging by the way he had to swallow repeatedly as if he was suppressing his gag reflex.

Hermione used all the power she had left and lifted a pillow, crawling over to Draco and pushing it onto the flame.

When she was sure she put it out, Hermione let herself roll onto her back and threw an arm over her face.

"Thanks," Draco said weakly but Hermione didn't respond. She was already half asleep again.

When Hermione woke up again, her head was pounding, her back was stiff and her throat was incredibly dry. She tried to sit up but her vision blurred.

"Slow, Granger, take it slow," Draco rasped from next to her.

Hermione groaned and turned to her side before she tried to sit up again, using her arm for support.

"I feel awful," she muttered and Draco let out a short, low laugh.

"Me too," he said. "Thank you again for earlier."

Hermione nodded in acknowledgement and took a deep breath. She had managed to sit up but she needed to drink something and that meant standing up and walking to the kitchen. She was not sure if she would manage. She moved to her knees and began to rise but black spots swam in front of her eyes and Hermione had to sit down again.

"What are you doing?" Draco rasped from where he was still lying.

"Need to drink," Hermione replied and tried to stand again but the result was the same.

"Use magic?" Draco suggested.

Hermione nodded again and started looking for her wand. It took her a while but she finally found it under a stained pillow.

"This is so disgusting," she grimaced as she took her wand. "Accio water."

Nothing happened. She was too weak. Hermione cursed and put her wand away before she started crawling. Her head didn't spin as much as she wasn't too high and even if she fell, she wouldn't hurt herself as much.

The progress was slow as her muscles ached, especially when she had to reach up to pull down the door handles but Hermione managed to get into the kitchen eventually. Getting a glass out of a cabinet and filling it with water proved to be another challenge. Hermione was sitting on the cold floor, thinking about how she would accomplish the task when she saw the bottles of pumpkin juice in the corner of the room.

Hermione didn't hesitate and crawled over to the bottles, opening one immediately. Luckily, it was one of the fancy reusable glass bottles one used for organic juice and therefore easy to open and Hermione drank greedily. It was thick and would probably upset her stomach again, but Hermione didn't care. She was thirsty and probably severely dehydrated and the juice tasted amazing.

When she finished drinking, Hermione sat there for a while, preparing herself for the trip back. She was still really exhausted and sleeping on the kitchen floor wasn't an option as the tiles were really cold.

Hermione took two bottles of the pumpkin juice and started rolling them carefully down the hall and towards Draco's bedroom as she crawled slowly after them. She wouldn't be able to get back to the kitchen anytime soon and Draco was doing even worse than she was, judging by what she had seen.

"Here," she said as she placed a bottle next to him and the other next to her own pile of pillows.

"Thanks," Draco muttered as he tried to sit up, needing two attempts to succeed. He drank some of the juice carefully before lying down again.

"We should sleep some more," Hermione said and yawned. "Our bodies need to process the stuff." With that, she closed her eyes and fell asleep soon after.

When Hermione woke up the third time, the first thing she noticed was the terrible stench. She turned to her side immediately and put a hand in front of her mouth before standing up and running into the bath where she emptied the remaining contents of her stomach into the toilet.

"Feeling better than before?" Draco asked and Hermione turned around in surprise. She hadn't noticed he had left his makeshift bed and moved to the bathroom as everything was dark. It had to be the middle of night.

"Considering that I am able to walk, yes," Hermione said and carefully sat down next to him. "How are you?"  
"My head hurts like a bitch, I am hungry but I don't think I can eat something, my limbs feel heavy. So basically like shit. But better than before," Draco sighed. "What the fuck happened anyway? Why aren't we dead?"  
"I don't know," Hermione shrugged. "If one of us had vomited all over the place but the other hadn't, I would say coincidence. But as it is, I think it was the curse. It forced us to empty our stomachs but somehow some of the stuff reacted with the alcohol, making us both feel like shit."  
"Great," Draco muttered and ran a hand through his hair. "I am really looking forward to cleaning the place. The stench is terrible."  
"We don't smell any better," Hermione took a sniff on her own arm before leaning over and sniffing his shoulder. "Maybe even worse."

Draco stood up carefully and Hermione rose an eyebrow. She was about to ask what he was doing when a stream of water hit her.

Hermione screamed and stood up, trying to take the shower head from the laughing Draco.

"Come on, climb in," he said as he stepped into the bathtub himself, still fully clothed, and directed the water at himself.

Hermione looked at him like he was mad but followed in eventually. The water had felt really good.

They both sat down and enjoyed the warm water falling on them until Draco suddenly pulled his shirt of.

"What the hell are you doing?" Hermione asked in confusion.

"Wet clothes are really awful," Draco muttered and Hermione rolled her eyes.

"You should have thought of that before you decided we should shower in clothes."  
"You can't expect me to think today. Besides, you wouldn't have agreed to taking a shower together while naked and we both really needed one. You said it yourself," Draco crossed his arms over his chest.

Hermione's eyes narrowed and she pulled her shirt of, while staring him down demonstratively. She was still wearing her red lace bra but it wasn't really hiding much.

Draco's mouth fell open and Hermione started to laugh. "Are you trying to drink the water from the shower? You need to tilt you head back for that, you know."  
Draco's mouth snapped shut. "What the hell, Granger?"

Hermione only smiled at him innocently and he turned the water cold in response.

"What the hell, Malfoy?" she shrieked.

"Just trying to undo the damage you caused," he smiled innocently at her. "I don't think blood pooling down there is good for my health right now."

It was Hermione's turn to gape. "Did you just admit that I turn you on?!"

"I admitted something even worse," Draco said and leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees. "You turn me on even though you look like shit. Or maybe because you look like that? I am not entirely sure how sick and twisted my taste is."

Hermione groaned and hid her face in her hands. "Nothing matters, remember nothing matters. Or you are dead and this is hell. But more like the parody of hell," she chanted to herself and Draco watched in amusement.

"Did I break you?" he asked and poked her shoulder.

Hermione looked up and shook her head, sending water droplets flying all over the place. "No, everything is fine. Just needed to process the surreality of this," she said with a smile.

"You are weird, Granger," Draco muttered and finally leaned back.

"So are you," Hermione said and stood up. "But we should dry ourselves or we'll get sick. And after today I really don't want to be sick for a long time."  
Draco stood up as well and took the towel she offered him. "Why am I weird? Just because I think a woman in lingerie is hot?"  
"Because you are able to think somebody is hot in such a situation," Hermione replied flatly.

"Oh come on, didn't you think for a moment I was hot when I striped?" Draco drawled.

Hermione snorted. "Not really. Have you already forgotten that I have not even noticed that you were half-naked this morning? Sorry to break it to you Malfoy, but you aren't every woman's dream."  
Draco clasped his hands over his heart theatrically. "You are breaking my heart, mon amour."

Hermione just shook her head and walked out of the bathroom, Draco following her immediately.

"What are we going to do now?" he asked.

"I want fresh clothes, a proper shower and something light to eat," Hermione replied as they walked into his bedroom. She wrinkled her nose. "But first I have to find my wand in this mess," she gestured to the floor where pillows lye in the vomit.

"God, this is so disgusting," Draco muttered and carefully walked over to where he had spotted his wand.

Hermione had to move some pillows to find hers and her face was pale and green again when she found it. "We should never use poison again."  
"Agreed," Draco sighed and carefully pulled fresh clothes from his wardrobe. "From now on we should stick to sheer force."  
"Sounds good to me," Hermione said, holding her wand with two fingers and looking at it with disgust. "But could you please scourgify my wand first?"

Draco chuckled but did as he was asked. "I know that it might not be appropriate but I wanted to ask if it would be possible that I came with you to your place tonight? I mean, it's late and I really don't feel like cleaning and the smell wouldn't get away," he ranted and Hermione had to raise her hands in surrender before he stopped.

"It's fine. I've slept here way too often and you haven't even been to my flat before," she said and Draco let his shoulders relax. Hermione noticed and wondered why he had been so anxious but didn't ask as he thanked her and she simply smiled at him.

"Well, get everything you need," Hermione said and walked over to his living room, away from the stench. She sat down on the couch and closed her eyes.

"I have to admit that I would have never expected it but having you sit half-naked on my couch is disturbingly hot," Draco said as he walked into the living room.

Hermione didn't even open her eyes as she threw one of the decorative pillows at him. "Your new coping mechanism is disturbing."

"My coping mechanism?" Draco rose an eyebrow. "What?"  
"Telling me that I am hot," Hermione said and finally opened her eyes. "You try to ignore everything that has happened in the past few hours by noticing something you haven't before. Because I am hot and have been for a long time," she grinned at him cockily and stood up.

"You saw through me, oh almighty Granger," Draco drawled.

Hermione rolled her eyes and offered him her arm. "Come on, let's go."

Draco took it and Hermione apparated them into her kitchen.

"Go take a shower, I'll make us something to eat," Hermione said. "There are fresh towels in the cabinet under the sink."  
"Where's the bathroom?" Draco asked and Hermione had to show him before returning to the kitchen and fishing pasta and pre-made tomato sauce from her cupboards.

She boiled water with her wand and threw the pasta into it while putting the sauce into another pot and letting it cook too.

"Don't let it burn or overcook," Hermione said as soon as Draco walked into the kitchen. "The pasta will be done in two minutes." With that, she walked out of the kitchen.

When Hermione returned, she was fully dressed and had a towel around her head. Draco had even served the pasta and was sitting at her small kitchen table, looking rather bored.

They ate in silence.

"Are you tired?" Hermione asked as she stood up to collect their empty plates and put them into the sink to wash them later.

"Yes and no," Draco said and ran a hand through his hair. "I am tired but don't want to sleep."  
Hermione nodded in understanding. "What does that mean?" she asked as she leaned against the kitchen counter.

Draco shrugged. "I don't know. My head is a mess. You were probably right about pushing reality away. I don't think my head has caught up with that we have done and how it ended."  
Hermione smiled and patted Draco awkwardly on the arm. "That's fine. I feel the same."  
"You are better at hiding it," he said.

"And yet I don't reach the same levels you did in sixth year."  
Draco snorted. "Probably not. After all nobody really noticed that something was wrong."  
"That's not true," Hermione said softly and Draco shook his head.

"We should sleep. Do you have a sofa?" he asked as he stood up.

"Of course. I'll show you," Hermione said, at loss of what else she should do. Considering their day, sleep seemed like the best option anyway.

After she had given Draco a pillow and a blanket, Hermione found herself in her own bed, staring at the ceiling in darkness.

She closed her eyes and hoped that sleep would take her soon but she wasn't that lucky. Hermione spend the next two hours turning around in her bed, readjusting her pillows and trying out all the tricks that were supposed to make you fall asleep. At half past four in the morning, Hermione finally gave up and decided to get herself a glass of water.

She was about to return to her room, when Hermione heard a strange noise from the living room where Draco was sleeping. Being reminded of her own nightmares, Hermione decided to try and wake him.

Hermione walked into the room and to the couch and crouched down next to it. Draco was sitting on the couch with his eyes closed, shaking badly.

Hermione put a hand on his upper arm carefully, planning to shake him awake but his eyes snapped open as soon as she touched him. He hadn't been asleep at all.

"Malfoy, it's me," she whispered and he gave a short nod in response.

"What's wrong?" Hermione asked and sat on the couch next to him. Draco didn't respond.

"Are you cold? Sick?" she asked, thinking back to their shower. Draco shook his head.

That meant it was psychological. Hermione took a deep breath. "Can I help you? Or should I leave?" She really didn't know what she had to do. Everybody was different and she didn't know Draco well enough to guess what he needed from her right then.

"Draco?" she asked again when he didn't respond and stood up when he finally spoke up.

"Stay," he whispered hoarsely and hid his face in his hands.

Hermione sat back down and put carefully a hand on his back, looking for any signs of discomfort. When he didn't react, she pulled him into a hug and started rubbing soothing circles on his back as he clung to her sleeping shirt.

Only when it began to stick to her shoulder she realized that he was crying.

 **Seriously tell me what you think, please.**


	8. Chapter 8

**First of all, thank you for the wonderful response to the last chapter! It made me really happy and I appreciate every single comment and review.**

 **But let's talk about it a bit more: since I told you I was worried about readers and thought about killing the characters with the last update I got 19 reviews (combined from all websites where I posted this) in comparison to 20 for the other 6 chapters combined! And it's still less than 2% of all readers - 2% is actually quite a lot for a fic. Scary, isn't it?**

 **What I want to say: you made me happy and I would be even happier if you could keep the reviewing up - I don't expect a review every chapter from everybody but I would really appreciate it if you guys showed me that you cared at least once in a while.**

 **To those who are worried about their English: it's fine. I'll understand it. English is my second language as well.**

 **To those who don't know what to write or worry about not being enough for a writer: every word matters to me. Just tell me what you liked or something. YOu are awesome!**

 **On another note: I am sorry but writing Ron is super hard for me. Idk why.**

 **For the German readers: there is a Dramione One-shot I posted.**

 **And thanks to Nantai for betaing.**

 **I am sorry about the notes escalating this much. Please enjoy**

Hermione was making breakfast when Draco walked into the kitchen, pale as a ghost and with dark circles under his eyes.

"How are you feeling?" Hermione asked with concern but he just shook his head in response.

"Do you have coffee?" he rasped and Hermione motioned to her coffee machine.

"You can make some if you want to."

Draco looked between Hermione, who had already turned back to the eggs she was making, and the machine before he sat down on one of the kitchen chairs.

"What's wrong?" Hermione looked at him over her shoulder. "Changed your mind?"  
"You are making fun of me," Draco muttered with annoyance. "If you want me to leave just tell me."

"What are you talking about?" Hermione turned to face him again but Draco wasn't looking at her.

"I can understand if you are uncomfortable having me around after yesterday," he whispered, his voice hoarse. "You wouldn't be the first."

Hermione clasped her hands in front of her mouth, her eyes wide. "Who?" she asked quietly as she stepped closer to him.

Draco just shook his head again and Hermione crouched down in front of his chair.

"Look at me, Malfoy," she said and took his hands into hers. "I don't know why you think I am uncomfortable around you or want you to leave but neither is the case."

Draco nodded but still wasn't looking at her.

"If something is wrong you need to talk to me. We are spending time together because we want to and not because we have to."  
Draco's mouth twitched. "Are you saying you actually like me?" he asked.

"Indeed. I mean, I could have let you burn alive yesterday but I didn't. Should be proof enough," Hermione winked at him and Draco laughed.

"I am sorry," he whispered and Hermione squeezed his hand.

"We are both emotionally exhausted. It's normal to overreact. Just please talk to me in the future."

"So are we friends now?" Draco asked.

Hermione nodded and stood up. "We are. Under one condition though: we are going to use each other's first names from now on."  
Draco rose an eyebrow. "You want to make it as weird as possible, don't you?"  
"It's already as weird as possible," Hermione winked at him again and Draco rolled his eyes. He was about to retort something when a shrill sound went off in the kitchen and he jumped up, wand in hand, while simultaneously pulling Hermione close.

Hermione started laughing and he shot her a dirty look. "What the hell?" he barked, looking around frantically.

"It's the fire-alarm," Hermione explained and pointed to the now black, smoking eggs on the stove.

"And why are you laughing?" Draco asked with annoyance as he let her go and sat down again.

"I don't even know," she said in between of fits of laughter, clutching her stomach. "Letting off steam?"

Draco shook his head but there was a hint of a smile on his face. "But could you turn off that sound? I'm getting a headache."

Hermione nodded and turned off the stove before moving the pan with the burned eggs away. Then she took a broom from the corner of the room and Draco watched with interest as she used it to hit a white circular thing on the ceiling and the awful sound stopped.

"Finally," Draco said with relief while Hermione eyed the eggs with disgust.

"Those are uneatable," she sighed and threw them out. "I'll have to make something else."

"Or we go out," Draco suggested. "I'm paying"

Hermione didn't look too enthusiastic but agreed with a last glance at the ruined pan.

They got dressed and left the flat, aiming for a quiet muggle café near Hermione's flat where they could eat in peace.

After they ordered and Draco had drowned his first cup of coffee the topic shifted from meaningless banter to business.

"How do we proceed after what happened yesterday?" Draco asked matter-of-factly, toying with his cup.

"We are never using medicine, poison or anything similar again," Hermione said and took a sip from her tea. "That means we need to get through the other options and make a plan. But I would wait a few days before we try anything again since we can expect to feel bad if we fail and I am not too keen on the combined pain."

Draco nodded in understanding. "That means we have to sort out everything else in the meantime. Like our jobs," he looked pointedly at Hermione.

"And cleaning," she replied, looking him straight in the eyes and thanked the waiter who had brought them their food.

Draco rolled his eyes and Hermione laughed.  
"Don't worry, I'll help you. It's my mess too," she said.

With everything sorted, they spend the remainder of breakfast with easy banter in between delicious pastries, leaving Hermione impressed with Draco's wit. She had to acknowledge that he was smarter than she had ever given him credit for.

Draco on the other hand had experienced a relaxed, sober Hermione for the first time and was at a loss of words about the transformation.

Draco paid and they walked back to Hermione's flat, talking less and less the closer they got.

"Listen-" Draco started at the same time as Hermione said, "I think-"

They stopped and looked at each other with unease until Hermione broke the silence. "Go ahead, Draco."  
He shook his head. "Ladies first."  
Hermione grimaced but took a deep breath before starting. "I think you should stay tonight."

Draco gaped at her and Hermione blushed. "You don't have to, if you-"

"No, that's not it," he smiled at her and ran a hand through his hair. "Actually, I wanted to ask if you would move in with me."  
Hermione looked at him in shock. "What?"

"Well, it's logical," Draco avoided her gaze. "We spend a lot of time together and with everything going on it won't change. And that way, neither of us would have to drag themselves anywhere after another failed attempt and we could look after each other if something happened."

"Something like yesterday?" Hermione asked quietly.

"Something like yesterday."  
"Alright," Hermione said after a moment of contemplation.

"Really?" Draco asked hopefully.

"Yes. Under one condition."  
"You and your conditions. But go on."

"You are going to talk to me," Hermione said.

"We are talking, Gr- Hermione," Draco grinned at her.

"You know what I meant, Draco," Hermione glared at him. "You are going to talk to me about things like yesterday night and this morning."

Draco took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair. "Fine," he said flatly while staring at a point somewhere above her right shoulder. "But you have to talk to me too."

"Agreed," Hermione smiled at him and started walking again.

They were chatting the whole way back to Hermione's flat, discussing their new living arrangements. Draco was telling Hermione about his schedule with the publishers as they walked into her living room when somebody threw themselves at Draco, pinning him against the wall next to a door, wand at his throat.

Draco banged his head hard enough to see stars and Hermione shrieked in surprise.

"Get away from her!" Ron shouted at the shocked Draco.

"Ron, let him go," Hermione sighed and looked at an equally surprised Harry sitting on her couch.

"He may have imperiused you!" Ron said and glared at Draco.

"Why would I do that? I don't need magic to make people like me," Draco spat.

Harry, who still hadn't moved from the couch, ran a hand through his hair. "Ron, let him go. Hermione," he looked up at her, "you have some explaining to do."

"I have some explaining to do?" Hermione rose an eyebrow. "That's interesting."

"Hell yes, you do!" Ron barked and pointed at Draco. "I would like to know what the ferret is doing here and where the fuck you have been for the past two days."  
"I was talking about quitting your job, Hermione," Harry said. "Even though I would like to know why you lied to us when Ron told us you had a new boyfriend. Even though it's Malfoy."  
Hermione shook her head in disbelief. "Seriously?" she asked. "You have come to the conclusion that Draco and I are dating based solely on the fact that he is here? Really?"

"You were wearing his clothes!" Ron glared at her.

"I wasn't. As I've already told you, they were my sleeping clothes."

Harry sighed. "I'm tired and I don't really care if you are dating or not, if it were your clothes or his or whatever. It's your life. Just tell me that you are fine and you know what you are doing," he looked pointedly at Malfoy, "and that it isn't his fault that you lost your job. You loved it!"

Hermione smiled sadly and sat down next to Harry while Draco and Ron kept standing and glared holes into each other. "I am fine, Harry. I quit because I actually hated my job. Griffin yelled at me and treated me like trash the day before yesterday and I snapped. I feel really good about it. And about Draco," she looked at him and he rose an eyebrow. "We are moving in together."  
"What? You are joking, aren't you, 'Mione?" Ron asked in disbelief while Harry just gaped at her.

"No I am not," Hermione said and ran a hand through her hair.

"But why?" Harry asked.

"Because I am sick of living alone and no other of my friends is really available."

Harry rose an eyebrow. "Really?"  
Hermione nodded. "You and Ginny are living together, Neville and Hannah, Luna is still at home."

"What about me?" Ron chipped in.

"Because that worked so well last time," Hermione replied dryly and Draco laughed, earning himself another glare from Ron.

"Because the ferret is better than me," Ron muttered. "You are crazy, Hermione."

"Seriously, Weaselbee, I am better than you could ever be," Draco said.

"You stupid-," Ron started but Hermione wasn't having any of it.

"Enough! Both of you!" she snapped at them and turned back to Harry.

"I think it's the best solution right now. I've been thinking about becoming a lawyer and the pay wouldn't be enough for me to afford this place or anywhere else by myself. Getting a room-mate seemed the perfect solution and Draco and I are getting along just fine."

Harry nodded. "If you are happy with it," he said, not sounding too convinced.

"I can't believe you are fine with that, Harry," Ron muttered. "It's Malfoy!"  
"I don't know why you are complaining, Weasley," Malfoy drawled. "Considering you want Hermione back for yourself one would think that I am the perfect flat-mate in your eyes. You know, with being an arrogant ass, ex-death eater and whatever else you think I am. All that could make her realize what she had had in you."  
"You are making fun of me," Ron's eyes narrowed.

"Of course I am," Draco rolled his eyes. "Doesn't change the fact that it's still a legit point, unless of course you think that I am in any way desirable for a woman."

"Your money," Ron spat and Hermione raised an eyebrow.

"Are you suggesting I would sleep with Draco for money?" she asked in disbelief.

"No," Ron shook his head. "It was just a general answer. I know you would never do such a thing. Doesn't change the fact that I can't understand why you want to move in with Malfoy of all people if he indeed hasn't imperiused you. I am just really worried for you. You mean so much to me."  
Draco rolled his eyes. "Run a test if you have to."

Ron shook his head. "No. I trust Hermione – if she says it's fine, it is fine. Especially as she is a better witch that you could ever be."  
Draco shrugged and Hermione clasped her hands together. "I am so glad that everything is settled now. But I think you should go now, Ron, and take Harry home. He is falling asleep."

"Alright," Ron nodded, visibly trying to keep himself in line. "Look, Hermione. I am sorry about the dinner."  
"It's fine," Hermione waved him of. "Just please don't accuse me of anything again."  
Ron nodded and offered Harry his hand.

"Tell Ginny I said hello," Hermione said and they apparated away after bidding their goodbyes.

As soon as they were gone, Hermione let herself fall on the couch and buried her face in her hands.

"Are you alright?" Draco asked carefully as he sat down next to her on the couch.

"Yeah," Hermione muttered and leaned against him and he put a hand on her back and started running soothing circles with it.

"It could have gone worse," Draco said after a while.

"Indeed. Ron tried to behave," Hermione replied. "I am surprised how well they took the news of us moving together."

"I was surprised that you told them so soon."

Hermione shrugged and stood up abruptly. "Anyway, we have things to do, don't we?"

Draco looked at her in surprise, his hand still mid-air.

"The longer we put cleaning your bedroom off the worse it will get," Hermione said.  
"Is that the way you think? The longer you take to do something the worse it gets? It explains how you get out of bed every morning but it doesn't explain how you kept that horrid job so long," Draco replied and stood up as well.

Hermione rolled her eyes and took his hand and apparated them back to his flat.

The smell was terrible and Draco complained a lot but they managed to clean the place within an hour thanks to several cleaning spells Hermione learned from Molly.

When they finished, Draco dragged Hermione to his study and stood next to her while she wrote her letter ofresignation, glaring at her every time she wanted to put it off until she finished and they send it to her now former boss.

They walked over into Draco's living room and sat down on the couch.

"We should move together as soon as possible," Draco said and put his feet on the coffee-table. "If you want you can move in here or we can get a new place. I don't care."

Hermione studied him carefully. "Why are you pushing this so much?" she asked. "We are getting along for quite a short time for moving in immediately and while I understand your reasoning, I feel like you are not telling me the whole truth."

Draco ran a hand over his face. "What do you want to hear?" he asked. "That I am sick of living alone?"  
"Why haven't you asked anyone before?" Hermione questioned.

"Because I don't want them to find out about my… condition," Draco sighed. "You know about it anyway and you understand. Seems like the logical choice."  
Hermione nodded. "What was tonight about?"

"A nightmare," Draco replied shortly, averting his gaze.

"Do you have them often?" Hermione asked, watching Draco for any kind of reaction, something was of.

"Sometimes," he said, his face passive.

Hermione bit her lip. There was something very crucial he was not telling her. "If I am going to find you like that on a regular basis it might help to know what they are about so I can help you calm down."  
Draco ran a hand through his hair. "Don't worry, your presence will be enough for me to calm down."

"Are you sure?" Hermione asked carefully.

"Yes," he replied and turned to face her. "After all, it proves that it has been a dream and Bellatrix didn't kill you."


	9. Chapter 9

**As always thanks to those who reviewed.**

 **As always I would be quite happy if you left me any kind of feedback as it makes writing easier and more enjoyable.**

 **On another note: if any of you have a completed Dramione you can send me a message on tumblr or and I'll read it.**

 **Other than that the usual thanks to my beta Nantai. Without her you would have a bunch of weird unfitting words in here because it's late and I have been writing the whole day for school in 3 different languages.**

It was four in the morning and Hermione had her head on Draco's shoulder as they sat on her little couch, the television in front of them showing some action film.

Draco had had another nightmare and had woken Hermione half an hour earlier accidentally. He hadn't been able to fall asleep again and she had decided to stay awake with him until he could sleep again.

"Have you decided yet?" Draco asked her. "My place or a new one? This one is too small."

"New one," Hermione replied and pulled the blanket tighter around herself. "And this film is so bad. Who the fuck would write something like this? The girl was there just so he could shag her and then she'd die!" she complained and Draco chuckled.

"Don't laugh!" she sat up and pointed an accusatory finger at him. "If we live long enough for you to finish that book and there is even a single girl like that I will skin you alive!"

Draco laughed again and ruffled her hair, earning himself a glare.

"Don't worry. I couldn't write such a woman after knowing you. Or Pansy. Or my mother. God, if I ever wrote something like that half the women I know would be after me with the intent to kill. The other half would be cheering and aunt Bella would probably defy death itself to come back and skin me alive."

"You definitely shouldn't write something like that." It was Hermione's turn to laugh and Draco grinned at her.  
"But now that this is settled, can we agree on going to look at flats later today? My back is seriously killing me after only two nights on this damned couch. We are taking either mine or getting a new one. I have the burning suspicion that this one may even be responsible for my nightmares."  
Hermione tilted her head and looked at Draco for a long moment. "Why are you trying to be funny today?"

Draco grinned at her sheepishly. "I am not trying to be funny. I am funny. That's what lack of sleep and no coffee in the morning do to me."  
Hermione rolled her eyes. "Then sleep some more. I won't be able to deal with you being like this for a whole day."  
"Oh, really? Why?" Draco asked with interest.

"Because you are quite cute when you act like that and that's disturbing," Hermione said and turned the TV off before standing up. "Good night. If something happens, wake me."  
Draco smiled at her. "Thank you," he said and watched as she walked to her room.

He woke up a few hours later to a quiet flat. Hermione was obviously still asleep but Draco decided to get up anyway. He walked into the kitchen and studied the mysterious coffee machine Hermione had showed him the previous day. He needed his coffee and if they were going to live together he might as well learn to use some muggle devices. Especially if it made getting his morning coffee easier and quicker.

He still hadn't managed to get his coffee when Hermione walked into the kitchen half an hour later, her hair ruffled from sleep.

She shot him one glance before taking a mug and explaining Draco how the machine worked. When his coffee finished Hermione made herself a hot chocolate and placed some milk and cereal on the table before sitting down opposite him.

"We are going to look at flats as soon as we are clean and dressed?" she asked and Draco nodded. They argued about what they absolutely needed in the new place over breakfast before finally agreeing on a few things.

Draco apparated to his place for a shower and a change of clothes, as it would be quicker if they didn't have to share a bathroom and soon enough they were ready to go.

As Draco had told Hermione earlier that he knew just the perfect person to find them a flat she let him apparate them both to a small office.

The secretary had looked surprised to see them and had protested when Draco told her that no, they didn't need an appointment, it was fine.

He marched past her and Hermione followed with an apologetic look to the secretary as Draco threw the huge door open and stopped in his tracks.

"You have to be fucking kidding me," he muttered and Hermione peaked over his shoulder, her mouth falling open.

Pansy was sitting on her table, looking at them with wide eyes over the shoulder of a red-haired man who was standing between her legs, one hand up her skirt as he looked at them in shock.

"Percy?" Hermione asked in disbelief, breaking the spell.

Immediately Percy let go and took a step back and Pansy jumped from the table, both frantically adjusting their clothes.

"What a surprise," Pansy muttered dryly, looking from Draco to Hermione. "What brings the two of you here?" she asked, crossing her arms over her chest.  
"We are looking for a flat," Draco replied matter-of-factly and Pansy quirked an eyebrow.

"You two?" she asked exchanging a quick glance with Percy. "That's… unexpected."  
"You are one to speak," Draco replied and motioned to Percy. "And no, we aren't dating so I would quite appreciate it if you didn't start any kind of gossip. Are you up to it or not?"  
Pansy rolled her eyes. "Fine. Fine." She turned to Percy. "I am sorry. I'll try to get rid of him as soon as possible and drop by at your place later. But I have to get this sorted first or Draco will annoy me for ages."  
"I can imagine that," Percy said without any malice in his voice. "You are supposed to be working anyway." He turned to Hermione. "I would appreciate it if you didn't mention this to anyone in the near future. We are not ready for people to know yet."  
Hermione smiled at him. "Don't worry. I won't tell anybody."  
Percy thanked her, kissed Pansy goodbye and left. As soon as the door closed Pansy walked around her desk and sat down, looking expectantly from Draco to Hermione.

"Tell me what exactly you are looking for so we can get this over with," she demanded so they told her and she pulled out a file, taking a few sheets of paper from it and slid them over to where Draco and Hermione sat.

They studied them and picked three they wanted to take a closer look at and Pansy immediately took them.

As soon as they arrived at the second flat Hermione was sure they wouldn't have to go to the third. She had fallen in love with the low ceiling and the visible timberwork. It was simply cosy.

When she told Draco, he smirked at her.

"I told you that I know just the right person to get us what we want," he said. "But I would like to get a look at the third place anyway."  
Hermione agreed and they went to see the third place but after a quick walk through it was clear that they would take the second flat. Hermione liked it too much for wanting to get a look at more and Draco just wanted to get over with the moving as soon as possible.

"I'll set up a contract and owl you," Pansy informed them and they said their goodbyes, apparating back to Hermione's flat.

"That was fast," Hermione said and let herself fall on the couch, looking around her living room.

"Already regretting it?" Draco asked carefully as he sat down next to her.

"No. I am just surprised."  
"That's what you are most surprised about?" Draco shot her a disbelieving look. "Really?"  
Hermione snorted. "No. But I try to erase that picture from my mind. It's weird to look at Ron's brother as a sexual being."  
"Now you know how I feel about the Weasel," Draco muttered and Hermione elbowed him lightly.

"What?" he asked.

"It's weird for me because all of Ron's brothers are like my brothers. I doubt Ron is like a brother to you."  
"Well, maybe one day he will be," Draco said as seriously as he managed and they both started laughing.

"What now?" Hermione asked when they calmed down. "It's just past noon."

"I don't know," Draco shrugged. "What do you feel like doing?"  
"Honestly?" Hermione sighed. "Crawl under a blanket and hide from the world."

"Are you alright?" Draco asked with worry and Hermione snorted.

"I don't even know how it feels to be alright anymore."  
Draco's jaw tensed. "Tell me how you feel," he demanded quietly.

"I-" she stopped. "It's hard to describe. Empty, hollow. It's an awful feeling and I just want it to go away. I want myself to go away!" Hermione ran both hands through her hair. "I feel like crawling out of my skin. Restless while at the same time exhausted."  
Draco put a hand on her back and started running it up and down her spine. He knew the feeling Hermione had described too well but he had no idea what to do about it. He felt helpless. He hated it.

"I know you said it would be better if we waited a few days but do you want to try again today?" Draco asked carefully. If that was what it took to make them both feel better then so it be.

Hermione looked at him. "What do you have in mind?" she asked.

"One of the crazier things you have suggested," Draco explained and Hermione went through the list in her head.

"There's only one that doesn't require further preparations," Hermione muttered under her breath before standing up abruptly. "Let's do it!"

Draco stood up as well and took her hand. "You or I?" he asked.

"Me. I have just the perfect place in mind," Hermione replied and closed her eyes as she took her wand into her hand. "Are you ready?"  
"Yes," Draco said and closed his eyes, waiting for the tug of apparation but it didn't come. He opened his eyes carefully just to find Hermione looking at him with wide eyes.

"What's wrong?" he asked as she let go of his hand.

"I can't do it," Hermione whispered.

"You can't do what?" Draco asked in confusion.

"I can't kill you," a tear slid down her cheek.

"Kill me?" Draco froze. "What are you talking about?"

"If I apparate both of us, I am going to kill you," Hermione whispered. "I can't do that."

Draco stepped closer and pulled her into a hug and Hermione sniffled.

"You wouldn't kill me," Draco whispered into her hair. "I am already dead."  
Hermione shook her head and he sighed. "We should let it be for today," he said.

"No!" Hermione pulled away. "Let's do it."

Draco's eyes narrowed. "And how if you refuse to apparate us?"  
"You apparate us," she said.

Draco's eyes widened as the nightmares sprung into his mind. If they survived they would become way worse – he would have tried to kill Hermione himself. Considering he already hated himself for not saving her back in the Manor. He couldn't even begin to fathom how bad it would get if he actually tried to do it himself. Besides, just the thought of doing it made him want to vomit. "No, no. I can't," he whispered, his voice breaking in the middle as he understood what Hermione had felt like just seconds ago.

"Then each of us has to apparate themselves," Hermione crossed her arms over her chest. "That means we need to imagine the exact same spot. Or don't you want to do it anymore?"  
"Tell me how we do that and I am in," Draco said without thinking.

"I have a picture in a book. That should work. A portkey would be better but those are too hard to obtain."  
Draco nodded and Hermione went to retrieve the book. When she returned, she had already found the page and they placed the book on the coffee table.

They both studied the picture for several minutes before Draco straightened. "On three?" he asked as he pulled out his wand.

Hermione stood up instead of answering and took her own wand.

She took a deep breath.

"One. Two. Three," they counted together before apparating away.

Three things stuck out to Hermione immediately: her eyes were burning, it was pitch dark and she was freezing. The fourth and fifth came soon after: she couldn't breathe – no surprise considering that she was at the bottom of the ocean – and she was floating, being dragged upwards, gaining speed with every inch on her way up.

Hermione felt more helpless than she ever had as the curse floated her upwards as she couldn't move or cry due to the pressure and cold. The only good thing about that was that she wasn't even able to move her fingers, meaning she still had a firm hold on her wand.

Then it stuck her. Where was Draco? Hermione really hoped that the only reason she hadn't seen him yet was the darkness and that he would be there as soon as there was some light.

She didn't have to wait long – her eyes that had become adjusted to the salt-water started burning again due to the sudden light as she was moving really fast by now, the curse clearly getting her up as fast as it could.

Finally, Hermione spotted Draco floating not too far away from her. She wanted to do something – move towards him or shout but she couldn't. So she simply watched as he floated alongside her.

Not a minute later Hermione felt her head break through the surface of the sea as she was pushed out of the water.

She gasped for air and greedily took several deep breaths while kicking with her legs to stay afloat and trying to not to lose her wand in the process.

As soon as she caught her breath Hermione's gaze found Draco.

"Apparate! My place!" she shouted, her voice hoarse.

"Got it!" Draco shouted back and disapparated, Hermione following soon after.

Hermione didn't manage to land on her feet and collapsed on her living room floor instead, shaking heavily. She was freezing.

From what she could tell, Draco wasn't doing much better next to the couch.

Hermione muttered several heating and drying charms, putting all of her strength into them. She wasn't exhausted or feeling really unwell. Her only problem was really the damn cold. It was more pleasant than her experience with the sleeping pills, if one could compare that, but she knew if she didn't get dry immediately she would become sick and then she would feel really bad.

She glanced to Draco and halted. He was stripping.

Of course. Hermione started to pull of her jacket immediately, cursing herself for not putting on a swimsuit beforehand. Or at least getting rid of some of the clothes.

The shirt and trousers followed. Hermione hesitated for a second before getting rid of her underwear as well. Nothing did matter, she thought as she glanced at the equally naked Draco.

"Bath," he said as he got up.

Hermione followed, not entirely sure what he had in mind, but understood as soon as she saw him letting warm water into her bathtub.

Both of them climbed in carefully, sitting face-to-face on the different ends of the bathtub just like they had not too long ago, the only difference being that this time they were indeed naked.

"Are you alright?" Draco asked, his teeth clattering.

Hermione nodded. Feeling was returning to her fingers as she held them into the swarm water.

"We can't fall asleep," he rasped.

"I know. Hell, this is so awkward," she said, running her hands over her arms to feel warmer.

Draco grinned at her weakly before splashing some water at her. "Why? Never seen a naked man before?"

"Usually I can enjoy it."  
"You hurt my feelings, Hermione," Draco drawled and used the showerhead to run the water over his head.

"I am glad that you are already feeling better," Hermione replied and leaned forward so Draco could let the water wash over her hair as well.

"Well, we could try other warming activities," Draco wiggled his eyebrows and Hermione rolled her eyes.

"I was talking about cuddling," Draco said and stood up, not even trying to cover himself up as he climbed out of the bathtub. He took two towels and offered one to Hermione. "We should dry our hair and get all the blankets in this place and hide underneath them."  
Hermione took the towel. "That may work," she said, still not feeling warm enough. She wasn't freezing but her bones felt cold.

"Good," Draco grinned as he walked out of the bathroom while drying himself up and got his wand. He charmed his hair dry before walking into Hermione's bedroom.

"Where are the blankets?" he shouted over his shoulder while Hermione dried her hair.

He threw them all onto her bed and climbed underneath just as Hermione walked into the room.

"Are you serious?" she asked.

"Yes? Why? This way it gets warm the fastest," Draco replied. "Now get in. I am cold."  
Hermione sighed and climbed underneath the blankets as well. Lying naked next to Malfoy wasn't nearly as awkward as sitting naked next to him in a bathtub while shivering like crazy. Not even as he pulled her closer.

 **This chapter's suicide attempt was inspired by JayBat's review saying "Now that we know it's not just a generic anti-suicide charm on one particular bridge, our pair needs to investigate exactly what is the nature of this magical force... Bridge jumping is out, apparently, and they don't want to leave bodies to be found. Apparating straight up 100 miles, that would do it..."**

 **Thank you again**


	10. Chapter 10

**Thank you so much for the feedback! You are awesome! Today there are a few extra notes:**

 **1) This is officially my longest fanfic and I am not even halfway through! Wuhuu!**

 **2) My awesome beta Nantai has published a dramione - Arbitrary Jurisdiction on . Chek it out, it's good!**

 **3) For my German readers: wie einige von euch wissen ist ja nächstes Wochenende die Leipziger Buchmesse. Falls jemand von euch hingeht und Lust hat sich mal vor Ort zu treffen und über Harry Potter & fanfiction zu plaudern meldet euch! Ich habe bei der MMC vor Ort schon einige coole Leute kennengelernt und denke, dass dies auch eine interessante Erfahrung sein könnte.**

For the first time in ages Draco slept through the night without having a nightmare or dreaming at all. No. That wasn't true. The last time he slept through was when they took the pills. There was a pattern.

Draco groaned and rolled onto his back, letting go of Hermione who grumbled in protest in her sleep at the loss of warmth.

"Get back here," she muttered. He had been wrong about her being asleep as it seemed.

"But-" Draco started but Hermione cut him off.

"Do me a favour and shut up. It will get only as awkward as you make it."

Draco stared at her back dumbfounded before obliging.

"Better," she whispered contently and wriggled in his arms to get herself even more comfortable.

Draco ignored her rubbing with her bum against his morning wood and concentrated on the obvious. "Never took you for a cuddler, Hermione," he said.

"I don't get much of any physical contact at all," Hermione replied. "Need to exploit it while I can."

Draco thought back to all the times she had casually touched him. "That's hard to believe."  
"Really?" Hermione glanced at him over her shoulder. "Who do you think can give it to me then? Ron? After our break-up? Harry who will freak out if somebody touches him when he didn't expect it? My parents who don't remember me? Molly Weasley who isn't really talking to me?"

"I am sorry," Draco whispered into her hair as he pulled her even closer. Hermione must have been even lonelier than he had thought and his heart ached for her. For the smart lonely girl he held in his arms.

"What do you want to do today?" Draco asked after a while and Hermione shrugged.  
"Still feeling like yesterday?" he continued.

"Yes," Hermione replied and Draco sighed. If he was honest with himself he didn't want to get out of bed either. It wasn't as bad as it could be, as he still could get out of bed if he forced himself, but he hated it nevertheless.

Hermione on the other side seemed to have one of the days where she wouldn't be able to get out of bed at all, judging by the way she was staring at the wall in front of her with an empty look.

Draco sighed again and closed his eyes. If it was going to be a day spend in bed so be it.

When he woke up again, Hermione was sitting on the bed with the covers pooling around her middle, his arm thrown around her and she was reading.

"Have you slept at all?" he asked, his voice still heavy with sleep. She didn't respond.

"Hermione?" he tried again. Nothing.

He sat up and pulled his arm away, finally getting her attention.

"Oh, you are awake," she said.

"I am," Draco confirmed, willing himself to look into her face and not at her naked body. She still hadn't dressed. "Have you slept at all since I was last awake?" he repeated his question.

"No."

Draco sighed. "What were you doing then?"

"Thinking, reading…" Hermione shrugged and returned to her book. "Just the usual."

"Why are you still naked?" Draco asked and Hermione shrugged again.

"Does it matter if I am dressed or not? You've already seen me naked."

Draco pinched the base of his nose. She would be the death of him. Unfortunately not literally. Just torturing him slowly till he got completely mad. Or at least even madder than he was now.

"But aren't you cold?" Draco asked. "You don't want to get sick, do you?"  
Hermione shrugged again and Draco wanted to scream. She wasn't paying him any attention. At the same time he asked himself if it was the way he was acting on bad days.

"Alright," he muttered. "We are going to take a shower and get dressed and afterwards I make us some breakfast."  
Hermione's eyes narrowed but she didn't look up from the book. "Stop talking to me like I am a child."  
"Stop acting like one."  
Hermione snapped the book shut. "I am not acting like a child! I just don't feel like doing anything at all and I would appreciate it if you let me be!"

Draco's jaw tensed. "I'll let you be if you shower, dress and eat. Afterwards you can stay the whole day in your bed for all I care but you need to do the basic things at least."  
"I am not hungry," Hermione declared and opened her book again but Draco snatched it away.

"You will eat. You never regained the weight you lost during the war! I guess it's because you don't eat when you feel down!"

"That's not any of your business!" Hermione snapped and tried to get her book back but Draco held it high over his head.

"It is my business!" Draco barked back.

"Oh really? Since when?" Hermione sat back and leaned against the head of her bed, her arms crossed over her chest.

"Since we became friends," Draco said and put the book down again. "Friends look out for each other, right?"  
Hermione didn't say anything but averted her gaze.

"Hermione, please. At least shower and clothes if you don't want to eat."

"You'll return my book?" Hermione asked.

"Yes. I'll let you read to your heart's content," Draco agreed and Hermione stood up.

He stared at the wall while she got herself some clothes and went into the bathroom before apparating to his flat to shower as well.

He was in a bad mood. Seeing Hermione like this didn't sit well with him. Sure, she was reading, but other than that she didn't seem to care. He decided to ask about it as he got dressed. It was quite weird.

When he returned to Hermione's flat, she was back in her bed, reading. But she was dressed and her hair was still damp.

"May I dry it?" Draco asked Hermione after he sat down on the edge of the bed. "It would be a pity if your book got wet."

"Do whatever you want," Hermione said as she turned the page.

Draco smirked and got to work. He didn't only dry her hair but he braided it as well, surprised how easy it was to manage if one knew what they were doing.

Happy with his works, Draco leaned back. "What are you even reading?" he asked.

"Fantasy novel," Hermione replied.

"Why are you even reading that?" Draco rose an eyebrow. "Aren't you already living in a kind of fantasy world for muggles?"

Hermione closed her book and turned to Draco. "Will you shut up if I answer your questions?"  
Draco nodded.

"Fine. I loved fantasy since I was a kid. Before I got my letter it was a way to come to a world where I seemed to belong. Where things I could do were normal. It was my escape when I was a child and it is my escape now."  
"So you read fantasy when you feel bad?" Draco asked.

"Yes."

Draco fell silent for a while and Hermione picked up her book again, but before she could open it Draco spoke up. "Would it help if I wrote such a story for you?" he asked quietly.

Hermione looked at him in surprise. "What?"

"I promised you that I would write a real novel. Would it do any good if I wrote fantasy for you?" he said, his cheeks turning a light pink.

Hermione bit her lip and studied Draco for a moment. "Why would you do that?" she asked.

Draco shrugged, averting his gaze. "I feel like I played a pretty big part in you not feeling welcome and like you didn't fit in in this fantasy world you fell into. And I am truly sorry about that."  
Hermione smiled sadly and took his hand. "If you feel like it's something you should do, write it. You can read it to me chapter by chapter."  
Draco smiled as well and lifted her hand to his mouth and kissed it lightly.

Hermione blushed and opened her book again. This time, Draco wasn't going to interrupt. Instead he stood up and made tea. He brought Hermione a cup before he apparated home to get his writing supplies. Usually he wanted to be alone when he was writing, but he didn't want to leave Hermione alone. Not that he was scared she would try anything – that really wasn't the issue considering what they had done just the previous evening. He just knew that it was somewhat reassuring and made you feel better if somebody was there so you could talk if you wanted, even if you didn't.

Draco took his pen and a new notebook, he had taken up those to not make his editor suspicious, and was about to apparate back to Hermione's flat when his eyes fell on a letter on his window sill.

He opened the window and scanned its contents. It was from Pansy, telling him that everything was settled and they should tell her when exactly they wanted to move in and get rid of their old flats.

Draco put the letter on his table and apparated. He would wait till Hermione finished her book before dealing with the issue. If he was lucky, he would get the rough draft of the first chapter done by then.

Draco took his tea and made himself a sandwich before sitting down on the couch. He wrote and wrote, occasionally taking a bite from his sandwich or a sip from his cold tea, not noticing the time flow by.

Draco startled when the television went on and looked around in confusion. It was already getting dark outside and Hermione was sitting next to him in an oversized sweater and shorts, a cup of hot chocolate in hand. He noticed a half-empty mug of tea next to his empty one and shot her a questioning look. She shrugged and took a sip from her chocolate.

"How late is it?" Draco asked and ran a hand through his hair.

"Six," Hermione replied. "You spend most of the day writing. Didn't even notice when I walked in and gave you more tea."  
"I am sorry," Draco said.

"Don't be. I enjoyed the silence. Finished the book and even the second part of the saga. It's good."  
Draco smiled. "Mine will be better."  
"I am looking forward to it," Hermione said and finally put the remote away, obviously happy with the film that was running before she turned to look at him. "If you want to continue writing I would recommend you to turn on the light."

Draco closed his notebook instead of replying and leaned back. "What are you watching?" he asked.

"Mulan. It's a cartoon and it's really good. My favourite actually," Hermione said with a smile. "It just started so if you shut up you might even get what it is about without me having to explain everything."  
They watched in silence until the first song started and Draco almost fell from the couch when Hermione started to sing along really off-key. It turned out she knew every single one of those songs by heart.

During the first commercial, Hermione got herself even more chocolate and some tea for Draco as he had refused chocolate and they ate some sandwiches.

During the second commercial, when Hermione stood up to get even more chocolate Draco wasn't able to suppress his curiosity anymore.

"How the hell can you drink so much of that?" he asked. "And why are you drinking it when tea exists?"  
Hermione stopped. "I like it. Do you really not want a cup?"

Draco shook his head viciously. "I like chocolate. But hot chocolate just sounds so wrong."  
Hermione shrugged. "It's delicious. And Professor Lupin always said that chocolate helps against dementors. I figured it might help when you feel like there are dementors around even if they aren't and it worked so I stuck to it. Now do you want any or not?"  
"Alright. I'll try it," Draco finally agreed.

"This is surprisingly good," Draco said just as another song started and Hermione was singing again. She really couldn't sing.

"I told you so," she said as soon as the song ended and grinned into her cup.

Draco rolled his eyes and returned his attention to the film.

When it finally finished, Hermione had her legs in Draco's lap.

"Was that really based on historical events?" he asked.

"Yes. Well, minus the talking dragon," Hermione confirmed.

"I gathered so much. After all, dragons can't talk," Draco said.

"And they aren't small and helpful either," Hermione added, thinking back to the Triwizard tournament.

"By the way," Draco started. "Pansy has sent me an owl. We can move in whenever we want and she'll sell our old flats for us if we want it."  
Hermione's eyes widened. "Fuck," she muttered. "I forgot about the notice period."  
"About what?" Draco looked at her in confusion.

"This flat is rented, Draco!" Hermione explained as she ran a hand through her hair. "I can't move out for another three months! How could I have forgotten that?!"  
"That's a stupid rule," Draco muttered. "Why would you even rent?"  
"Because I don't have the money to buy?" Hermione suggested weakly.

"That means it will be me who buys the new flat as well, right?" Draco asked. "Then there's no problem at all."  
Hermione looked at him like he was mad. "Excuse me?"  
"It's so much more convenient to buy a flat. I have the money and with Pansy it's easy. And there are no notice periods," he said the last part with disdain. "Meaning, you can move in the new flat with me and pay the rent for this place as there won't be any rent on the new one."  
"I don't want to be your charity case!" Hermione crossed her arms over her chest. "I won't live at your flat for free!"

"Then buy food or whatever," Draco shrugged. "I have the tendency to forget to do that anyway. The only things I have in my kitchen most of the time are Firewhiskey, coffee and juices as I hate water. I just want to move as long as I have the energy to do it."

"You can't be serious," Hermione said.

"Why? I never rent. My family still has about 15 estates but they are all in very inconvenient places. As I already told you, I have the money as my mother's Black inheritance hadn't been touched."

Hermione just shook her head. Draco was crazier than she had ever thought. "How much did you manage to write?" she asked.

"I am almost done with the first chapter. I need to go over it once again and then I think I'll be able to read it to you."


	11. Chapter 11

**As you can see, I have survived 4 days of convention (if something in this chapter doesn't make sense, blame it on that.)**

 **Anyway: the usual thanks to my beta Nantai and a huge thank you to all those who reviewed.**

 **I hope this chapter isn't too OOC for certain characters who show up and please tell me your opinion! As you know by now I live for reviews & comments. Enjoy**

Hermione walked into the living room and stopped instantly. She slowly turned around and glanced at the clock hanging above her bedroom door before turning back and walking the few steps to the sofa. She let herself fall down next to Draco, who didn't notice her.

"Have you slept at all?" she asked and Draco jumped slightly.

"Merlin. Why did you sneak up on me?" he asked and ran a hand through his hair.

"I didn't sneak up on you," Hermione crossed her arms over her chest. "But did you get any sleep?"  
Draco nodded and ran a hand through his hair again. "Yeah. But had another nightmare sometime around four and didn't feel like sleeping after it so I wrote."  
"You could have woken me up," Hermione said but Draco shook his head.

"You need your sleep. Besides, I managed to go over everything I wrote yesterday once again."  
Hermione nodded and tucked her feet under her.

"Why are you awake?" Draco asked. "It's still early."  
"Couldn't sleep," Hermione said, before yawning.

Draco shot her an unimpressed look but decided not to comment on it. Instead, he gathered the loose pieces of paper from the coffee table. "I could read this to you now, if you want to," he said.

Hermione nodded enthusiastically and snuggled into a blanket, making herself comfortable. Draco smiled at that and began to read.

"That was surprisingly good," Hermione said in awe.

"Surprisingly?" Draco rose and eyebrow. "You are doubting my writing skills?"  
Hermione laughed. "Of course. Besides, have you ever read a fantasy novel before?"  
Draco nodded. "I had to get at least a general idea about muggle literature before I tried to land a contract so I read through most of the famous stuff, including Tolkien. I believe he wrote fantasy?"

Hermione studied him for a moment. "You read through most of the famous stuff? What else did you read?"

"Narnia, Sherlock Holmes, Austen, Shakespeare of course, the muggle adaptation of Homer, Alice in Wonderland, several fairytale collections, Wilde, Dumas, Christie, a few biographies, history books and mythology books, Comics… I could go on forever," Draco shrugged nonchalantly as Hermione gaped at him.

"When did you have time to read all that?" she asked.

"As we waited for trial I wasn't allowed to leave the Manor as you know so I ordered books over books and read two or three a day since I had nothing better do to and felt like ignoring the reality," Draco explained.

"Why muggle books, though?"

Draco ran a hand through his hair. It seemed to be a nervous tick he had, but Hermione didn't complain. He looked way more human with tousled hair.

"Good question. It started with my mother giving me a Shakespeare collection and somehow I decided to go on with it since we weren't in danger for reading muggle literature anymore and I always enjoyed reading. Besides, those books took me as far away as possible from the horrors that had occurred in the wizarding world."

Hermione nodded in understanding. It made sense. Even though it was still a bit surprising to hear that Draco got his first muggle book from Narcissa as soon as the war ended. "How did your father react to you buying and reading muggle books?" she asked.

"Well…" Draco snickered. "When he heard that mother gave me Shakespeare he dumped a bunch of Zorro novels in my room and told me I had to read them before I bought anything else."  
"Zorro? Like the masked guy?" Hermione asked in disbelief.

"That one," Draco grinned. "The guy Batman is based on. Since that day, I have this picture of my father in a Batman costume stuck in my head and can't get rid of it."  
Hermione started laughing. "Maybe you should buy him a suit for Christmas," she suggested when she calmed down.

"Maybe I should," Draco said. "It's actually quite the idea. I always have trouble coming up with a present for him."  
Hermione groaned. "Now I am stuck with the image too!"

Draco patted her head affectionately before standing up and stretching. "Anyway, I would appreciate it if you gave me suggestions and critique on the novel."  
Hermione smiled up at him. "Of course. But I have to finally write an application for a job before I can do anything else."  
Draco smiled back at her, happy that she was really feeling better than the previous days.

"Well, while you do that, I am going home and shower. I'll get in contact with Pansy and get everything ready for the move. Would you be fine with moving tomorrow?" Draco asked.

"Tomorrow? What?" Hermione gaped. "Are you serious?"  
"As I've already said, I am not, my uncle was."  
Hermione glared at him.

"Alright. Yes, I was not kidding. Is that too soon for you? When would you want to move?" Draco sat back down.

Hermione contemplated that for a moment. "Actually, there's nothing that prevents us from moving tomorrow. Except that both of us haven't packed yet."  
"Magic?" Draco shrugged. "I can ask our house-elves for help if you feel like you won't be able to manage."  
"That won't be necessary," Hermione crossed her arms over her chest. "I'll manage just fine."  
Draco grinned. Sometimes it was too easy to make Hermione do what he wanted. He was sure she knew what he did there and was glad that she obliged so easily. He stood up again. "Great. I'll go and get everything ready. I recommend you to write a letter to your landlord while you are writing the application."  
Hermione rolled her eyes. "Seriously, stop treating me like a kid or I'll change my mind and stay here, without you."  
"I'm not treating you like a kid," Draco protested. "I just know that you get really absorbed in your tasks and forget or don't feel like doing some necessary things."  
"Says the guy who didn't notice me for two hours while writing," Hermione countered and Draco had the decency to blush.

"Now go," she shooed him away. "I want to get it done before I lose my motivation again."  
"Yes ma'am," Draco said and apparated away.

Soon enough he stood freshly showered and decently dressed in front of Pansy's desk.

"Sit down," she commanded and Draco obliged. He knew better than to fight her – especially if she was doing him a favour.

"So what exactly is the thing with you and Granger?" she asked.

"We are friends as I've already told you," Draco shrugged.

Pansy rose an eyebrow. "Is it really all?"  
"Yes."  
"So you really aren't acting on the crush you harboured for years?" Pansy leaned forward and popped her elbows on the desk.

"What?" Draco looked at her in bewilderment. "How do you know about that?"  
"Blaise and I had a bet on how long it would take you to start dating. When Voldemort came back we decided to drop the bet as the situation changed drastically but in fifth year we were sure that one day we would be invited to your wedding."

"Fuck you," Draco crossed his arms over his chest. "And there's nothing now. Yes, I had a crush on her in the past but now I just really want to be friends with her and nothing more. I am not ready to start dating again."  
Pansy sighed. "Still not over Astoria, huh?"

Draco shook his head. "This is not about being over Astoria. More like… I don't think I am ready to trust enough to be in a relationship again."  
"And yet you are moving in with Granger," Pansy pointed out.

"That's different," Draco sighed and let his shoulders fall. "Seriously, don't read too much into it."  
Pansy snorted. "I am not supposed to read too much into it? You refused to move in with both Blaise and Theo but you are moving in with Granger?"  
"I would have moved in with you, but you didn't want to. I told you I would rather live with a woman than a man. You don't snore and drink and constantly have company over like Blaise. Not that I blame him. It's just that I wouldn't want that in my flat."  
Pansy held up her hands. "Stop. You are rambling again, Draco."  
"Sorry," he ran a hand through his hair. "Can we get to the business part of my visit now? We are moving tomorrow."  
Pansy sighed. "But promise me to go out with me and the boys sometimes next week. We haven't spend time together for way too long. Bring Granger too. If you two haven't killed each other yet, we will get along just fine."  
Draco was about to refuse but decided to agree instead when Pansy stared at him. He could manage one evening.

They went over the papers once again and Draco signed the remaining contracts and checks and Pansy gave him the keys with the reminder to take down the wards from his previous flat upon moving out and setting the new ones in a way that she, Blaise and Theo could enter. They both knew that he wouldn't really go out if his friends didn't have access to his flat.

"But owl me before you drop by. I am not living alone anymore!" Draco said and Pansy waved him away.

He apparated back to Hermione's flat to find her sitting surrounded by papers.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"Going over the first chapter," Hermione replied without looking up. "And yes, I've already send both the application and the letter to my landlord."

Draco smiled and walked to stand behind her. He leaned down and dangled the keys in front of her nose. "Look what I got here," he practically purred.

"Yeah, the keys," Hermione muttered after a short glance up and returned her attention right back to the paper she was scribbling on with her red pen. "Don't worry, I've made copies."  
"I didn't worry. Considering that I wrote it into a notebook the papers were clearly copies. But why is there so much red?" Draco sat down next to her. "And why aren't you happier about the keys?"  
"You are using wizard slang and I am translating it so muggles can understand. And I am happy. But I am busy right now as you can see."

Draco rolled his eyes and set his chin on her shoulder, watching her correct things. "You have to explain those to me," he said.

"Sure."  
"Is it fine for you if I go to my flat now and pack?" Draco asked, realising that Hermione was once again absorbed in the task at hand and wouldn't talk to him.

"Go ahead," she said and looked up. "You can tell me about what went on with Pansy later."  
Draco smiled and apparated away.

But before he even started packing he sat down and wrote a letter to his parents. They would kill him if he didn't tell them he was moving. They wouldn't be too happy about him not coming in person but a letter was better than nothing.

He tied it to his owl's leg and started packing. Conjuring a few cartons and shrinking the furniture was an easy task and Draco managed to finish a room in twenty minutes.

He was packing his clothes that he wasn't going to shrink in trunks when he heard his name being called and he groaned.

"I'm in the closet, mother," he called and continued his task.

And soon enough Narcissa Malfoy walked into the closet, Draco's letter in hand, closely followed by Lucius.

"What is this?" She asked and waved the letter in front of Draco's face.

"I am moving," Draco shrugged.

"But why didn't you tell us sooner?" Narcissa crossed her arms over her chest. "We could have send you house-elves. Hell, we can do it right now!"  
"I would appreciate it if you didn't," Draco sighed and turned to face his mother. "I am glad that they are feeding my owl but Granger would kill me if she found out they helped with the move."  
"About that," Lucius spoke up for the first time since entering Draco's flat.

"Yes?" Draco stuck out his chin in a challenging manner.

"Is it serious between the two of you?" Lucius asked. "Because if it is, we would like to know before you introduce us to her."  
"Exactly! Why didn't you tell us you two were dating?" Narcissa glared at her son. "You deserve a smart nice woman after the fiasco with Astoria and Miss Granger is everything you could dream of!"  
Draco groaned. "Why does everybody assume that we are dating?"

"Because you had a crush on her," said Lucius at the same time as Narcissa said, "Because you are moving together," and Draco groaned again.

"Does everybody know about that crush I had? Is that why the Weasel is so quick to throw accusations?" he asked and threw his arms into the air in surrender.

Lucius snorted. "It must have been pretty obvious when even a Weasley caught on."  
Narcissa glared at her husband. "What did I tell you about talking like that?"  
Lucius glared back. "I have dropped all acts about blood-prejudice like we have agreed but my disdain for the Weasleys was never an act and I don't plan to hold back. The least in the privacy of my home."  
"This is not your home but Draco's," Narcissa said and Luciuss rolled his eyes, making Narcissa smack him on the arm with the letter she was still clutching.

Draco turned back to his packing, fully aware that his parents would make up in a few minutes. They never stayed angry at each other for long. Except that time he had been forced to get the Dark Mark and his mother had given his father the silent treatment for a week.

"But back to the point," Narcissa said. "Are you telling us there is nothing between you and Miss Granger? Are you sure?"  
Draco rolled his eyes and turned around again. "Yes, there is nothing and I am sure. And no, father, I don't have a crush on her anymore."  
"You are lying," Lucius and Narcissa said in union.

"You are fidgeting with your hands again," Lucius pointed out and Draco cursed inwardly. He hadn't been watching himself for too long and hat forgotten that his parents could read him like an open book. Besides, he still had the suspicion that his mother was a legilimens.

"Maybe I was lying about the crush. It came back," he replied sourly and Narcissa clapped her hands in delight.

"Good. She will be good for you. You have to bring Miss Granger to dinner sometimes."  
Lucius grinned at his son from behind Narcissa so she couldn't see it and Draco had to stop himself from rolling his eyes. He had inherited the habit from his father and his mother hated it.

"I will," Draco said with annoyance and Narcissa smiled brightly. "Very well. Are you sure you don't need help?" she asked and when Draco reassured her yet again she decided to let it be.

"We will be going then," she said and Draco pecked her on the cheek before saying goodbye to his father.

"Make sure to keep us updated! And don't forget about dinner!" Narcissa added before finally leaving an annoyed Draco behind to finish the packing.

One question bothered him all the time. Did Hermione know about the crush he used to have on her? Or currently had, he added reluctantly. And did the Weasel and Potter know?

Draco's mood had considerably worsened when he returned to Hermione's flat and let himself fall on the sofa.

"What's wrong?" she asked immediately and Draco sighed.

"My parents came by after I send them a letter about us moving together."  
"I can imagine they weren't too happy," Hermione muttered and put her arms around her legs.

"On the contrary. They were quite happy about us moving together and you are invited to dinner. It was more my mother being angry about me writing a letter instead of coming by. And of course they wanted to know if we were dating. Is it impossible for guys and girls to be friends? Why does everybody have to read into that?"

Hermione chuckled and patted him on the arm. "I am glad they are fine with us moving together."  
"As if my father would pass up on an opportunity to tease me," Draco sighed and leaned into her and Hermione put an arm around him.

 **I hope you are all stuck with the wonderful picture of Lucius in a Batsuit (draw it and you'll have my eternal love forever.) Seriously, it simply doesn't want to leave my mind**


	12. Chapter 12

**This chapter is a bit shorter than the average but I didn't want to include anything else. I hope it doesn't feel like too much of a transition chapter.**

 **Writing this reminded me of why I hate writing longer stories: I forget what happened and when and have to reread everything like 10 times x.x**

 **Thank you for the comments you guys are leaving. They are awesome. On another note, I've recently read something that just dragged on and I want to ask you to tell me if that ever happens with this story. Is the pacing alright? I want to develop their friendship before more happens. As usual, any kind of reviews and concrit are really appreciated.**

 **Btw: alongside other German stories I've started a little Deamus AU collection thingy in English. Check it out if you want :)**

 **As usually, thanks to Nantai for betaing**

Hermione woke up to an owl tapping on her window. She groaned and rolled out of bed to get the letter the animal was carrying. The sooner she got it, the sooner she could get back to sleep.

Hermione opened the window, took the letter and gave the owl a treat before closing the window again and walking back to her bed. She put the letter on her bedside table and lye down again.

She closed her eyes in an attempt to fall asleep again but gave up after half an hour as sleep wouldn't come.

Hermione stood up, took the letter and walked into her kitchen to get some tea and breakfast.

Draco was already sitting at the table, a steaming cup of coffee in front of him. "Morning," he said, stifling a yawn.

"Good morning," Hermione smiled at him and put the letter on the table before letting water boil for her tea.

"Who is it from?" Draco asked.

"I don't know. As you can see, I haven't opened it yet," Hermione shrugged and took the letter again, opening it this time. She skimmed over the contents as she waited for the water and groaned. "It's a reminder from Harry about the dinner I have with my friends," she explained to Draco who was looking at her curiously.

Hermione poured the hot water into a mug and sat down, Draco's eyes not leaving her for a second.

"What?" she asked when she couldn't take it anymore.

"There's something I've been wondering for a while," Draco started.

"Yes?"  
"Why didn't you get help? Or talk to any of your friends?" He didn't need to tell her what he was talking about, she understood.

Hermione sighed, staring into her tea. "I didn't want to bother them. They all have enough to deal with and I simply don't want to put another burden on them. I've told you already how every one of my friends is coping, right?"

Draco nodded.

"Well, none of us is really talking about their problems to each other. Let's take Ginny as an example. As I've already said, she over-shares. But only about her daily life, the most mundane things and gossip. Never about her feelings and problems. Thinking about it, most of us have been like this since Hogwarts, but it only grew worse after the war."  
Draco nodded in understanding. "But why didn't you get professional help? You can get it in the muggle world, right?"  
Hermione let out a low laugh. "Try explaining a muggle psychologist what happened during the war. You couldn't even tell them that you fought in a war because it wouldn't make sense to them. Meaning, they either couldn't help you because they wouldn't know what had caused the problems in the first place or you would get a permanent spot in an asylum if you tried explaining."  
Draco took a sip from his coffee. Hermione was right. One couldn't get help from muggles as the war never happened for them. "Sometimes the muggles are indeed far more advanced than wizards. We should learn from their health care and get things like psychologists and vaccines," he said and Hermione's eyes shot up.

While she was getting used to him not being opposed to muggle things and not looking down on them it was an entirely different thing to admit that they were superior in something.

"Why didn't you talk to your friends or family?" Hermione asked after a while.

"I don't want my parents to worry. I am protecting them just like I did during the war, only this time they don't know. And friends… I think for the same reason you didn't talk to yours. They have enough to deal with. The war wasn't easy for anybody."

Hermione hummed in agreement and drank her tea. "I bought some toast and stuff while you were away yesterday. Do you want to eat something for breakfast before we get into packing and moving?"  
Draco nodded and they ate their breakfast in relative silence, both occupied with their own thoughts.

When they finished, Hermione charmed the dishes to clean themselves and they both showered and dressed before Draco went to bring his stuff into the new flat and Hermione started packing hers.

Luckily, she hadn't acquired too many possessions and was done packing even before Draco came back.

He helped her bring the boxes into the new flat where his own were already waiting and they began to unpack, starting with their rooms before going into decorating those they were to use together.

"I fear my mother's reaction when she comes to visit," Draco said as he looked over the mismatched collection of furniture in their living room.

"Why?" Hermione asked. "I think it looks cosy."

Draco raised an eyebrow. "Cosy, yes. Aesthetically pleasant? No."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Oh, come on. It's not that bad."  
"It's just fine enough for me," Draco said and sat down on the sofa.

"Then why are you complaining?" Hermione questioned and sat down next to him, remote for the telly in hand.

"I am not complaining," Draco crossed his arms over his chest. "I'm just stating the obvious. I'm telling you, my mother won't be impressed."

Hermione ignored him, jumping up as soon as the telly lighted up.

He watched in bewilderment as she ran into her new room, mumbling something under her breath.

"Hermione?" he called after her as he heard a crash. "Everything alright?"  
"Yes, No!" she shouted back. "Dinner! I'm late!"  
That's when Draco remembered the letter. He grimaced and started switching through the channels until he found a somewhat decent show.

He stared at the screen, not really watching. Somehow he had hoped that Hermione would spend the first evening in their new flat with him and felt quite disappointed now, despite knowing that she had other plans for the evening. He cursed himself for forgetting.

"I'm leaving," Hermione called from the door and Draco grunted in response, lying down on the couch, cuddling a pillow.

When Hermione arrived at the Leaky Cauldron all of her friends were already there, chatting with each other happily.

Harry spotted her first, a smile appearing on his lips as he called out to her. Hermione smiled back as she approached the table and sat down between Harry and Luna.

"I am sorry I am late. I forgot the time."  
Ginny waved her apology away. "That's fine. Everybody is allowed to be late once in a while. But tell me, is it true that you are moving in with Malfoy?"

"It is," Hermione said calmly, "actually that's why I am late. We were moving today."  
"Why haven't you said anything?" Neville asked. "We would have helped."  
Hermione gave him a grateful smile. "Thank you, Neville. But we didn't want to bother anybody, especially as it went pretty quick with the help of magic. Decorating everything took the most time."

"Ooh. I really want to see your new flat! Even though you share it with Malfoy," Ginny said. "You should throw a house-warming party!"

Hermione was watching Ron out of the corner of her eye as he had been awfully quiet since she had arrived while Harry declared the party a good idea.

"It would be a good opportunity to see what became of the Slytherins," Luna mused aloud. "I wonder if there are still that many wrakspurts around them."

"I'll ask Draco," Hermione said and took a sip from her wine. A house-warming party wasn't actually that bad of an idea. If she planned it correctly, she would manage to merge three social calls into one. The less of them, the better.

"But seriously, if Malfoy even looks at you the wrong way, you have to tell us immediately," Ron spoke up.

"But until then, all of us will do their best to be civil," Harry chipped in, giving Ron a warning look.

Hermione tilted her head as Ron nodded sharply.

"I trust you and I think you know what you are doing. I don't have to like it," he said. "But if he does something, I'll be the first one to make him pay."

Hermione smiled. She knew that a promise of civility from all of her friends was already more than she could have wanted, especially as it seemed that Ron would try as well. He would be grumpy and make sure that she knew at all times that he didn't approve, but he would behave. It was a yast improvement.

"But enough of me," Hermione said. "Tell me how have you guys been."

And they did. For once, the talk didn't mostly revolve about Quidditch and Hermione listened to what was said and was a more active participant than she was used to.

They all asked more personal questions and Hermione suspected that they had realized that they barely knew each other by now thanks to Malfoy's sudden reappearance in their lives and Hermione's friendship with him.

They probably thought that Hermione and Draco had been friends for far longer than they actually were due to the fact that they were moving together and started to question how much they actually knew about the others daily life.

They bid their goodbyes and Hermione promised to owl them all about the party and if there would be one and apparated away.

When she entered their flat, Chinese take-away for Draco in hand, she found him lying on the couch in front of the telly just like she had left him three hours ago.

"Are you alright?" she asked softly as she sat down on the edge of the sofa and put the container with food on the coffee table.

Draco hummed in response but didn't move or look at her.

"Draco?" Hermione tried again, concern written all over her face.

"I'm fine," he muttered.

"Have you eaten?"

"Not hungry," was the response and Hermione sighed. It was obvious that Draco wasn't feeling well.

"Please talk to me. Did I do something wrong?"  
"No. Just let me sleep it away. I'll be better tomorrow."

Hermione stood up and left the room, only to return with blankets and a fork. "Move," she commanded and Draco pulled his legs closer to himself so Hermione could sit down. She threw a blanket over him before putting one around herself as well and put the food and the fork in front of him. "Eat."

Draco blinked at the food container as Hermione snatched the remote away and started switching though channels.  
"Hey, I was watching that," Draco complained half-heartedly and Hermione shot him an unimpressed look.  
"Really? Then what was it about?" she asked, fully aware that Draco hadn't been watching the reality show as he had repeatedly told her before that he thought they were stupid.

Draco didn't respond and Hermione nudged the food container even closer to him so it was now almost touching his nose.

"Eat," she repeated and put the remote away, setting on a romantic comedy. If Draco wasn't really watching she was going to exploit it and watch whatever crap she wanted.

"Do you still want to die?" Draco asked suddenly and Hermione's head snapped around to face him.

"Yes," she said without thinking. "Even though I am not sure if I could pull it through right now."  
Draco nodded and picked up the fork.

"Why are you asking?"

"You just seemed to be in an awfully good mood when you came from dinner," Draco muttered.

Hermione stared at him blankly.

"I just hoped that you were doing better," he added after a while.

Hermione gaped, but Draco ignored it.

"I've realized that while I am fine with wanting to die myself, I wish you would continue living. I want you to be happy," he looked at her. "That's what friends want for each other, right?"  
Hermione swallowed. "What does that mean?"

"Nothing. That's just how I feel. I am not going to impose anything on you or try to stop you from killing yourself. It's your life. Death. Whatever. It's just… I don't know. Fuck," he sat up and ran a hand through his hair. "This is why everybody tries to kill themselves with strangers in books and not with friends?"  
Hermione was at a real loss of words. She had realized that she didn't really want Draco to die either when they tried to apparate to the ground of the ocean, but had decided against sharing her thoughts. She wasn't going to talk him out of it or stop him so what use would it have besides the awkward conversation they were currently having?

Hermione took a deep breath. "I feel the same about you. But does it change anything?"

Draco shook his head. "I don't even know why I told you."

Hermione smiled at him and pulled him into a hug. "Don't fret over it," she said.

Draco hummed and stood up suddenly, just to return with a bottle of Firewhiskey. "We should celebrate," he said and drank before giving the bottle to Hermione.

"Go get the hangover potion while you are standing," she said as she took a bottle, deciding to play along.

"That reminds me that I still need to teach you how to brew it correctly," Hermione said when he returned and Draco rolled his eyes, snatching the bottle away.

"What are we watching anyway?"


	13. Chapter 13

**First of all: I am terribly sorry that there was no update last week. Life got involved and I spend all the time I was acutally home sleeping. I doubt it will happen anytime soon again sowe are back to weekly updates on Mondays. This chapter is longer than usual as my ways of apologizing.**

 **Thanks to my beta Nantai and thank you for the reviews and comments!**

 **But I have an announcement to make:**

 **My Sirius/Minerva fic Past, Present, and Future (you can find it listed on my profile) got nominated for the MischiedManagedAwards2017 run by the Shrieking Shack Society on fb in the category Best New Ship! You can vote from today till April 30th! Check out tumblr under the #MischiefManagedAwards2017 for details on the whole thing!**

 **In celebration of that, I am currently planning another Sirius/Minerva fic.**

 **Anyway, there will be more notes at the end of the chapter.**

Draco rolled onto his back. He had woken up several hours ago, drank the hangover potion but stayed in bed. While Hermione had managed to improve his mood the previous evening he was now feeling even worse than before. Maybe she was right and the potion needed some improvement?

He doubted it, really. It was not unusual for him to feel bad after a night of drinking even if somebody else brewed the potion.

Draco was pretty sure it was some kind of emotional exhaustion or something and that the only way to avoid it would be not drinking and socialising again, but he wasn't ready to give that up. Even though it meant he felt like dying the next morning.

Draco cursed himself. Why had he told Hermione about not wanting to see her die? Now she wouldn't want to try something out today. Even if he really needed it.

Draco sat up abruptly. Of course! If she didn't want him to die, he would do it without her. That way, he wouldn't have to see her die either. The perfect plan! And if it didn't work, what he was almost sure of, nothing would change.  
Draco rolled out of bed and stalked to the door before stopping to listen for any signs of Hermione being awake. As it was around five in the morning, he doubted that she had already woken up, but he wanted to be sure. When he didn't hear anything, Draco opened the door and cast a Silencio on the kitchen. He started rummaging through the shelves until he found what he was looking for: the meat knife.

Remembering the danger of blood clumping and closing the wounds, Draco took the biggest bowls he could find and filled them with water, before returning to his room with everything.

He sat down on his bed and placed the bowls next to himself, each on one side and took the knife.

Draco took a deep breath and made the first cut. He bit his lip to stop himself from crying out and took the knife into his other hand to make the second cut. His hands shook, but Draco didn't hesitate.

As soon as both were made, he let the knife fall on the bed and took a few deep breaths before placing his arms into the bowls.

Draco leaned against the wall and closed his eyes, hoping that he would lose consciousness quickly. He knew that he should have taken sleeping pills or a sleeping potion but he didn't feel like repeating the experience they had had with the pills.

Hermione woke up to the sun shining through her window and straight into her face. She blinked a few times, confused as to where she was. She was lying in her bed and was surrounded by her things, but something was off.

Then it hit her: they had moved the previous day.

Hermione sat up and groaned, her pounding head reminding her of the Firewhiskey she had drunk with Draco. She drank the hangover potion quickly and sighed in content as the pain disappeared, leaving only a light cloudiness behind. But that was nothing that couldn't be solved by a shower.

Hermione stood up and grabbed her things before walking into the bathroom and taking a hot, long shower.

When Hermione left the bathroom she was indeed feeling better. She made her way into the kitchen and set the kettle for tea. When she checked the time, her brows furrowed. It was already half past ten and she hadn't seen or heard Draco yet, which was more than unusual as he was usually awake before her and at an earlier hour.

Hermione decided to check on him, worried that he might be feeling sick after the previous night of drinking, and knocked on his door. She got no response. She knocked again, louder, but nothing again.

Hermione sighed and opened the door, ready to give Draco a piece of mind about his drinking habits but the words died on her lips at the sight in front of her.

Hermione rushed to the extremely pale Draco, tears clouding her vision. She tried to locate the pulse and only when she felt it, even though extremely weak, she allowed herself to breathe. Even though she technically knew that the curse prevented them from killing themselves, finding Draco like this scared her out of her mind.

She didn't know what to do – or to feel for that matter. He wanted to die. She had tried to kill herself together with him on several occasions. This time he had tried it without her. And the blood was still flowing, Hermione realized. If she didn't heal him, he would die. It was a miracle he was still alive as it was, probably the work of the curse, as he would have bled out rather quickly without it. The curse hadn't stopped the blood-flow though, only slowed it. That meant, Draco would have died, if she hadn't found him in time.

Hermione took a few calming breaths before she took Draco's wand from his bedside table and carefully took one arm from a bowl and healed the cut before doing the same with the other.

Sure that he wasn't losing any more blood, Hermione jumped up and sprinted into her room, where she got a blood replenishing potion from the bag she hadn't unpacked since the Horcrux hunt.

Back in Draco's room, Hermione held his nose closed and made him drink the potion before she removed the bowls and knife from his bed and moved him into a lying position.

She watched his breathing for a short while, making sure it wasn't getting shallower, before taking the bowls and knife and emptying their contents into the loo before vanishing them. She didn't want to see them ever again.

Hermione walked to Draco's liquor cabinet and took out a bottle of Firewhiskey. She needed a drink, badly. She drank straight from the bottle, returning it into the cabinet considerably emptier than it was before some time later.

Feeling a bit calmer, Hermione took a book and sat down on a chair next to Draco's bed, as she somehow didn't feel like he shouldn't wake up alone. She opened the book, but she didn't really read, the discovery she made earlier pushing to the front of her mind.

The curse only protected them when they were together. They could kill themselves separately. Hermione pinched her nose. That made quite a lot sense, explaining why they hadn't been able to find anything in the books. She assumed, that people who failed to kill themselves once, gave up, especially if they tried it with somebody else. But those who hadn't even tried it with anybody else, wouldn't be protected, not even noticing the curse.

If somebody walked to the lantern and met another person there, they would either jump together or both leave, killing themselves somewhere else, truly making it a place with no suicides and no witnesses for the curse. Whoever cast the spell was truly brilliant.

Hermione leaned back in her chair and tried to focus on the book in front of her again, when she heard Draco's voice. "Hermione," he whispered.

"Yes?" she snapped her book shut and crouched down next to the bed to be on eye-level with him.

"What happened?" he asked.

"You slit your wrists," Hermione replied, her voice unnaturally high. She was almost crying again. Hermione cursed herself, Draco, the situation, her life, Draco, herself, Voldemort and Draco again.

"And the curse prevented me from dying again?"

Hermione pressed her lips shut and nodded.

Draco sighed. "Well, at least I am not feeling as bad as I did the last times."  
"I gave you a blood replenishing potion," Hermione explained. "Your wounds were already closed but you looked incredibly pale and had a weak pulse."  
Draco smiled weakly at her. "Thank you."

Hermione returned his smile and stood up. "Do you need anything? Water? Tea?"

"Aren't you going to ask questions?" Draco asked as he popped himself on one elbow.

"When you feel better," Hermione said and opened his door.

"Could you stay?" Draco asked hopefully from his bed and Hermione bit her lip.

"Give me a moment," she said and slipped out of the door and straight to the liquor cabinet where she took another swig from the Firewhiskey. She had figured out how the curse worked. She had lied to Draco. Draco, who had tried to kill himself without her. The one she had cried for. She knew how she could kill herself. But she had saved him. Hermione wished away the tears that were suddenly running down her cheeks. It was too much. Everything was too much. She wanted to escape, but suddenly, killing herself didn't seem like the best solution anymore.

Hermione quickly checked her face to make sure that Draco couldn't see she had been crying and walked back into his room, where she sat down on the edge of his bed and took his hand and took a closer look at the thin scars that were now on his wrists.

"Let me take care of them," she mumbled, quite impressed how well she had healed him in her state of panic. It seemed that the war had been good for something at least.

"Thank you," Draco mumbled.

"Go to sleep," Hermione commanded, hearing how tired he was, and took his other hand.

"Don't want to," he whispered. "The nightmares will come if I do. They did before and I couldn't even scream. That hadn't happened when I tried to kill myself together with you."

Hermione squeezed his hand, not sure what to say. What could the curse actually do?

They kept silent for a long while and Draco eventually fell asleep again. Hermione waited several minutes before she finally stood up and left the room so she could get some Firewhiskey and curl up on the sofa with yet another Fantasy novel.

Hermione woke up to arms slipping under her body in an attempt to lift her and screamed, causing the other person to wince audibly.

"For fuck's sake, calm down! It's me!" Draco hissed and pulled back.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Hermione shrieked as she sat up and the book she had been reading before she fell asleep slipped on the floor.

"I wanted to carry you to bed," Draco said and ran a hand through his hair.

"I don't even know where to start! You should still be in bed and not carry anybody anywhere!" Hermione crossed her arms over her chest. "Not to mention this morning! You scared me half to death!"  
Draco sat down on the floor in front of Hermione and took her hands. "Look, I am sorry that I haven't asked you to try something with me, but I didn't think you would want us to try again. Besides, I didn't even really believe it would work," he added in defeat.

Hermione averted her eyes, fighting the tears that threatened to spill once again. "It's alright."  
"No, it isn't," Draco said. "You were crying earlier and you are at the verge of crying now. I am really sorry I hurt you."  
Hermione closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths before she trusted herself to speak again. "It wouldn't be the first time, so don't worry about it. I am a grown up and can deal with it."  
"But it's the first time since we became friends," Draco whispered and Hermione turned to look at him. "I really don't want to cause you any harm or grief," he continued. "And therefore I think we should look for other ways to deal with everything until we find a way to defy the curse."

"What do you have in mind?"

Draco shrugged. "Excessive drinking doesn't work as we've already established and after our experience with the pills I am not too keen on other drugs. Maybe screaming on things? Fighting?"  
"Have you seen Fight Club recently?" Hermione asked and Draco's confused look told her that he hadn't.

"Never mind," she said. "Do you have any other ideas?"

"Not really," Draco confessed. "I made that up on the spot. Do you? I am sure you've read quite a lot about mental health."

Hermione grimaced at the assumption. Why did everybody think that she had read about every possible topic on earth? "Not really. In movies and books the people usually revert to some self-destructive behaviour like the drugs you mentioned."  
"What else?" Draco asked with interest. While he had read quite a few muggle books, most were classics and rather famous, therefore not really dealing with this kind of issue too much. And he really didn't have a clue about films.

"A lot sleep around," Hermione mused, her finger on her chin. "Or destroy property, steal and other criminal activities."  
"Seriously, killing oneself seems rather healthy compared to those things," Draco muttered in annoyance. "Do people really do that?"  
"I don't know," Hermione shrugged. "That's what happens in shows and books. But I don't think I want to do any of that if everything is as self-destructing."

"Not even sleeping around?" Draco grinned at her and Hermione was inclined to hex his balls of.

"No. Do you?" she asked instead.

Draco laughed and shook his head. "You are the first one in a long time that I would be willing to shag if the situation wasn't so complicated."  
Hermione raised an eyebrow. "Elaborate."

Draco leaned against the coffee table so he could see her better. "What is there to elaborate? I want to kill myself and the last thing I need is some chick pinning after me. I would probably be a real jerk to any girl I would have a thing with and she would still be pinning after me and the media would catch wind of it and maybe everything else and I seriously don't need that so I stay away from girls. With you it would be easier as you know what's up with me so my fear doesn't play a role. But everything else would make it a real mess."

Hermione nodded, her feelings getting crazy once again, leaving her confused as of what she was actually feeling.

"But how about you? Why don't you want to do it?" Draco's question caught Hermione off-guard and she blushed.

"It's complicated."  
"Humour me," Draco smiled at her and Hermione bit her lip.

"Alright. But you are not going to laugh at me or tell anybody or I'll make sure you are the last Malfoy to ever live, understood?" she asked seriously and Draco nodded, dumb-folded.

"I don't really like sex."  
"What?" Draco blurted out, looking at her with wide eyes.

"I don't really like sex, or feel sexual attraction for that matter," Hermione repeated with a glare. "And yes, I am aware that I am fulfilling every cliché about the studious prude ever."  
"You are not a studious prude," Draco said. "Why would you even think that?"  
Hermione looked away and it hit Draco.

"That's why you really broke up with Weasley, isn't it? It wasn't just the whole stay-at-home-mother-thing! You could have talked him out of that one! No, he didn't understand why you didn't want to have sex with him."

"I have slept with him," Hermione crossed her arms over her chest. "But not nearly as often as he would have liked and he was constantly reminding me of it. I simply snapped."

"And you lie to everybody about the true reasons because you are ashamed?"

"I lie about it all the time because nobody would understand. Seriously, I tried talking about it with a few girls but they all told me that it's just because I had been unlucky with my men! And I've slept with Victor, Harry, Ron and Zabini! I seriously doubt that all of them could be classified as bad in bed! Ginny is quite content with Harry and Zabini had wooed more than enough women!"

Draco gaped at Hermione. "You slept with Victor Krum, Potter and Blaise? Are you kidding me? Why hadn't he told me about it?!"

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Yes, I have. And because it was a few weeks after Ron and I broke up and I've told him that it was better if he kept it to himself if he didn't want a scene."

Draco chuckled. "Why do you even sleep with men if you don't like it?"  
"It's not that I hate it," Hermione sighed. "More like I am bored. I don't need it, I don't seek it out and I do it rather rarely for one reason or other. I don't want to get into detail."  
Draco nodded. "One last question, if you allow?"

"Yes?"  
"Are you going to try for children one day?" Draco asked in interest, causing Hermione to laugh.

"Considering our goal it's a rather stupid question to ask. But yes, I would be willing to have sex to try for children. Once in a while I wouldn't have a problem sleeping with my partner if I have one, but I wouldn't want sex on a regular basis. You can think that I am sick if you want, but I am fine with it."

Draco climbed onto the sofa next to Hermione and pulled her into a hug. "You aren't sick. And it doesn't make you any less lovable. If Weasley ever says something about this to you again I am going to beat his face in." Draco muttered. "Maybe the fight club is really the way to go."  
Hermione giggled into his shoulder and Draco kissed her hair, his arms still wrapped around her protectively.

"But what are we going to do now?" Hermione asked.

"I have no idea."

 **Yes, I decided to make Hermione asexual here. No, Draco won't miraculously change her opinion on sex. Yes, this will still be a romance. There can be love without sex. No, I won't write a sex scene (at least not in this fic. I really don't think it would fit in)**

 **I included this part because there have been a few people asking about it. I am sorry if I disappointed any of you, but I stand with my decission.**

 **I would be really happy if you guys told be your opinion on this chapter and reviewed/commented. Concrit is appreciated as always.**

 **Thank you**


	14. Chapter 14

**IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **This fic has already hit over 50 reviews on ff and almost 40 on ao3. I want to celebrate that and therefore I decided to do something as a REWARD for you guys, the readers and reviewers in the form of a little experiment.**

 **\- the person who leaves the most reviews overall and the person who leaves the most reviews from Ch 14-end will get a** **2k+ one-shot with whatever ship and prompt they want!** **(though I reserve the right to ask for something different if the first choice makes me really uncomfortable) This goes for each platform I post this on, so there will be 4 winners! Unfortunately, I have to exclude guest accounts bc I couldn't contact you/ make sure you are the same person.**

 **The winners will be announced exactly one week after the Epilogue is posted (but idk how long this gets)**

 **I hope you guys like this idea**

 **Thanks to my beta Nantai and please enjoy and review ;) Concrit is always appreciated.**

Hermione stared at the letter in front of her for what felt like eternity when Draco finally decided to speak up.

"Open it," he said. "You won't change its contents by staring at it, no matter what is inside."  
Hermione glared at him but finally set to open the letter she had received from the law-firm she had written to.

She squeaked when she finished it, clasping her hands in front of her mouth. "They want me!" she laughed, still not quite believing it. "They want me."  
Draco chuckled at that. "You are the brightest witch of our age. Of course they want you! You have to believe in yourself a bit more. And congratulations, Hermione. I am really happy for you."

"Thank you," Hermione said and jumped up from her chair and pulled a rather surprised, still sitting, Draco in a really awkward hug.

"I am sorry," she mumbled, red as a tomato, when she let go. While hugs had gotten quite normal for them at this point, this one had been weird to say the least.

"Don't be," Draco stood up as well and took her hand. "It's really great that you have gotten the job! They haven't even bothered to invite you for an interview, right?"  
Hermione's brows furrowed and she took the letter with her free hand and read through it once again. "No, they really haven't. What do they think they are doing? They are a law film and don't even bother to follow the laws!" she fumed.

Draco laughed at that. "This job will be perfect for you," he said. "And they simply wanted to save time and energy since they know how good you are. While your job was dull, you managed to pass a few laws at the beginning of it, so it's clear you know how the system works."  
Hermione grumbled at that and Draco pulled her into another hug, before kissing her temple. "You will be amazing," he whispered, not really noticing how Hermione turned red again.

"Thanks," she mumbled and leaned her head against his shoulder in the hope of hiding her blush.

"When are you starting?" Draco asked when they pulled apart.

"Monday," Hermione replied with a smile on her lips.

"Great. That means you are free to have dinner with my parents tomorrow?" Draco asked and leaned against the kitchen counter.

Hermione's stomach was in knots, but she nodded. Even if she didn't want to admit it, she still wasn't too happy at the thought of having to visit the manor. It must have showed on her face, because Draco spoke up again. "How do you feel about Japanese food? My mother wanted to try sushi for a long time and I've heard about an amazing restaurant that opened recently."

"Japanese sounds amazing," Hermione answered with relief and Draco smiled at her.

"Great, I'll write them."  
"Draco, wait," Hermione caught his arm as he set to turn around and leave the kitchen. "There's something else we have to talk about."  
"Yes?" he asked.

"My friends asked if we are going to throw a house-warming party," Hermione sighed. "I'm not too keen on it, but that way we might bury the hatchet forever and with our friends occasionally dropping by it sounds like the best solution."

Draco ran a hand through his hair. He wasn't too keen on it either, but Hermione had a point. "Alright," he sighed. "We should throw a party. But we aren't going to invite too many people."  
"Of course not," Hermione agreed quickly. "Only those we absolutely have to."

"Great. Do you have any suggestions about when we should throw the party?"

"Next Saturday?" Hermione shrugged helplessly. Most of the time, she did everything she could to avoid throwing parties. On her birthday, if she celebrated it, she only went out and had dinner with her friends. Sometimes, not even that.

"Fine with me. It's not like my calendar is full," Draco muttered. "I have a meeting with my editor on Tuesday, though. So don't be surprised if I'm away when you come back."  
Hermione nodded. "I guess I can write a guest list and start with the invitations?"

"Good idea," Draco agreed. "I'll arrange everything for tomorrow in the meantime."  
And like that, they set out to their respective tasks. Soon enough, Draco came over into Hermione's room and told her, that they were to be at the restaurant at seven and wrote down his own list of guests. When they finally agreed who was to come and who wasn't, Draco wasn't too happy about the amount of Weasley's Hermione wanted to invite, while Hermione didn't really want Goyle there, they wrote the invitations and send them out.

"I'm hungry," Draco muttered. "Let's get something to eat."  
"How about we go shopping and cook?" Hermione suggested, fully aware that Draco wouldn't be too happy about it. And just as she had predicted, he pulled a face.

"How about no?" he asked. "We should celebrate that you got the job!"  
"The dinner tomorrow is enough of a celebration," Hermione crossed her arms over her chest.

"Whatever," Draco muttered, making no indication to stand up and actually go shopping.  
"Well, I can go alone," Hermione said with a smile. "But you won't have a say in what we eat if you don't come along."

"It's not like I can cook," Draco ran a hand through his hair. "So it doesn't matter either way."  
Hermione rolled her eyes and stood up. "I hope you are fine with spaghetti."

Draco didn't respond and they had spaghetti for lunch, before Draco sat down to finish his draft for his editor and Hermione went to Flourish and Botts to buy some books on law so she would be prepared for Monday.

Like that, time passed quite quickly and soon it was dinner time and they ate the leftover spaghetti before they ended up on the couch and watched "10 things I hate about you" after a short fight about the TV program. Unfortunately for Draco, Hermione really liked Heath Ledger and wouldn't back down even though she had seen the film twice before.

ooo

On Friday, Hermione woke up feeling nervous. She didn't know why, but she feared the dinner with the Malfoys even though she had no reason to – after all, Draco said they wanted to meet her and even if they didn't approve of her, she had nothing to lose. After all, she wasn't Draco's girlfriend or anything similar.

She walked into the kitchen, where Draco was already sitting at the table and writing, an empty cup of coffee next to him, and made some tea before she sat down as well.

As expected, he didn't notice her and Hermione watched him quietly, noticing how his brows were furrowed as he wrote and how he bit his lip when he stopped to think before he scribbled down another paragraph with renewed vigour.

When Draco finally noticed her, Hermione had already finished her tea. "Why didn't you say anything?" he asked and Hermione shrugged.

"Didn't want to disturb your pace. Is it a children's story or the novel?"

"Children's story," Draco said and lifted the cup to his lips only to scowl at it when he noticed that it was empty. "I need to finish it before the meeting."  
Hermione nodded and they fell silent.

"So, what kind of restaurant are we going to?" Hermione broke the silence, not looking at Draco and toying with her cup instead. "You said Japanese, but what am I supposed to wear?"

Draco contemplated that for a moment. "A knee-length dress, I think. No robes though, as it is a muggle restaurant."  
Hermione gaped at him. "A muggle restaurant? Your parents would go to a muggle restaurant?"

Draco laughed at her expression. "Is it that shocking that they eat at a muggle place if they read muggle books?" he asked, and Hermione blushed.

"No, it isn't," she admitted. "It seems I still haven't gotten used to the idea... well..."

"That we aren't prejudiced assholes?" Draco asked bluntly.

"Kinda," Hermione nodded.

"Well, can't blame you for that," Draco smiled at her and she smiled back.

"Short dress it is," she said and stood up, leaving Draco to finish writing in peace.

Ooo

If she had felt nervous in the morning, then Hermione was practically panicking when she tried to choose a dress for the dinner. She hated herself for trying to make a good first impression on the Malfoys, even though it technically wasn't the first impression they would get of her, but she couldn't help it.

Luckily, in contrary to what most people believed, she knew how to dress if she wanted to, the Yule Ball being the proof for it. She just didn't bother most of the time, as it meant spending over an hour in front of her wardrobe, throwing things she didn't consider appropriate for the occasion over her head before spending another hour in a desperate attempt to get her winged eyeliner to look the same on both eyes. It was madness and Hermione would rather kill herself than do it on a regular basis, but for whatever mad reason she had decided to do it for the Malfoys.

Finally, she chose a simple short black dress with long sleeves and did her make-up and hair.

When Draco called out to her that they had to leave or they would be late, Hermione muttered a quick spell that made the clothes she had thrown all around the room fly back into the closet and walked out into the living room,

When Draco saw her, his eyebrows furrowed and Hermione tugged at the sleeves of her dress self-consciously.

"Is something wrong?" Hermione asked and Draco shook his head numbly.

Hermione had caught him by surprise and he didn't know how to act now. He had admitted that he thought she was attractive when she looked terrible, but now she was simply gorgeous.

Hermione shot him a sceptical look and put on her heels and a jacket, before walking over to him.

"Well, can we go?" Draco smiled at her as he offered her his arm to apparate them.

Hermione took his arm and soon they were standing in an alley somewhere in muggle London.

"This way," Draco lead her around a corner and to a rather modern looking Japanese restaurant called Sakura.

Before the waitress could even ask them about their reservations, Draco smiled at her and pointed to the back of the restaurant and at Lucius' unmistakable platinum blonde hair. "My parents are already here, thank you."  
The waitress nodded and led them to the table.

The older Malfoy's stood up to greet them immediately when they saw them approach.

"I am glad you could make it," Narcissa kissed Draco on the cheek and he suppressed the urge to roll his eyes as he went on to shake his father's hand.

Hermione watched quietly, not sure what to do and waited till the family greeted each other.

"I am glad to finally meet you officially," Narcissa smiled at her and extended her hand and Hermione took it without hesitation.

"Nice to meet you too," she returned her smile, hoping that she was behaving according to whatever etiquette the purebloods followed.

"Relax, darling," Narcissa winked at her. "This is just a nice dinner."  
Hermione nodded and shook Lucius' hand before sitting down on the chair Draco pulled out for her.

They got their menus and Narcissa looked around the table. "Does anybody have an idea what any of this means?" she asked. "While I am excited to try something new, I would like to know what I am ordering nevertheless."  
Lucius shook his head and Draco shrugged in response, all heads turning to look at Hermione.

"I've eaten sushi before," she said and proceeded to answer all of Narcissa's more-or-less ridiculous questions. At some point, Hermione was pretty sure, that Narcissa was doing it to make her more comfortable around them by acting like any other adult who hadn't eaten sushi before would. Or like she though those people acted like.

"Oh, great," Narcissa finally clapped her hands together in delight. "I know what I want to order."  
Lucius cracked an eyebrow at that and Draco shot Hermione an encouraging smile. He knew that his mother could be special.

"So, how did you two meet?" Lucius asked after they ordered.

Hermione shot Draco a questioning look, but he only rolled his eyes and his mother smacked him lightly on the arm.  
"I told you to not do that," she said.  
"I believe it was appropriate in this very situation, considering father knows pretty well Hermione and I were in the same year at Hogwarts," Draco replied.

"But you certainly weren't friends," Lucius glared at his son. "And I am quite interested in how you managed to become friends with such a marvellous young lady when you never leave your flat."  
"It's simple: I left my flat for once and we ran into each other and started talking," Draco explained, glaring back at his father.

It seemed, Narcissa decided to ignore them both and turned to Hermione. "Tell me about yourself," she said. "You disappeared from the papers almost completely and I have admit that I am curious what such a smart lady does with her time."  
"I've just signed up for lawyer-training," Hermione said and Narcissa's eyes lit up.

"Oh, that's great! When I was young, I wanted to become a lawyer too!"

"Really? Why didn't you become one?" Hermione found herself leaning closer to Narcissa, her own curiosity getting the better of her.

"It's not something young a lady from pureblood families could pursue," Narcissa sighed.

"You could still try it out now," Hermione said earnestly and Narcissa started to giggle.

"You are such a delight!" she said. "I am way too old for that and besides I lack the time as I am busy running the company."  
"Excuse me?" Hermione looked at her confusion.

"Cissy started a cosmetic company shortly after the war," Lucius explained, obviously done arguing with Draco. "You have probably not heard about it, because it's muggle."  
Hermione blinked a few times, not entirely sure if she wasn't hallucinating. "A muggle company?" she asked dumbly.

"It's called Black cosmetics," Narcissa said proudly and Hermione was pretty sure she had ended up in an alternate reality. She had heard about the company before and couldn't believe it was led by Narcissa bloody Malfoy, even though it made quite some sense considering her maiden name was Black.

"Wow, that's amazing," Hermione said, truly impressed.

"Thank you," Narcissa smiled at her and the food arrived. It was a delight to watch Narcissa and Lucius try and eat with chopsticks. Naecissa grinned proudly like a child when she finally managed to eat a piece of maki without it falling down and laughed at Lucius when he splashed soy sauce all over himself.

He made a face at her and refused to refill her glass with sake, making her pout until Hermione took pity on her and refilled it.

Hermione was surprised how much fun she had during the meal and how normal and human the older Malfoys seemed. They were just like any other too rich family.

"Oh come on, mum," Draco whined when his mother expertly stole his last avocado maki.

Narcissa rose an eyebrow at him, as if challenging him, and popped the piece of sushi into her mouth, making Lucius chuckle.

"This was delicious," Narcissa said when she finished chewing. "We should come here more often. And you," she looked at Hermione, "are of course invited as well."  
Hermione thanked her and they ordered dessert.

"Do you have a boyfriend?" Lucius asked and Hermione chocked on her chocolate ice-cream.

"I don't," she said and a sparkle appeared in Lucius' eyes.

"How is it possible that such a fine young lady like yourself isn't taken?" he asked without a hint of malice or sarcasm in his voice. "Are the men around you blind and deaf?"  
Hermione blushed at that. "I don't know," she said diplomatically and Lucius rose an eyebrow.

"How about our Draco, then?" He asked and Hermione felt all the blood rush to her head. A quick glance at Draco told her he wasn't doing any better, red as a tomato himself.

"Father," he growled but Lucius ignored him to Narcissa's delight.

"I think you two would make a wonderful couple, smart as you both are."  
"And just imagine the children," Narcissa swooned and Draco turned even redder than before.

"Mother," he hissed and Narcissa winked at him, causing him to sit back and cross his arms over his chest.

"I am sorry but I don't think I want a relationship right now and this doesn't concern anybody but me and Draco," Hermione said slowly and Narcissa smiled at her warmly.

"Oh, don't worry. It's just our duty as parents to embarrass Draco," she said. "Next time, I'll definitely bring his baby-pictures along." She ignored his "No, you won't," and continued. "But I do really think that you two would make a wonderful couple."


	15. Chapter 15

**Thanks for the reviews :)**

 **And thanks to Nantai for betaing**

"Once again, I am so sorry about my parents," Draco said as he strolled into the kitchen where Hermione was sitting at the table, drinking her coffee and reading one of her new law books. "I can't even begin to fanthom why they made those comments about us."

"It's fine, really," Hermione looked up from her book. "I actually believe your mother, if she says that they wanted to embarrass you."  
"I don't," Draco sighed. "I am pretty sure they were bloody serious about wanting us to date. I can't even blame them though, you were really gorgeous yesterday."  
Hermione blushed. "Thank you."  
"Always," Draco winked at her.

"How far are you with your story?"

Draco shrugged. "Almost finished. But I'll probably rewrite half of it five minutes before the meeting anyway," he grinned.

Hermione shook her head, smiling. "I guess that's how you wrote your essays back at Hogwarts?"

Draco laughed. "Indeed. Well, except for sixth and seventh year and my marks dropped accordingly."  
Hermione nodded sympathetically. "Can't blame you for that. Sixth year must have been terrible for you."  
"I don't want to talk about it," Draco said and Hermione took his hand, squeezing it.

"Sorry."  
"Nah, it's fine. We need to talk about it one day but right now, there is way too much on my mind."  
Once again, Draco spend most of the day writing. Hermione suspected that he was the typical procrastinator and she left him alone, reading and cooking and planning the party. She knew that she had to use the good days she had and get done as much as she could, or she would fall behind because of the bad ones.

In the evening, Draco sat down next to her on the sofa and they watched a film in silence. It was odd and yet comfortable.

Sunday was much the same, except Hermione panicking slightly in the evening.

"You'll do just fine," Draco assured her.

"No, I won't! I am not prepared for this! I haven't read-!" Hermione paced in front of him, her hands in her hair and Draco suspected he had found the reason why her hair had been a mess all through Hogwarts.

"Hermione, you could not read about everything in two days. You are going there to learn. You have time and can look it up when the need arises. And I seriously doubt it will," Draco said from his place on the couch and she glared at him, but stopped pacing and slumbered next to him.

Draco put an arm around her shoulders and Hermione sighed. "You are right. But I still feel like I haven't done enough, that I will fail."

"You won't. We both know that Hermione Granger never fails at anything. After all, that's the main reason we are still alive. If you had failed, Tommy would have killed us long ago."  
Hermione let out a dry laugh. "Except that Hermione Granger fails at everything that matters like life and relationships. And if I would have failed, we wouldn't be dealing with this stupid curse."  
Draco closed his eyes and exhaled slowly. "You haven't failed at life. It was stolen from you by a psychopath the same way it was stolen from so many others and you are still trying to get it back."  
"Sometimes I ask myself what the world would look like if we had failed," Hermione whispered and Draco froze.

"It would be much, much worse for so many people," he said slowly. "Don't ever think that getting rid of that bastard had been wrong. You saved us all, if not the whole world."  
"I don't think it was wrong. I... I just don't know. I often ask myself how my life would look life if everything had been different."

Draco put his chin on the top of her head as she leaned closer to him and thought about it for a moment before speaking up. "What exactly do you ask yourself?" he asked finally.

"A lot of things."  
"But you aren't asking yourself how your life would have looked if you weren't a witch, right?" he pressed out between clenched teeth.

Hermione didn't answer and Draco hated himself in that moment more than he had ever before. It seemed to be something he did quite regularly in her presence.

He kissed her head before speaking again. "Do you want to live in the muggle world again?"  
"No. I couldn't even if I wished to. Magic has become an inseparable part of me and it would be like ripping my arm off," Hermione answered into his shirt.

"What is it then?" Draco asked.

"I am just asking myself how everything would be if I was born without magic. Would I still have my parents? A great job? A boyfriend? Mental health?" she said and pulled away to look him into the face. "I am sure it's hard for you to imagine but I know an entirely different life than I am leading right now. I know that I could have had it if… well, if I wasn't a witch. If I was normal."

Draco was at a loss of words. Hermione was right, he couldn't fanthom how she felt. After all, it was "normal" for him to have magic.

"I- I am sorry. I don't know what to say. I really can't imagine what you are going through, but please tell me how and if I can help you."

Hermione wished her tears away and stood up. "No, it's fine. I shouldn't have dumped all of that on you."  
"Wait," Draco jumped up and caught her arm. "Please, if there ever is something I can do for you, tell me."  
"Don't feel guilty, Malfoy," Hermione pulled away and Draco flinched at the use of his last name and watched silently as she retreated into her room.

He felt like they had relapsed. Like Hermione was distancing herself from him and he didn't like that one bit.

He ran a hand though his hair and decided to call it a night as well.

When Draco walked into the kitchen the next morning, Hermione was trying to pull on her stockings and eat her toast at the same time.

"Nice underwear," he said an ignored her glare as he made his way to the coffee machine. "Do you want some?"

"No, I am fine," Hermione said as she finished chewing. "And you have seen me naked, so shut up."  
"Actually, I was serious. The underwear is nice," Draco gave her his most dazzling smile.

Hermione glanced down and sighed. She had pulled out her underwear randomly and was now standing in a laced, rather transparent thong in their kitchen.

"Thanks, but I am going to be late, so if you excuse me, I have to get my hair under control and find my skirt."

"How about you find your skirt and eat your breakfast like a civilized human being while I make your hair?" Draco asked as he poured himself some coffee. "It might save some of your probably highly incompetent new colleagues from getting killed on your first day and your hair will look fabulous."

"Alright," Hermione smiled at him in defeat. "I'll be right back."  
Draco watched her retreat, his eyes not leaving her ass until she disappeared behind a corner, before he put some toast into the toaster and sat down.

Just as he had said, he did her hair when Hermione returned fully dressed, and she left ten minutes earlier than she had to. But that was Hermione Granger when she actually wanted to do something.

Draco waved his wand and send the dishes to clean themselves before he retrieved his manuscript from his room and sat down on the couch to continue his work.

He barely made any breaks and had finished everything he wanted to do when four o'clock came around and therefore Hermione should return home.

He put aside his pen and turned on the TV, glancing on the clock occasionally. It was not until five that the fireplace lighted up and Hermione stepped through, her hair completely mused.

"Are you alright?" Draco jumped up as soon as he had seen her.

"Yeah, yeah, I am fine," Hermione responded and walked the few steps over to their couch, without bothering to remove the ash she had gotten all over herself. She sat down and put her feet onto the coffee table.

"How was it?" Draco asked and sat back down.

"Bloody exhausting," Hermione said with a bright smile on her face. "But I loved it. Even though Cormac was there..."

"Cormac?" Draco tiled his head. "Should that name ring a bell?"  
"Cormac McLaggen? The guy I took to Slughorn's party?" Hermione raised an eyebrow and Draco started laughing.

"I take it that you know who I am talking about?" she asked dryly.

"I am sorry," he said when he calmed down. "But it's just your luck to have to work with him. But maybe he is the solution to your non-existent love-life?" he winked at her and Hermione rolled her eyes.

"Because one date wasn't one too many. No thank you. Besides, I don't want a boyfriend right now. Even though I might be forced to make one up if he doesn't get the hint. Knowing him, he won't."

Draco chuckled. "If there's no other way to throw him off, I am willing to sacrifice myself and play your bf if it comes down to it."  
Hermione shot him a funny look at that, but didn't comment.

"Anyway, tell me more about your day. What did you do and how are your other, more normal colleagues?"

"It was fine. I was assigned to one of the younger associates, Theodore Nott and he showed me everything before I got to do some research for a case," Hermione smiled.

"Wait, what? You are working with Theo?" Draco gaped at her. "How could I have missed it?!"  
Hermione laughed. "Calm down. I was as surprised to see him there, but luckily, he and Cormac are the only ones from Hogwarts who are our age working there."  
"Our age?" Draco rose an eyebrow.

"Our age," Hermione repeated. "It's not like there are that many wizarding schools in Britain and the whole economy isn't dependant on Hogwarts graduates."

Draco shrugged. "You might be right."  
"Might? I am right and you know it."  
Draco rolled his eyes and hold his hands up in resignation. "Of course. You are always right."  
Hermione smacked him lightly on the arm and he winked at her again.

"But will you be fine with Theo coming to the party if you are working with or more like under him?"

"Yeah, sure. He is your friend and you should invite him. And don't worry, I won't tell him that you forgot where he was working."  
Draco smiled at her cheekily. "How noble of you. But really, if McLaggen or whatever his name is gives you trouble, tell me. I'll be glad to act the overprotective boyfriend. Despite Theo laughing his ass of at the sight of that. Maybe we should tell him beforehand."  
"And get yourself killed by Harry and Ron?" Hermione asked in amusement.

"Isn't that what we want? Maybe getting the two to do the job isn't such a bad idea."  
Hermione groaned and hid her face in her hands. "You are impossible, do you know it?"  
"Yes."

ooo

On Tuesday morning, it wasn't just Hermione who was running around the flat half-naked but Draco as well.

"Fucking hell, I have overslept," he explained as he snatched a piece of toast from Hermione's plate as he barged into the kitchen only in his briefs and socks.

She rolled her eyes and took a bite from her own toast. Since she had found out that she was working with Cormac McLaggen she had decided that being at work two minutes early was just fine as it minimized the chances of being annoyed by him before ten and had therefore enough time to get ready and allow Draco to steal her toast.

"Don't forget your troursers," she said calmly and took a sip from her tea.

Draco glared at her and Hermione shrugged. "People do it all the time."  
"Whatever," Draco muttered and downed his cup of coffee in one go, before darting out of the room.

Hermione ate calmly before doing her hair and leaving for work just as Draco rushed into the living room, looking for some piece of paper or other.

"Good luck," she called out before she stepped through the fireplace.

Her rather good mood shattered immediately as the first person she saw was Cormac, who grinned at her as soon as he spotted her.

"Good morning," she said and pushed past him and his conversation partner she didn't know yet on her way to Theo's office.

"Hermione! Want to have lunch with me?" he called after her and Hermione rolled her eyes.  
"I don't know," she called over her shoulder. "I haven't talked to Mister Nott about my tasks for today."  
When she slipped into the office, Theo was looking at her, clearly bemused. "I assume you want to work through lunch?"

"Is it that obvious?" Hermione asked with a sigh.

"Well, I was at Slughorn's party," Theo shrugged. "And I've already told you call me Theo. We are the same age and you are Draco's roommate."

Hermione made a face. "Please don't remind me about that party. I am trying to erase it from my memory. But yes, it would be great if I could work through lunch, Theo."  
Theo chuckled and gave her a new case to research and Hermione spend the day running between the house-intern library and Theo's office, taking only a short late lunch break, but managed to get done before everyone went home.

"Seriously, why did they even sign you up for training?" Theo muttered as he looked over the files. "You could solve your own cases instead of this secretary-work."  
Hermione blushed at that. "Thanks. But I think the training is necessary."  
"Really?" Theo gave her a sceptical look. "You have worked for the Ministry and passed laws there."  
"Really," Hermione said. "I wouldn't want anyone to lose their lawsuit because of me if they are in the right."  
Theo shrugged. "As you wish. See you tomorrow."  
With that, Hermione left and went home. The flat was empty just as Draco had predicted. It was weird for Hermione that a meeting with an editor took so long, but from what she had figured Draco would do all the necessary edits in one go together with the editor and that could take a day or even two if it was a longer story.

Hermione took of her shoes, put a frozen pizza into the oven and turned on the TV. She fell asleep soon after.


	16. Chapter 16

**Thank you for the wonderful reviews**

 **And thanks to my beta Nantai**

 **EDIT: This chapter has been up since Monday but this website wasn't working properly as many of you may have noticed. On this occassion, I decided to start a tumblr blog that will have nothing but update information and the chapters if something like this ever happens again. More on that with the next update**

Draco stepped through the fireplace and started coughing immediately. Smoke was everywhere, so thick he could barely see anything. A strong urge to apparate away struck him together with one single thought: "Hermione".

He cast a bubble-charm around his head and sank to his knees and started crawling. Draco was just glad that they had the fire-restricting charm around the kitchen, preventing it to spread as the smoke was bad enough. He would have to talk with Pansy about that.

He reached the couch and found Hermione lying on it to his relief. Quickly, he checked her pulse, finding it rather weak but there, before scooping her up in his arms and apparating to the flat still rented under her name. He couldn't bring her anywhere else as it would mean too many questions he wasn't willing to face nor have an answer to.

He carefully lowered her onto the couch they had left there and slumbered onto the floor next to it. He didn't know what to do now. On one hand, there was a fire in their kitchen he would have to take care of soon, but he didn't want to leave Hermione alone either. It didn't help that he didn't know what to do if a person inhaled too much smoke. On top of that, Draco was pretty sure that the only reason Hermione was still alive was that damn curse. For the first time, he didn't hate it.

Reluctantly, Draco stood up. He leaned over Hermione and moved a stray curl from her face before leaning down and kissing her forehead.

"I'll be right back. Promise," he said and cast another bubble-charm around his head. He looked over at Hermione one last time and apparated back into their flat to deal with the fire.

Draco walked swiftly to the kitchen door and pulled it open. He was hit with a wall of smoke, thick enough that he feared for his oxygen bubble. Luckily it lasted.

Draco grimaced and cast an aguamenti, making water shoot from his wand. He directed it at the fire that was currently destroying the kitchen counter and cursed inwardly. He was sweating like a pig and hated every moment of it. Thinking about it, it had been a rather stupid decision to try and extinguish the fire alone, but it was too late now and it was working anyway, judging by the retreating fire.

Draco wanted to sweep the sweat away with his free hand but the bubble prevented him from it. Draco grit his teeth and strengthened the charm. It was taking too long and he wanted to get back to Hermione. Or bring Hermione back here and into her bed, but for that, he would have to extinguish the fire and let air in.

By the time Draco had finally managed to get rid of both the fire and the smoke and returned to Hermione, she was already awake, even though barely conscious and sat curled up on the couch, hugging herself.

"What happened?" she asked as soon as he appeared in front of her.

"You tell me," Draco said and sat down in front of the couch, looking up at her.

"I… I don't know. I came home, you weren't there, and turned on the TV. Then I fell sleep."  
"Well, I believe you forgot your dinner in the stove," Draco said. "I am sorry to inform you that it's not edible anymore."  
"Oh my god," Hermione clasped her hands over her mouth.

"I take it was an accident and not payback for… well, last time," Draco gave her a crooked smile.  
"How bad is it?" Hermione asked.

"The kitchen is pitch black and we will have to buy new electronics, but other than that everything is fine. I didn't really like the colour on the walls anyway," Draco shrugged and Hermione grimaced.

"I am so sorry. You paid so much and here I go ruining it," she said.

"Don't worry about it. There are more important matters. Are you fine?" Draco asked with concern. "I didn't know what to do when I found you. I haven't dealt with anything like this before."  
"I think I am fine," Hermione slid down onto the floor to sit next to Draco. "Just tired, really, really tired."  
Draco pulled her into a hug. "Well, then let's get you into your bed." With that, he apparated them back into their flat, before scooping Hermione up bridal-style and carrying her into her room.

He placed her gently on the bed and straightened his back. "Do you need something?"

"Stay," Hermione said and Draco's eyes widened.  
"Excuse me?"

"Stay with me," Hermione repeated, staring him down. "Sleep with me."  
Draco flushed and Hermione rolled her eyes. "Not like that. I don't want to be alone right now."  
Draco nodded and ran a hand through his hair. "I'll take a quick shower and be right back."  
With that, he stormed off and straight into his bathroom where he turned the water to ice cold and stepped into the shower still in his clothes. The evening was too much for him and he didn't know what to feel. He was scared, angry, worried and some other emotion he had no name for. It was ridiculous and Draco punched the wall, tears streaming down his face.

By the time he climbed out of the shower, Draco's lips were blue and he was shaking. He quickly shed his clothes and dried himself before putting on some sleeping clothes.

When he walked back into Hermione's room, she opened her eyes.

"I thought you wouldn't come and just hoped I fell asleep," she whispered as Draco sat down on her bed.

"You really think lowly of me," he muttered as he laid down. "It just took ages to scrub of all that soot and ashes."  
Hermione didn't respond and snuggled closer to him as he put an arm around her.

"Now sleep, you need the rest."  
"Mhmm. I do have to go to work in a couple of hours," Hermione murmured into his shirt and Draco looked down at her with wide eyes.

"You are joking," he blurted out and Hermione opened one eye to look at him.  
"I am not. I have work tomorrow. I can't skip work because of something like this. It will be fine."  
Draco wanted to protest but bit his tongue. It would be futile anyway and would only shorten the rest Hermione would get and he didn't want that. She needed the sleep to recover, that's how it worked till now.

"Good night," he muttered and kissed her hair.

"Night, Draco."  
ooo

When Hermione came home the next day, she was exhausted. She sunk onto the couch, not even bothering to get rid of her shoes.

"How are you?" Draco asked as he walked into the living room.

"Tired. I want to go to bed and spend the next week in it," Hermione responded and closed her eyes.

"I told you, you should stay home," Draco said and walked to stand in front of her.

Hermione peaked at him with one eye as he stood there, hands in his pockets and smiling radiantly at her.

"Why are you in such a good mood?" she asked.

"I finished the book. It was send to printing an hour ago," Draco said and Hermione smiled up at him.

"Congratulations," she said.

"Thank you," Draco sat down next to her and Hermione put her head on his shoulder. "How was work?"  
"Fine. The cases are interesting and Theo is really nice to me."  
"And McLaggen?" Draco inquired.

"Nothing special."  
Draco turned on the TV. "You would tell me if he was bothering you, right?"  
"I can take care of myself," Hermione responded. "I am touched that you are worried but he really doesn't give me any trouble, okay?"  
"Okay," Draco sighed. "You just scared the hell out of me last night. Especially as it was an accident. I've been thinking about what would have happened if we weren't under the curse, spell, really."  
"Draco..."  
"I am just worried about you," he said. "So please take care of yourself. I think I am fine if we do it together, but I don't want to lose you."

"You won't," Hermione said and Draco kissed the side of her head.

"You know you do that a lot," she mumbled as she took the remote from his hand and started switching through channels.

"What?" Draco felt heat rise to his cheeks.

"Kiss my hair," Hermione said without looking at him.

"I will stop if it makes you uncomfortable," he offered, sure that he was as read as a tomato, despite his pale skin.

"No, no, it's fine," Hermione said quickly and Draco smiled.

Ooo

Thursday and Friday passed in a blur of work, take-away and preparations for the party they were about to host. The kitchen had to be replaced and catering and alcohol organized in a fashion Narcissa Malfoy would approve of.

On Saturday, Hermione woke up, already feeling anxious. She wasn't very fond of any kind of parties and having one at her own flat meant that she couldn't flee whenever she wanted. And Hermione was sure, that she would want to leave at some point as bringing her and Draco's friends together into a room would mean nothing but tension. She was just glad that they had agreed to not invite any parents or real adults as that would have had multiplied the tension considerably and made her rather sad since she would be reminded about her parents not being there.

Hermione sighed. Now she had made herself sad anyway.

She slipped out of bed and paddled into their new kitchen where Draco was already sitting at the table, drinking his coffee and reading a book.

"Morning," she said and set to make herself some tea.

"Good morning," Draco looked up at her. "Did you sleep well?"  
"Yeah," Hermione smiled at him, not wanting to admit that she had trouble sleeping since the accident with her forgotten pizza. Well, even bigger trouble than before. "You?"  
"Yeah. I am just feeling kinda fidgety. This evening will either be the biggest disaster ever or a total success. And somehow I think it will be the former."  
Hermione sighed. "I feel the same. But we have to do it or our friends will team up to kill us. And I don't think I want to see that, despite doubting that they would succeed."  
Draco let out a low laugh at that. "Can't blame you for that. Pansy can be quite scary and I don't want to know how bad it would get if she teamed up with Loony Lovegood or the female Weasley.

Hermione rolled her eyes at the nickname. "You won't call my friends names, alright?"

"I won't. At least to their face," Draco smirked at her and Hermione had the urge to smack him. "At least not as long as the Weasel behaves.  
"Seriously, Draco," Hermione crossed her arms. "Stop it."  
"Alright," he said and returned to his book. Hermione joined him with a book on her own as she ate her breakfast and drank her tea.

They spent the morning like that and Hermione cooked spaghetti for lunch. When they finished eating, the cleaning started before Hermione's panic concerning her clothing and hair set in.

She began her usual routine of pulling clothes from her wardrobe and threw them over her head while muttering to herself as Draco watched in amusement from the doorway.

"Do you need any help?" he asked. "With your hair maybe?"  
Hermione's head snapped into his direction. "I didn't know you were here," she said, blushing.

"Well, it looks like fun," he said and mentioned to the pile of clothes behind her. "And the offer stands."  
"Um, that would be great, thank you," Hermione smiled at him and Draco returned her smile.

"I'll leave it to you to pick a dress and get dressed myself. Call me when you are done."

Hermione nodded and returned to her previous activity until she settled on a dark blue knee-length dress with long sleeves. She put it on and quickly charmed her things to fly back into the wardrobe before putting on light make-up.

When she stepped out into the living room, Draco looked her up and down appreciatively.

"You look good," he said. "And you will look even better when I get your hair under control."  
Hermione rolled her eyes, but there was a smile on her lips. "Thank you. You look good yourself."  
With that, Draco set to work and managed to put Hermione's hair into yet another beautiful braid even before the caterers arrived to set everything up.

Thanks to magic, they were done rather quickly and left Draco and Hermione waiting for their guests to arrive with nothing to do.

"Do you know if Pansy is bringing Percy?" Hermione asked and Draco shrugged.

"Didn't you send him an invite on his own?"  
"I did. I am just curious if they are going to admit that they are dating in public," Hermione said.

"If they are, we are bound to some drama," Draco muttered. "I can't imagine the Weasel will take it well."  
"He'll probably take it better than the fact that we are friends," Hermione sighed. "He and Percy never were close."

"That's good," Draco said. "I would hate for the carpet to get strained by blood."

Hermione groaned, making Draco snicker. She was about to say something when the bell rang and they looked at each other, before standing up.

It seemed, the first of their guests have arrived.

Hermione gave Draco an encouraging smile as they walked to the door.

Draco took one last breath and pushed the handle down. The party had begun.


	17. Chapter 17

**Here we go again. I am glad you guys still like this story and thank you for your support. There are a few announcements:**

 **As many may have noticed, this website didn't work properly a week ago. Because of that, I decided to start a blog on tumblr where I post nothing but update notifications and links to my fanfics (and answer questions if anybody ever decides they have any) the url is: viv-heart tumblr com (just fill in the dots in the empty spaces)**

 _ **! I would recommend you to check if you've read the last chapter if you haven't noticed an update last week!**_

 **On another note, I've started a Sirius/Minerva/Remus fanfic if anybody is interested in that. It's called Trust me if you can.**

 **As always, beta love to Nantai and let me know what you think**

The door opened to show Harry, Ron and Ginny standing in the hallway and Draco suppressed a groan. Of course they were the first ones to arrive.

"Welcome," he forced himself to say as he stepped aside to let them in and watched silently as they greeted Hermione before looking around the room curiously.

"It's big," Ginny said with surprise.

"You haven't even seen the rest of the place yet," Draco muttered and Ron glared at him.

"How about I show you the flat while Draco goes on door duty?" Hermione stepped in in an attempt to prevent a quarrel even before the party really started.

"Sure," Harry said and fell into step behind Hermione, Ginny on his heels. Ron shot Draco another nasty look but went with them.

Not a minute later, the bell rang again. Draco opened the door, expecting to see another of Hermione's friends but to his relief Theo stood there.

"It's good to see you," Draco said in relief as he shook his friend's hand.

"Same to you," Theo replied. "I am really curious about this whole affair."  
Draco raised an eyebrow, but Theo didn't manage to explain as the bell rang again.

"We'll talk later," Draco said before opening the door. This time, it was Pansy and Percy, standing there hand-in-hand.

"The Weasel is already here," Draco said instead of greetings as he let them in. "Just a warning."  
Pansy immediately let go of Percy's hand and Theo looked between them.

"I think this is going to be a very fun evening," he said dryly.

Slowly, the others arrived. First, Neville and Luna, followed by Blaise, George, Daphne, Greg, Hannah, Lavender and finally Millicent.

"You invited her?" Ginny asked Hermione in disbelief as they walked out of the kitchen and saw Lavender Brown chatting to Ron.

"She isn't that bad," Hermione shrugged. "Besides, she is good at distracting Ron."  
Ginny didn't take long to understand. "How sneaky of you! Was it your idea or Malfoy's?"  
"Mine," Hermione said with a smirk and Ginny tried to suppress her laughter, but failed miserably. "What's so funny?" Harry asked and handled both girls a drink.

Ginny pointed to Ron who was animatedly chatting with Lavender, who was listening with interest.

Harry looked between them and the two girls next to him in confusion.  
"Ah, forget it," Ginny rolled her eyes and Hermione excused herself to mingle with some of the other guests.

She was on her way to Neville, when Hannah seized her arm and pulled her towards where Luna, Daphne and Millicent were standing.

"What's wrong?" Hermione asked.

"We want to play a game," Daphne announced with a smirk and Hermione rose an eyebrow.  
"What kind of game?" she asked cautiously.

"Never have I ever," Millicent replied and Hermione sighed.

"I don't think this is a good idea," she said, glancing over at the rest of the guests. Theo was chatting with Blaise and a rather uncomfortable looking Neville, George and Greg drank standing next to each other in silence, while Pansy, Percy and Draco were discussing something with Harry and Ginny and Lavender and Ron stood a bit aside.

"Come on, it will be fun," Hanna insisted. "I mean, you want us to get along and get to know each other. This is the way to do it."  
Hermione stepped from one foot to another. "I am not so sure about it. We aren't children anymore."  
"Oh come on," Daphne crossed her arms over her chest. "We are young! And let's be real here, most of us lost our childhood to a maniac. We all need to make up for it or we'll go crazy."

Hermione sighed. The sad truth was, she agreed wholly with what Daphne said. They had lost their childhoods and they needed to make up for it. "I'll talk to Draco," she said finally and walked over to where he stood.

"Can I talk to you for a moment?" she whispered and Draco quickly excused himself.

"The girls want to play 'Never have I ever'," Hermione explained quickly. "They believe it will ease the tension."

Draco glanced at the group of girls who all were looking at him expectantly. "I can't believe Loony is into this," he muttered and Hermione smacked his arm.

"I told you to not call anyone names!"  
"Sorry," Draco said, rubbing his arm where she hit him. "But fine. Those who want can play."

Hermione clapped her hands together at that in an attempt to get everyone's attention. After all heads turned to her and Draco, she began speaking. "Thank you all for coming. We are really glad you could make it. I hope you are enjoying yourself. Hannah and Daphne have suggested that we play 'Never have I ever' to ease the tension and we think it sounds like a good idea," she motioned between herself and Draco. "Would everyone want to join in?"  
"I am sorry but I don't want to play," Pansy said and all heads turned into her direction.

"What?" Blaise laughed. "Who are you and what have you done to Pansy? She would never turn down playing 'Never have I ever'."

Pansy glared at him. "Fine. I'll play." At that, Percy, who was standing next to her, stiffened, but nobody really paid him any attention as Hannah and Daphne took the alcohol and placed it on the coffee table. One by one, everyone sat down, be it on the couch, the chairs or even the floor.

"This is ridiculous," Hermione muttered. "Why did I even bother to dress up?"

"Scared?" Draco whispered and Hermione glared at him. "If you were scared, you should not have agreed."  
"I am not scared. The dress is just getting wrinkled," Hermione shot back and looked at Daphne who started speaking.

"The best way to play this game is to enchant the glasses to light up if you have done something, so you can't lie. Is everyone fine with that?"  
Hermione looked at her in interest. "Wait. Isn't that some complicated magic? You have to get into people's heads after all!"

Daphne shrugged. "Not really. I learned it from Witch Weekly some time in fifth year."  
"Does it work?" Hermione asked with scepticism.

"Yes," Blaise said with amusement and leaned forward. "I am looking forward to see if you are as prude as the rumours have suggested." He winked at Hermione and she quickly averted her gaze, blushing.  
"Zabini," Draco hissed, but Blaise only smirked at him.

In the meanwhile, Hannah and Daphne placed a cup in front of everyone and Daphne performed the spell.

"I think Hermione should start," Luna said and everybody looked at her.

"Uh, hm," Hermione stammered, being caught by surprise. "I've never broken a bone?"

Almost all of the glasses lit up and they all drank.

"That was mean," Draco complained. "You've seen most of us breaking something."  
"I haven't considered that!" Hermione protested. "Now go ahead and ask something!"  
"Never have I ever eaten food out of a trash can."

"That one's so old," Millicent complained but Draco motioned to Harry, Ron and Hermione who drank silently.

"It was on the run," Harry explained when he saw all the questioning looks.

"Never have I ever kissed someone," Blaise said and looked expectantly between Neville and Luna, but both drank and Blaise grimaced,

"Well, that went well," Pansy grinned at him and Blaise drank his shot while glaring at her.

"Never have I ever slept with my best friends," Theo said from next to Blaise and several cups lit up. Hermione, Ron, Draco, Pansy, Blaise, Luna and Ginny had to drink.

"Wait," Hannah help up her hand, stopping Greg from speaking. "This needs some explaining. I mean, everyone knows about Hermione and Ron and Parkinson and Malfoy, but the others don't make sense. Aren't Luna and Ginny best friends?"  
"So?" Ginny raised an eyebrow in challenge and Hannah stuttered, while Ron turned completely red.

"This game is really weird when family members are present," George snorted.

"Be glad you weren't there when Charlie and Bill played with some of their friends," Percy sighed and everyone turned to look at him, forgetting about Ginny and Luna immediately. The two oldest Weasley brothers were kind of legends at Hogwarts thanks to the Triwizard Tournament.

"Well, they're both kind of adventurous in most senses of the word," Percy said. "But it's not my place to tell and frankly, I don't want to think about it."  
"That's understandable. I am quite surprised Charlie doesn't have a thing with a dragon," George grinned.

"It's Greg's turn," Daphne announced.

"Never have I kissed someone of the same sex." Half of the glasses lit up, but the biggest surprise was Harry's.

"It was Cedric, wasn't it?" Hermione asked and Harry turned red, while Ron looked at him in disgust.

"Am I the only one who hasn't kissed a Triwizard Champion?" he asked.

"Well, your brother married one," Blaise laughed at him and Ron turned even redder than Harry.

"Calm down," Hermione put a hand on Ron's arm. "It's George's turn."  
"Never have I ever slurred a racist remark towards someone," George leaned back with a grin as the glass of every former Slytherin except Theo lit up. "Woops," he said, earning himself quite a few glares.

"Never have I ever showered with someone," Neville said and everyone looked down on the glasses. Blaise, Daphne, Hannah, Lavender, Draco and Hermione had to drink.

"Wait," Ron pointed at Hermione's glass. "Who did you shower with? You've told me you didn't have a boyfriend since me! It's Malfoy, isn't it?!"

"Ha! I knew it!" Blaise pointed at them with a victorious grin on his face. "I knew it! Pay up, Greg!"  
"I am sorry, but it seems the game counts that time when I was five and took a bath with my cousin," Hermione said, red as a tomato. "And we aren't dating! Let's continue!"  
The game went on and on and more and more embarrassing stories were traded as people got drunker and drunker.

"I have never ever dated anybody in this room," Greg slurred. As expected, most of the glasses lit up and they reached for their drinks, when Ron suddenly froze.

"What the hell Percy?!" he shouted suddenly, before frantically looking between the others who held a glass in their hands. "You had a thing with Hermione?! You traitor! Asshole!"

"What?" Percy slowly put his empty glass on the table. "What are you talking about?"  
"You've drank! And who else would it be? Harry? Malfoy? God forbid Parkinson!"

Pansy froze at that and all those who knew looked at her.

"No way!" Ron shrieked and stood up, almost falling over but managing to catch himself, pointing his finger at his brother. "How dare you! A Slytherin! Wait till I tell mum and dad!" With that, he stormed of, slamming the door behind himself.

"I think we should go after him," Ginny was the first to wake up from the shock. "And you should have told us!" she turned to Percy before standing up, somewhat more stable on her legs than Ron had been. They all had had too much to drink. "Harry, George, come on. We have to stop him before he does something stupid."  
"Hermione, Malfoy, thank you for inviting us," Harry hugged Hermione goodbye. "It was nice. And I am sorry for Ron."  
"We've actually expected something like that to happen," Draco said and the three of them left.

"I think we are going too," Pansy said, squeezing Percy's hand. "There are a few people who need to process the new information and frankly, most of those present are drunk off their asses."

"I think we all should go," Neville stood up and offered his hand to Daphne to help her up.

One by one, everyone but Theo said goodbye and left.

"It's nice of you to help with cleaning," Hermione giggled, drunk as she was, and Theo smiled at her. He had been the soberest person in the room towards the end.

"Don't worry about it. Draco and I wanted to talk about something afterwards anyway."  
"Why don't you get some sleep, Hermione?" Draco returned into the living room and stood next to her. "You look really tired."  
"I need to finish cleaning," she crossed her arms over her chest.  
"We'll manage without you," Theo said. "Don't worry."  
Hermione's brows furrowed. "Why are you telling me to get to bed? It's suspicious!"  
"Because you almost fell asleep during the game," Draco grinned. "You were leaning on my shoulder half of the evening. I am surprised the Weasel hasn't lost it earlier than he did."  
"Stop calling Ron that!" Hermione tried to smack Draco but missed, losing her balance. Luckily, Draco caught her before she fell and scooped her up into his arms.

"Change of plans. I am bringing you to bed. You are way too drunk. Drunker than you've been any other time we were drinking."  
Hermione snuggled into his chest and allowed him to carry her into her bedroom, where he put her down.

"Draco, don't go," Hermione didn't let go of his neck. "Stay with me."  
"I have to go," Draco tried to pull free, as it wasn't really comfortable to stand hunched over the bed like he did. "Theo is waiting for me and I have to finish cleaning and bring you a hangover potion."  
"But pretty, pretty Draco, stay. Pretty, pretty please," she said and pulled Draco even closer, before pressing her lips to his.

Draco froze, not knowing what do to. He had the sudden urge to kiss her senseless, but Hermione was really, really drunk. Before he could decide, she let go of him and he pulled back.

She was looking at him expectantly, a bright smile on her face.

"I'll be right back," Draco stammered and practically stormed out of the room, almost running over Theo who was waiting for him in the hallway.

"What the fuck happened?" Theo asked, stifling a yawn.

"She kissed me!" Draco hissed, pulling at his hair. "She fucking kissed me!"

"And?"

"I am so confused! And drunk! And fuck! I don't know what to do!" Draco walked into the living room and sat down on the couch.

"So you really aren't dating?" Theo asked again.

"Seriously! How often do I have to tell you! We are not dating!" Draco stood up again and started pacing, while Theo watched in amusement.

"Well, you can't blame me for not believing you, considering the way you look at her and that she just kissed you."  
"She is drunk out of her mind! She probably won't remember it tomorrow!" Draco protested.

"And your looks? You had an arm around her practically since she sat down next to you."  
"I am drunk too! And we are close! But I don't have feelings for Hermione!"  
"Then it won't bother you that McLaggen is harassing her into going out with him," Theo said with a smirk and Draco clenched his fists.

"Are you serious?" he asked, anger evident in his voice.  
"Unfortunately yes. That guy is a real pain in the ass and clearly making Hermione uncomfortable with his sexual innuendos," Theo explained with annoyance. "She hasn't told you?"  
"She said something the first day, but never mentioned it again afterwards."  
"Well, it gets worse with every day," Theo ran a hand through his hair. "I had to forbid him to enter my office because he was disturbing the work."  
"I'm going to kill that bastard," Draco hissed and Theo rolled his eyes.

"How about you figure out what you are feeling first, Malfoy?"


	18. Chapter 18

**As always, thanks for the continuing support and thanks to Nantai for betaing.**

 **I've reached the point where I know exactly how this story will end. I don't think it will take more than 5 chapters, but I am not entirely sure, as sometimes things happen that I haven't forseen. I'll tell you when I am sure. There will be an epilogue as well.**

 **I hope you enjoy and I would be really happy about reviews and comments. Concrit would be great as well. Thank you and have a great week :)**

When Hermione walked into the kitchen the next morning, Draco was sitting at the table, surrounded by papers.

"What are you doing?" she asked before putting on water for tea.

"Next chapter," he replied without looking up.

"Cool," she said and sat down. "Can we talk?"  
"About what?"  
"Yesterday. I don't really remember the end of the party," Hermione said, blushing, and Draco finally looked at her.

"Uh, oh."  
"Yeah, oh. It's so embarrassing!" Hermione cried out, hiding her face in her hands.

"No, no, it's fine," Draco quickly assured her, glad that she wasn't looking at him as he was sure that his face would have showed his relief and he didn't want to explain that. "How much do you remember?"  
"Well, I remember the majority of the game. But I have no recollection of anybody leaving," Hermione confessed nervously.

"Then you can't say for sure, that you remember the majority of the game," Draco teased and Hermione glared at him.

"I remember Pansy's question about Polyjuice."  
"You remember the most embarrassing question of the evening," Draco grinned at her. "That's good! I am sure none of us will ever forget the story about how you turned into a cat in second year."  
"Not funny, Draco. I just hope that there were people more drunk than me, who have blanks as well!"  
"I am sure there were a few," he replied. "And really, Hermione. There's nothing embarrassing about that. It happens to the best of us."  
"Oh, shut up! Would you just please tell me what happened afterwards?" Hermione stood up and set to make her tea.

"I am still surprised you don't use magic to do that," he commented.

"Draco, you use my coffee machine all the time. And tell me already! I did something stupid didn't I?"

Draco flushed at the question. "No, you didn't," he said quickly. "Weasley did!"  
Hermione groaned. "What happened?"  
"Well," Draco ran a hand through his hair as Hermione sat down again. "He threw a fit when he found out about Pansy and his brother and stormed off. That ended the party."  
Hermione sighed. "Well, it's not like we didn't expect it."  
"There wasn't a duel or any curses for that matter, so it could have been worse," Draco shrugged and drank from her cup.

"Draco!" Hermione protested, but he only smirked at her from behind the cup and emptied it in one go.

"Arse."

ooo

"You have to be fucking kidding me!" Theo cried out. "She doesn't remember it and you didn't fucking tell her?!"  
Draco glared at his friend's head in the fireplace. "You told me to figure out what I was feeling, remember that? Guess what I am doing?"  
Theo sighed. "I seriously recommend you to do that quickly, because there will be a day when she kisses you and remembers it!"  
"I know!" Draco retorted. "But I fucking don't know! I like her, I like her very much, but I don't know if there is more to it!"  
"There is! Blaise has asked me if I stayed for a threesome. When I explained him that we were talking business, he said that he wasn't surprised since you don't share. We both know that Blaise is always right about this kind of stuff!" Theo said and Draco groaned.

"Great! That's just great! You think we have a thing, Blaise does too… Weasel and Potty have jumped me repeatedly because of it and my parents were making jokes about it too! Is there even a single person who doesn't think we are a thing?"  
"Greg?" Theo suggested and Draco seriously contemplated throwing a pillow at him, even though it would be ruined by it. He decided against it as the pillows were Hermione's favourite.

"What do you suggest I should do?" Draco asked through gritted teeth.

"Talk to her about McLaggen. Find out how she feels about it. Take her on a date. The possibilities are endless," Theo said.

"No, they aren't!" Draco cried out. "Things are complicated!"  
"Oh, are they?" Theo rose an eyebrow. "Like what? I mean, you couldn't have slept with each other before, considering you freaked out because of a kiss. So what's up? Why can't you just ask her out?"  
"First of all, I don't even know what I am feeling!" Draco practically shouted.

"Merlin, calm down. But that doesn't explain why things are complicated," Theo said calmly.

"They are. It's none of your business. Besides, isn't your lunch break over soon? Hermione should come back before that and I seriously don't want her to know," Draco ran a hand through his hair.

"Stop doing that," Theo rolled his eyes. "But you are right. I should be going! But think about the McLaggen thing at least. He has been following her constantly today, asking why he wasn't invited to the party. I am getting tired of it and you might make Hermione do something about it."  
ooo

"How was work?" Draco sat down next to Hermione on the couch. She was currently switching through channels, looking for something to watch.

"It was fine," she said and leaned her head against his shoulder. "Even though Theo was constantly looking at me with this creepy amused glint in his eyes. You know what I mean?"  
Draco laughed at that. "I know exactly what you mean. That's so Theo. And well, what did you expect after getting smashed in a round of "I have never ever"?" he asked.

"I know," Hermione smiled and Draco pulled her closer to him.

"Does McLaggen still bother you?" he asked and Hermione pulled away to look at him.

"Excuse me?" she crossed her arms over her chest.

"I am just asking. You mentioned him last week and I am concerned about you. You would tell me if it got worse, right?" Draco said softly, keeping the detail about Theo telling him repeatedly for himself for the moment.

"Draco, I can take care for myself," Hermione put her hands down into her lap. "You don't have to worry about me."  
"I know that you can take care of yourself, love, but I don't want to end up like your other friends who you almost cut out of your life because you wanted to deal with everything by yourself," Draco said and took her hand. "You are an amazing, strong woman, but I want to be there for you and talk to you. We've gotten so close over a short span of time and I want to keep it that way."  
Hermione looked away, without saying anything. Draco was confused for a moment, but then he saw the tears flowing down her cheeks. He didn't hesitate and pulled her into a hug.

"You don't have to talk about it to me," he whispered into her hair. "I didn't want to make you cry. Please don't think I want to force you into something."  
Hermione shook her head and pressed herself even closer to Draco and he kissed her hair. He couldn't believe he had hated it as a teenager. How stupid he had been.

When she stopped crying, Hermione looked up at Draco who smiled at her. "Feeling better?" he asked.

"Yes," she replied and leaned back against him.

"Do you want to tell me now or should I drop it?" Draco started running his hand up and down her back.

Hermione closed her eyes, relaxing into his touch. "You are right. I should tell you. It's just I hate to feel dependent on somebody."  
"Shh, it's fine," he said. "Everybody hates that, trust me. Just remember your friend saint Potter or me during sixth year. We all have this issue."  
Hermione smiled. "Cormac isn't exactly rude or anything, he just doesn't know when it's enough. I have said no to every single one of his invitations somewhere and he still doesn't give up. He's bothering me basically through every break and Theo had forbidden him to enter his office, because he was annoying him."

"Have you ever told him that you aren't interested in him?" Draco asked.

"Not explicitly. But I don't want to, because it would be unprofessional, if he hasn't really asked me on a date. It's just always some stupid excuse and I can't do more than say no to those. If he was my boss, I would be in trouble by now."  
Draco felt his blood boil, but he took a few deep breaths to calm himself down. He wasn't going to prove Blaise right and throw a jealousy fit because his roommate was having trouble with an idiot. Besides, he wasn't even jealous, just ridiculously angry, because somebody was bothering Hermione and that was even worse as it wasn't about him but about her. He cared too much and if Blaise heard about it, he would probably start planning a wedding just to annoy Draco.

"You should do something about it," Draco said. "That's no way to treat a lady."  
"But what?" Hermione looked up at him again and Draco wanted nothing but to protect her from the world and never let her go. That was the moment when he realized how bad he had it for her. He laughed and Hermione pulled away, looking at him with suspicion.

"We are not going to kidnap him or blackmail him!" she said and Draco started laughing even harder.

"What's wrong with you?" she asked.

Draco looked at her and stopped laughing abruptly. "Nothing," he said. "And I wasn't thinking about any of that. He would be too much of a bother, considering what kind of person he is. I think it would be better to give him a show that makes clear you will never be interested in him."  
Hermione tilted her head, her eyes not leaving Draco. "What are you suggesting?" she asked carefully.  
"Do you remember my joke about us fake-dating?" he asked and a wide smirk spread over his face.

"No!" Hermione cried out, but was laughing. "We aren't going to do that!"  
"Oh, why not?" Draco asked. "I can even get mother to borrow me grandmother's wedding ring so I can propose to you in front of him. I am pretty sure she would fully support the plan and even want pictures."  
Hermione was laughing so hard, she almost fell from the sofa, but Draco caught her and pulled her close once again. It didn't matter that she would pull away soon because of another mood swing.

"I am serious," he said, still grinning.

"I know," she said and looked up at him again. "But you should come up with another idea because there is no way I am going to agree with that!"  
"We will see," he winked at her and Hermione started laughing again.

Ooo

A few days later, Hermione and Draco were lying on the couch, watching some movie about mummies that Draco though was stupid but ridiculously entertaining when somebody knocked on the door.

"I'll get it," Hermione said and jumped up, hurrying to open the door. To her surprise, Ron was standing in front of her, a bouquet of flowers in his hand.

As soon as Draco saw who their guest was, he stood up as well and made his way to stand behind Hermione.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, altering to look between the flowers and Ron's face.

"I came to apologise," he said, his eyes never leaving his feet. "I know I ruined the party and I am sorry about that. And I am sorry about everything I ever accused you of and every time I hurt you. And I am sorry about attacking you, Malfoy," he added the last part with disdain, but Hermione and Draco exchanged quick looks. That was certainly something they both hadn't expected.

"Well," Hermione started but Ron looked up at her.

"Please wait," he said. "That's not all."  
Hermione closed her mouth and he continued.

"Ginny has convinced me to start anger therapy after the row I had with Percy after the party. I've signed up on Monday and had had my first session today as Kingsley had pulled some strings, considering I am an Auror and all and it could endanger me. Did you know they are currently training wizard therapists?"  
Hermione and Draco shook their heads.

"Anyways, they told me if I really wanted to get better, I should show myself and my surroundings that I really wanted to get my anger under control and that's why I am here. I hope you accept my apology, Hermione," Ron said, his ears a bright red.

Hermione smiled at him. "I do. I accept your apology, Ron. I hope you get better," she said sincerely. "Maybe we can be friends again when you get it under control."  
"That would be great," Ron said and returned her smile. "I really want to do this. I know I always had anger management issues, but they got only worse during the war and I really want to change it. I've lost too much."  
"I accept your apology too, Weasley," Draco said with a sigh and Hermione and Ron turned to look at him in surprise.  
"What?" he asked. "It was getting too emotional and I wanted to get it over with. I recognize the effort and sincerity and I promised Hermione to be civil. Now, if you would excuse me."  
Hermione looked after Draco in bewilderment as he walked into his room before turning back to Ron. "I am sorry about that," she said.

"No, it's fine," Ron smiled at her shyly. "Actually, I am glad he said that. I would never have suspected he would and he has taken any excuse from me on lashing out on him."

"You are already doing a lot better," Hermione said in astonishment.

"I've accepted that I have a problem and my therapists says that's a major step. So yeah, you could say so. But I should be going now. I have to report back to Ginny, or she'll worry that Malfoy killed me. See you soon," he said and thrust the flowers into Hermione's hands, before hurrying down the steps.

Hermione closed the door with a smile and went to put the flowers into water before knocking on Draco's door.

"May I come in?" she asked and opened the door when she heard Draco grunt something in response.

"I suppose he has left already?" Draco asked from where he was lying on his bed, his face covered with one arm.

"He has," Hermione replied and sat dawn on the side of Draco's bed. "Everything alright?"  
"Sure," he muttered. "I am just thinking about what he had said."  
"What do you mean?" Hermione asked.

"The therapists. They are training therapists. We've been talking about it before, but decided against it as we couldn't explain the war to muggles. But any wizard therapist would understand."  
Hermione looked at him curiously. "Are you suggesting we should get therapy?" she asked and Draco moved his arm to look at her.

"I am saying we should look into it. Considering this has been the first I've heard about it, it is still in the planning stages."  
"You are probably right. But if it's possible, we should try and get in," Hermione said and Draco laughed bitterly.

"Try being the key word here. I am sure you will get in, but I doubt they will take me."

"Draco," Hermione reached out to take his hand but he pulled away.

"No, Hermione. Promise me, you'll get help if you can, even if I can't," he stared up at her and Hermione squirmed under his gaze.

"I'll get you in there too! Being a war heroine has to have some advantages," she said firmly and Draco laughed, pulling her to lay next to him on the bed.

"You are awesome," he whispered and bumped his nose against hers. "But I was not kidding about it. I want you to get better no matter what. If we can't end our lives, we have to improve them, but won't always have the same chances and possibilities so I want you to take every single one of them even if I can't."


	19. Chapter 19

**Thank you for the wonderful reviews 3**

 **And thanks to Nantai for betaing**

 **Important: Things went a bit faster than I've expected in this chapter (Draco did what he wanted and I was unable to stop him) and that means that this story will probably end with the next chapter + epilogue. I'll tell you next week. But you can be sure that there are at least 2 updates left. I am sorry but I finish the new chapters right before I post them.**

 **On another note: This fic has reached 50k words, meaning it's double my last multichapter. I am amazed.**

 **But does anybody remember my reviewing challenge (or however you call it)? As we are almost through with this, I want to imform you that I'll choose and contact the winners after posting the last chapter - the epilogue doesn't count as I'll use the notes to announce them. I hope you are fine with that.**

 **As always, your opinions on this would make me happy. Enjoy**

"I ran into your mother at Flourish and Blotts," Hermione said as she put her shopping bags on the table.

"And?" Draco asked.

"She complained that you never write or visit and invited us to dinner again."  
Draco groaned. "Do we have to?"  
Hermione shook her head in amusement. "I am not the person you should ask that," she said and started putting the food into the fridge.

"Can you please tell her that I am busy?" he asked and Hermione rolled her eyes.

"Stop acting like a child," she said. "And your parents are nice. Is there a reason you don't want to go and have dinner with them?"  
Draco bit his lip, contemplating if he should tell Hermione the truth. "There is," he sighed, deciding that lying would be futile. "I suspect that my mother is a legilimens and fear that she finds out about the state of my mind. That's why I try to avoid her as much as possible."

Hermione rose an eyebrow. "Why would you suspect that?"  
"She knows everything!" Draco exclaimed in exasperation and Hermione started laughing.

"A good mother is supposed to know everything," she said and Draco leaned back, crossing his arms over his chest.

"You don't understand. She doesn't just know everything about me, but about my father as well! And she always knew about Tommy's plans even though she didn't attend some of the meetings!"

"Stop exaggerating and write your mother a letter and tell her we will have dinner with her," Hermione said and put the last of her groceries away. "When you are acting like this, you are not cute at all."  
Draco perked up. "You think I am cute?"  
"Sometimes," Hermione said and ruffled his hair in passing, dodging his hands that tried to stop her expertly.

Ooo

Draco looked up from his book when he heard the fireplace roar. Theo's head appeared and Draco tilted his head, looking at him curiously.

"I didn't expect you," he said.

"You have to do something!" Theo said instead of a greeting. "Or I'll be forced to kill McLaggen!"

"What happened?" Draco asked, frowning.

"Hermione has been in a terrible mood all morning because of something he has said to her. It reminds me of that time in fifth or sixth year when she and Weasley weren't speaking to each other. It's frightening and I seriously want it to end."

"Have you tried telling her yourself that she should do something about it?" Draco asked. "Or tell McLaggen to back off."  
"I tried both!" Theo sighed. "I feared for my life when I saw Hermione's look, and McLaggen simply laughed at me, telling me that she's just acting hard to get and will be his soon."  
"And you think I might have better chances?" Draco asked in amusement.

"You don't fear Hermione's wrath," Theo said, and Draco laughed.

Ooo

Hermione stumbled out of the fireplace and let herself fall onto the couch and closed her eyes. It had been an exhausting day.

She opened her eyes again when she felt Draco standing next to her.

"Are you alright?" he asked, concern written all over his face.

Hermione shook her head and Draco gently lifted her feet to sit next to her, before placing them on his knees.

"What happened?" he asked.

"I slapped Cormac," Hermione replied, pinching the bridge of her nose. "I'm sure they'll fire me because of it!"

"How did he react?"

"I don't really know! I ran away and hid in Theo's office the rest of the day," she cried out, covering her face with her hands.

"Calm down, Hermione," Draco reached forward and pulled her hands from her face. "You can't be sure that he is going to report it. Nobody else saw, right?"  
"Why shouldn't he? I assaulted him!"  
"You really don't know how men work, do you?" Draco said, grinning. "I had a crush on you after you slapped me in third year. It was so new to have a girl really defy me instead of swooning."  
"What?" Hermione sat up abruptly and Draco stiffened. He should not have said that, but he had been speaking without thinking.

"So what?" Draco shrugged, trying to play it cool, even though he felt Hermione stare daggers into him.

"That's unexpected," she said flatly.

"Maybe McLaggen will feel the same," Draco muttered, not looking at her.

"Maybe," Hermione said and stood up. "I'll go change now. This skirt is too tight."

Draco watched her leave, fearing that he had fucked up big time, but Hermione returned a few minutes later dressed in an oversized dress and sat down next to him. She turned on the TV and acted as if he hadn't just said anything out of the ordinary.

And maybe he hadn't – he had just told her that he used to have a crush on her, not mentioning the fact that he thought he was in love with her currently.

"Hermione," Draco said softly.

She looked at him, waiting for him to continue.

"What do you want to do if I am right about McLaggen and he just gets worse?"

"I don't know," Hermione averted her gaze. "I really don't know, alright?"  
Draco bit his lip, contemplating how to proceed. He could see now, that Theo had been right and she was in a bad mood, even though she was trying to hide it for him.

"Look, I will do something myself if you don't act soon, because I don't want to see you suffer. And you are clearly suffering," he said. "And Theo is getting on my nerves."

"Theo?" Hermione's brows furrowed and Draco cursed internally. She was going to ignore anything he had said before Theo's name as he had offered her the perfect excuse.

"Yes, Theo. He has approached me on several occasions now, demanding that I talk to you or act as McLaggen is getting on his nerves too. He thinks I am the person you'll most likely listen to."

"How dare he!" she fumed. "He shouldn't be poking his nose into my business!"  
"Considering that McLaggen annoys him too, as I've just said, it's his business too," Draco said calmly.

"I can deal with him myself!" Hermione crossed her arms over her chest.

"Nobody is saying you can't. But you don't. There's a difference between that!"

Hermione bit her lip and looked away and Draco felt anger rise in him.

"Why?" he asked, trying to calm himself down, fearing that he would slip up again if he didn't.

Hermione didn't respond and continued staring at the TV defiantly.

"Hermione," he said. "If you don't talk to me, I can't help you. I thought we were going to talk about stuff."  
She didn't respond and Draco stood up. He wouldn't beg.

He was at the door to the corridor leading to their rooms when Hermione finally spoke up.

"Wait," she said and Draco slowly turned around to see tears streaming down her face. He walked over swiftly and crouched in front of her.

"What's wrong?" he asked softly and Hermione wiped away a tear with the back of her hand.

"I am sorry," she mumbled. "I don't know what's wrong with me these days."  
"Don't apologize, love," Draco cupped her face with one hand, wiping another tear away with his thumb. "Just tell me what bothers you."

"Everything," she said and slid down to sit on the floor next to him and Draco pulled her into a hug. She was shaking.

"Every time anything slightly upsetting happens, my first thought is that I want to die. It got worse with every day of work and now it's enough for me to look at Cormac and the thoughts will appear."  
"But we can't kill ourselves," Draco muttered under his breath and Hermione sobbed, shaking her head.

"We can," she said and Draco froze.

"What are you talking about?" he asked slowly, looking down at the still crying girl.

"We can kill ourselves," she repeated and pulled away and Draco stared at her in shock.

"How?" he whispered.

"When you tried to kill yourself alone you were about to die. You were bleeding out much slower than you would have without the curse, but the wounds weren't sealed. I healed you and gave you that blood replenishing potion," Hermione confessed and Draco sat there, his mouth hanging open.

"Are you telling me you knew this since then?" he asked finally. "But didn't use the knowledge despite the thoughts you have?"

Hermione nodded once, looking anywhere but at him.

"I couldn't do it alone after I've saved you," she whispered. "But I couldn't bring myself to tell you either."

Draco sat there, trying to come to terms with that he had just heard for what felt like eternity. He came to his senses only when Hermione touched his face, calling his name repeatedly.

Draco blinked. He saw her leaning to him, looking at him with concern, her face only inches from his own. Draco didn't know why he did it, but he leaned forward himself and pressed his lips against hers in a chaste kiss, before pulling away.

Hermione froze, her eyes wide, and Draco jumped up, dashing for the door.

Hermione called out for him, but he didn't look back and disapparated as soon as he passed the threshold.

He found himself at the gates of the Manor, staring at them blankly, not sure what he was doing there. It had simply been the first place that popped into his mind when he apparated. He knew it would have been smarter to go to Theo's, Blaise's or Pansy's. The question was to which one. Draco thought that he was lucky that his ancestral home had such a strong presence in his mind despite the bad memories he had of it, as he would have probably splinched himself not knowing where to go otherwise.

He needed to think, fast, and decide what to do. He wanted to talk to somebody, but didn't know to whom as it meant telling them about what he and Hermione had been doing and he couldn't do that. He feared their reaction.

Draco stood there, staring into thin air, when Narcissa walked down the path, a basket full with gardening supplies in her hand.

"Draco?" she called out in surprise. "We weren't expecting you!"

Draco blinked, staring at her in surprise. He had momentarily forgotten where he was. "Mother," he said weakly and Narcissa rushed forward, her basket forgotten on the ground.

"Draco? Are you alright?" she asked when she reached him, eyeing him with concern.

He shook his head and Narcissa took his hand. "Let's go inside," she said gently. "You can tell me what happened there."  
Draco allowed her to lead him inside of the Manor, not really caring, as his thoughts wandered back to Hermione and what she had told him. He could have been dead if she hadn't and he hated her for it. But on the other side he understood.

"Do you want tea?" Narcissa asked and Draco shook his head, sitting down into one of the armchairs in her private drawing room.

"Where is father?" he asked.

"It's his weekly poker night with the others," Narcissa explained and sat down herself. "You don't have to worry about him barging in if that's what you are concerned about."  
Draco shook his head and Narcissa sat there, waiting for him to start talking. She had learned long ago, that forcing him to do it would be no good.

"I kissed Hermione," he said finally and Narcissa rose an eyebrow.

"Did she reject you?" she asked and Draco shook his head again.

"I ran away before she could say anything."  
Narcissa tilted her head and studied her son. "Then why did you run away?"

"I got scared," Draco ran a hand through his hair. "I should not have kissed her and I know it. I've probably ruined everything we have."  
"Why do you think that? Does she not like you back?"  
"Because I can't date her!" Draco exclaimed and Narcissa blinked a few times.

"I hope this isn't about her blood," she said slowly. "Your father and I will accept anybody you love."

Draco groaned and buried his face in his hands. "Of course you wouldn't understand!" he cried out. "Things aren't as simple as they used to be! I should go," he rose but Narcissa caught his arm.

"Explain it to me," she demanded and Draco stared at her for what felt like eternity before sitting down again.

"I am not ready for a relationship," he said carefully. "I wouldn't be able to make her happy."  
"Do you love her?" Narcissa asked, and Draco found himself looking straight into the ice-blue eyes that seemed to see through him.

"Yes."  
"Do you want to be with her? And I don't mean it in a romantic way. Just being around her."

"I do."  
"Then go and talk to her. If she feels the same, be it in the romantic or platonic way, you'll find a way to solve this."

"Mother, do you mind if I spend the night here? I need to think," Draco asked and Narcissa smiled at him.

"Of course. But don't put it off for too long."

ooo

Hermione in the meanwhile was pacing in their living room, pulling at her hair. Her head was full of questions, making it ache.

"What the hell was that about?" she whispered for the umpteenth time as she touched her lips, thinking back to the kiss.

She pulled her hand away quickly, chastising herself for paying it so much attention when there were more urgent issues at hand, such as where Draco was.

She had finally told him about a way to bypass the curse and he ran off. If he hadn't kissed her before it, she would be seriously worried about him now. Like this, she was mostly utterly confused and had no idea where to look for him.  
While he had some friends, she was the one closest to him. But as he wasn't talking to her right now, it was quite possible that he went to one of them.

After a short moment of contemplation, Hermione decided to go to Theo's at first, mostly because he was the one she was most comfortable with and actually knew where he lived as he had told her in the case of some work emergency. Hermione doubted Pansy would currently be at her office and she had outright no idea where Blaise lived or spend his time.

She flooed to Theo's and found him on his couch, reading a book.

He looked at her and frowned.

"Hermione?" he put his book aside and stood up. "What are you doing here?"

Hermione blushed, not knowing what to say. She had hoped Draco would be here, but now that he wasn't, she was at a loss of words.

"Where's Draco?" Theo looked at the fireplace. "Is he coming too?"

"I don't know," she said. "I hoped he would be here."  
"What happened?" he asked in concern.

Hermione hesitated for a moment as she was talking to her boss, but reminded herself that she couldn't do more damage that she had already done with the drinking game at the party. "He kissed me and ran away," she said finally.

Theo started laughing and Hermione looked at him in confusion.

"Why are you laughing?" she asked, shifting from one foot to another uncomfortably.

Theo took a few breaths to calm down and motioned to Hermione to sit down.

"Judging by your confusion, I assume you have forgotten what happened after the party and he hasn't told you," he said and Hermione's brows furrowed.

"What are you talking about?"

"You kissed him," Theo said and Hermione gaped.

"I did what?" she cried out and hid her face in her hands. "Oh my god! I really don't remember! What did he do?"  
Theo chuckled. "He ran out of your room in panic and told me that he didn't know what to do or feel. It seems he finally figured it out, just to chicken out again. But now, you are confused as well. You are going to make an amazing couple."

Hermione peaked at him from between her fingers. "That's not funny!"  
"Oh it is," Theo smirked. "And I am going to tell you the same thing I told him. Figure out what you are feeling, Granger. He'll come back soon, but you should know what you feel and want then."


	20. Chapter 20

**As I've already announced, this is the last chapter. Next week only the epilogue will follow.**

 **But don't be sad! I'm already working on two other Dramione stories. For the first one, there will be a teaser next week and the second is a collab with my beta Nantai (who betaed this chapter too. thanks)**

 **I want to thank you for all the wonderful reviews and comments. As always, I want to encourage you to tell me your opinion, especially as this is the ending of a long story.**

Draco walked into Fawley & Co., the wizarding law firm where Hermione was working, dressed in fine robes, his head held high and the engagement ring in his pocket just in case he had to use the stupid plan he had jokingly suggested before.

As a Malfoy, he knew very well how important appearances were and as his goal was to finally clear everything up with Hermione and make McLaggen understand that he never stood a chance, he needed to look his best. And he did.

Draco approached the counter and the receptionist, some younger girl, looked up. Her mouth fell open when she saw who was standing in front of her, a smirk on his face. He truly looked his best.

"Good morning," Draco drawled with amusement. "I am here to see Miss Granger."  
The girl blinked a few times before shifting through the papers in front of her. "Do you have an appointment?" she asked, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear.

"I don't. But I don't need one. I came to bring her something she forgot at home. You know, we live together," Draco said with a wink and the receptionist's cheeks turned a crimson red. "So I would really appreciate if you told me where to find her. It won't take long. Besides, I am good friends with Mister Nott so everything should be fine."

"Second floor, third corridor, second door on the left," the receptionist replied and Draco smirked again.

"Thank you," he said and left.

He found Theo's office without trouble and knocked.

"Come in," Theo called and Draco opened the door. He scanned the room quickly, but Theo was the only person present and Draco's face fell.

"Finally got your shit together?" Theo asked, earning himself a glare.

"Where can I find her?"

"The break room. She's getting some tea if I am not mistaken."

Draco turned to leave, when Theo called his name.

He glanced at his friend and Theo smirked. "Good luck," he said and Draco grimaced.

"I'll need it."

Draco ran into Hermione on the corner to the neighbouring corridor quite literally. She staggered a few steps backwards but Draco caught her, pulling her close.

"Hey," he whispered into her ear. "Can we talk?"  
Instead of replying, Hermione pushed him away and looked him up and down.

"Really?" she asked with a glare. "What the fuck?"  
Draco ran a hand through his hair. "Look, I know that I fucked up yesterday. But I can't make it right if we don't talk."  
"That doesn't explain why you are here dressed like that," Hermione crossed her arms over her chest. "I was worried, Draco! But apparently, you were so good that you forgot to tell me that you are alive!" she hissed.

"I was at the Manor," Draco returned her glare. "It happens that I didn't have any other clothes there. I wanted to come home before you left for work, but my parents forced me to stay for breakfast. And could we talk somewhere more private? I am sure you don't want the whole firm to know everything about your private life."

"But the firm would love to know," a drawl came from the right and they both turned to look at the person standing in the now open door to an office right next to them.

"Cormac," Hermione sighed in exasperation. "Could you please leave us alone?"  
"But why should I, darling? I want to know everything about you."

Draco clenched his fists, his knuckles turning white. In his distress about his actions from the previous evening and the possible results, he hadn't thought about what he would do if he ran into Cormac. Of course, he had brought the ring, but proposing in the middle of a fight would be truly idiotic even though it wasn't real.

"I don't want you to know everything about me," Hermione said flatly. "Draco, follow me."

She turned on her heel with the intention to walk away, but Cormac caught her arm. "You can talk in my office. I don't want you to be alone with him," he looked pointedly at Draco.

"Too bad," Hermione said, yanking her arm free from him. "We live together."

Cormac frowned. "What? You didn't tell me! Has he imperiused you? Or is he blackmailing you? Or worse?"

"No," Hermione glared at Cormac. "He has not done such a thing."

Draco felt his fingernails dig even deeper into his skin, drawing blood, but his face didn't show any of his anger. It wasn't the first time after the war that somebody has accused him of something he didn't do and he had learned early on, that stoicism was the best way to deal with such accusations. Anger and rash actions would only make them worse.

"Can we leave now?" he pressed between his teeth, looking at Hermione.

She nodded and turned to leave again, but Cormac caught her around her waist this time in an attempt to drag her into his office and away from Draco.

Hermione yelped in surprise and Draco moved forward in an instant, punching Cormac straight into his face to make him let her go even before he had her pulled against him fully.

Draco even managed to catch Hermione before she fell, pulling her away from the office and Cormac.

"Are you alright?" he asked in concern, looking down at her.

"Of course," she replied. "But you know, I could have done that myself. You simply were quicker."  
"Seeker reflexes," Draco grinned. "And it's better that I've done it, as he could have make you lose your job if you've had punched him."  
"It would have been self-defence," Hermione said and Draco sighed.

"This seriously didn't go as I've planned it," he said, looking at the unconscious Cormac. "But at least he is still breathing."

Hermione didn't say anything and closed the door to Cormac's office instead, before taking Draco's hand and leading him back to Theo's office.

"What happened?" Theo asked when he saw the looks on their faces.

"I knocked out McLaggen," Draco said and Theo rose an eyebrow.

"He tried to protect me from Draco," Hermione explained with annoyance. "He pulled me into his office and Draco punched him."

Theo snorted, earning himself a glare from Draco.

"What?" he asked. "It is funny, Malfoy."  
Hermione sighed. "It's not. You should leave," she said, turning to Draco. "I'll take care of everything."

"But-," Draco tried to protest.

"We are going to talk when I get home."

ooo

Draco was pacing in the living room when Hermione finally stepped out of the fireplace.

"Hi," she said and let herself fall on the couch.

"Everything alright? How did it go?" Draco asked, sitting down next to her.

"As expected, Cormac reported that you've punched him and the whole thing escalated a bit. Despite Theo and me saying that it was his fault and the accusations were lacking any foundation, they tested me for imperius. Of course, they didn't find anything and don't know how to proceed now. You assaulted Cormac, to protect me, while Cormac was thinking he was protecting me. It's quite a pat situation and hopefully it will end with everyone ignoring the incident."

Draco pinched the base of his nose. "It wouldn't have happened if he had listened to you."

"He has yet to learn that I am always right," Hermione mumbled and Draco smiled.

"He is a fool. It should be common knowledge that you are always right."  
Hermione smiled and shook her head softly before turning to look at him, her expression changing to serious in a matter of seconds. "But we should talk about something else now."

Draco nodded, but didn't say anything and Hermione rose an eyebrow.

"Well?" she asked after a while and Draco felt blood rush to his cheeks.

"I am sorry that I ran away yesterday and didn't tell you where I was or what I was doing," he said, not looking at her, his fingers fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. "I apparated to the Manor, as I've said already, and my mother caught me there before I could do anything."  
"It's fine. That part at least. You have quite a few other things to explain," Hermione said, pulling a pillow close as she moved to sit cross-legged on the sofa, facing Draco, so she could watch him properly.

Draco swallowed. "I know I fucked up," he whispered and Hermione frowned.  
"Why do you think that?" she asked.

Draco let out a low laugh. "Really? Where should I start?" he said, finally turning to look at her. "I kissed you out of nowhere after you've told me that we can kill ourselves while apart and left. Have you considered how irresponsible and incredibly stupid that was from me? I am in love with you, Hermione, but I ran away, leaving you with both the means and quite a few reasons to kill yourself because I was scared!"  
Hermione blinked. She had trouble processing what she had heard. Sure, she had suspected that Draco had feelings for her after the kiss and the talk with Theo, but hearing it from Draco was an entirely different matter. She knew for sure now.

"Hermione?" Draco touched her arm gently, as if scared that she would break if he used too much force. "Are you alright?" he whispered and Hermione nodded.

"Look, I am so sorry," he continued, fear in his eyes. "It was so stupid from me, risking our friendship like this-"  
"I kissed you first, didn't I?" she interrupted him and Draco's mouth fell shut.

"How do you know about that? I though you've forgotten..."  
"Theo told me," Hermione said, looking away. "I went to his place after you left in hopes of finding you."  
Draco bit his lip. "What now?" he asked when he couldn't bear the tension anymore.

"I don't know," Hermione replied. "I really don't know."  
Draco sank back into the couch. "Should we proceed like before? Do you think you can do that?" he asked hopefully.

"Can you?" Hermione glanced at him out of the corner of her eye.

Draco chuckled darkly. "I probably could," he replied. "But am not sure if I want to."

"Me neither," Hermione whispered and Draco's head snapped around to look at her.

"I like you too, Draco. I think I might even love you," she added uncertainly, her cheeks red as a tomato.

Draco was at a loss of words. He had anticipated quite a few things, but now, that he had his answer, or at least a part of it, his head went blank.

"Are you sure?" he asked and Hermione frowned.

"Excuse me? Is this a joke, Draco?"  
He ran a hand over his face. "Hell, no. But I need to know that you are sure. I mean, this whole situation is a bad joke and you have no actual reason to like me. I mean, I bullied you for years, our main connection is the fact that we tried to kill ourselves together on several occasions and… How should I put it? I don't want, that you feel obliged to say that, because you fear I might go ahead and kill myself if you don't. I won't, promise. I just want you to be honest with me."  
"Is that what you think of me?" Hermione asked in a gravelly voice.

"That you are damn noble? Yes."

Hermione snorted. "I thought you've learned better by this point. And I was honest, Draco. I like you."

"But are you ready to be in a relationship?" he cut in. "Do you think the two of us are ready? After, or despite everything?"  
Hermione fell silent, thinking about the question carefully. "No," she said finally. "We are not."

Draco nodded, staring off into the space. "I feel the same. We are too broken and I feel like we would only be putting chains on us if we pretended that we are not."

"But what does it mean for us?" Hermione asked. "What are you getting at, Draco?"  
"Seriously? I don't know. I have this talk I had with my mother yesterday on my mind. I told her that we weren't ready for a relationship, but that I loved you and wanted to be around you. I've been asking myself if that could be enough and I am farther away from the answer than I have been before."  
Hermione nodded in understanding. She had has similar thoughts since her talk with Theo. She loved being around Draco and spending time with him and she knew that they weren't acting like normal friends would. Her best friends were boys and it was quite different from her relationship with Draco.

"We should simply go with it," she said. "Stay together, around each other, and see where it leads us. Not force anything, just let ourselves go with the flow."

Draco looked at her, studying her for a while, before a smile appeared on his face. "Agreed."  
He leaned forward to kiss her, but Hermione put a hand in front on his lips.

"We need to establish a few rules first."  
"Like?"

"We stop trying to kill ourselves for good and we get help," she said.

"We talk about our problems and don't lie. That includes that idiot McLaggen. Theo will tell me anyway," Draco winked at her and Hermione rolled her eyes.

"Fine. Anything else?" she asked and a mischievous smile spread over his face.

"Oh yes. We share a bed and I am allowed to kiss you senseless."  
Hermione laughed and Draco cupped her face, before pressing his lips against hers and she swung her arms around his neck, pulling him closer, still smiling into the kiss.


	21. Chapter 21

**And finally, the long awaited Epilogue. It feels so weird that this story is finished, but kind of good as well.**

 **I want to thank you all for the support and comments/reviews.**

 **On this occassion, I want to annouce the winners of the review-competition:**

 **JayBat and purplehedgehog13 with 15 reviews each! I'll send you a PM so please check your inbox in a few days**

 **And a lot of thanks to my beta Nantai!**

 **I have promised you a new Dramione too, so here's the info:**

 **The first story is called Roman Revolution and I've posted the teaser and the summary on my tumblr-fanfic profile viv-heart tumblr Check it out! The first chapter will be posted next Monday!**

 **The second one coming soon is going to be a collab with my beta called Queens we post on an extra account called Noichride on here. I am not sure yet about ao3, but we have an tumblr for it too: noichrideuniverse tumblr but I'll reblog any info on my blog too.**

Epilogue

 _Christmas, 2 years later_

Draco stepped out of the shower and dried himself, before walking back into their bedroom to get dressed. He glanced at the clock on his bedside table when he saw that Hermione hadn't left the bed yet and sighed, before walking over and sitting down next to her. They had spent most of the day in bed and would be late if they didn't get up now.

"What's wrong, love?" he asked, before leaning down to kiss her forehead.

"It's one of those days," Hermione replied, taking his hand.

He gave her a sad smile and squeezed her hand. "You mean Christmas?"  
"I know that it's stupid-"

"It's fine," Draco interrupted her. "You have every right to feel this way."

"I don't. After all, your parents and our friends are doing their best to make me forget that my parents aren't around and I feel bad because it's in vain."  
"Get up," Draco said and stood up, pulling her with him. "I am not going to let you sulk in bed. The therapist said-"  
"I know what the therapist said," Hermione muttered. "Doesn't make it any easier!"  
Draco laughed. "I know. But just think about our plan. You want to be there to see the faces, don't you?"  
Hermione rolled her eyes. "I do."  
"Then hurry up and go shower or we'll be late and we will have to wait an eternity before it happens!"  
Hermione grimaced but walked into the bathroom to shower. Draco had learned a long time ago how to get her moving on her bad days, the same way she had learned to do the same for him. Their therapists were rather happy about their progress, even though it was obvious that the both of them still had a long way in front of them.

When Hermione emerged from the bathroom, Draco was already assembling all the boxes and bags they had to take with them on their bed.

"They have multiplied," Hermione said with a frown. "What did you do?"  
"Nothing," Draco didn't turn around and continued sorting through the mass of presents. Hermione groaned, aware that her boyfriend was deliberately hiding his face from her, because he knew she could see that he was lying.

"I hope they are all for the children," she said in defeat and pulled out a dress from her wardrobe.

"Maybe," Draco replied and Hermione sighed.

"Seriously. If there is another set of dungbombs for Ron, I'll have your head for it. You know how bad it escalated last year."  
"There are none, promise," Draco finally turned around, having managed to put everything in bags. "Most of the stuff is for Teddy."  
Hermione's frown deepened but she didn't say anything, and sat down to do her make-up. Draco moved to stand behind her and proceeded to take care of her hair. He came to greatly enjoy it as it calmed him down.

When they finished and Hermione looked like an actual living human being again, they put on their cloaks and flooed to Malfoy Manor, the first stop on their list.

They found Lucius and Narcissa in a drawing room excessively decorated in the spirit of Christmas together with Andromeda and Teddy.

"Sorry that we are late," Draco said as he kissed his mother's cheek. They quickly exchanged their greetings before moving to the dining room as Teddy was already squeaking about being hungry. The air filled with chit-chat and laughter and Draco saw Hermione relax.

He was very glad that his family got back together and that Hermione fit in so well. While it was beyond his power to give her her parents back, he had managed to give her a new family. The best thing was, that they needed her as much as she needed them.

When they finished eating, Draco had serious trouble hiding his smile, which might spoil the surprise they had prepared together.

They moved back to the drawing room, where the elves had placed the presents under the Christmas tree during their meal.

It was such a huge pile, even Draco was surprised that it fit.

"I hope it's not all for my grandson," Andromeda whispered into his ear and a sheepish grin appeared on Draco's face. He knew he went overboard on Teddy's last birthday, and it appeared that Andromeda wasn't going to forget that anytime soon.

"Don't worry. It won't take up half of your house this time," he whispered back, as he watched Hermione help Teddy distribute the presents. She read the names and the boy would bring them to the person in question.

All the piles were growing steadily and Draco began to feel suspicious. He had planned a lot for his parents, Andromeda and Teddy, but for some reason Hermione and he got approximately the same amount of presents. It seemed he wasn't the only one who went overboard this year.

They started unpacking the presents, finding books, jewellery and of course toys for Teddy, until Lucius opened one of the bigger boxes and started laughing manically.

All heads turned to him and Teddy ran over to peek into the box.

Lucius showed him, before taking the contents of the box out to show the others. It was a perfect replica of a Bat-suit.

Narcissa rose an eyebrow and Hermione started giggling. "We put an undetectable extension charm on the box," she explained.

"Put it on," Andromeda said to Lucius, who rolled his eyes.

"Last year the Zorro mask, now this," he muttered but started looking for the opening mechanism of the suit. "I fear for next year."  
Draco smirked with self-satisfaction when his father left the room to get dressed.

The next one to show a sign of surprise was Teddy, who squeaked in delight when he saw his present. Andromeda shot Draco a threatening glare before bowing over to see what her grandson found.

"You can't be serious," she muttered when she pulled out a Robin costume from Teddy's box. "You have planned this for years, haven't you? Last year the animated series, now this."

"Dress up!" Teddy demanded and Hermione moved to help him and Andromeda, while hiding a grin on her own.

"Please tell me you haven't gotten me one of those," Narcissa said when she reached her own big box, just as Lucius returned and Draco erupted in laughter.

"I would never," he managed to say, but his mother shot him an unimpressed look before opening the box with a sight.

Just as she expected, she found a suit. "You know, I have no idea about the characters, right?"

"I am sure father and Teddy will be more than willing to explain," Draco replied.

In the meantime, Andromeda and Hermione finally managed to get Teddy dressed and he ran to Lucius, doing a poor impression of the batman theme.

Andromeda quickly scanned her own presents and groaned when she found a box in a similar size to the others containing the costumes. She took one of the figurines Teddy got, and threw it at Draco when the small boy wasn't looking. Draco caught it, still laughing and Hermione's facade cracked finally and she joined him.

"Put it on," Lucius said, Teddy on his arms, when he peeked into Narcissa's box, before walking to Andromeda. "I am sure Teddy will love it."  
"Be prepared for revenge," Narcissa said flatly, before standing up and walking out to change together with her sister.

"I would be scared now," Lucius said. "They'll get you something even weirder than this next year."

"I doubt they'll manage to weird us out without buying anything improper," Draco shrugged.

"Baby-clothes aren't improper," Lucius replied calmly and Hermione groaned.  
"Molly is already asking when we are planning to get children and you've been so nice and respectful about this, I really don't want that to change," she said.

Lucius chuckled. "We are both of the opinion, that you should take your time. Having grandchildren on our own would only make us feel old and nobody wants that."  
"Are you saying I am old?" Andromeda chose exactly that moment to walk in and they all turned to look at her.

"Not in that outfit," Lucius said, eyeing her Catwoman costume and Andromeda sighed.

"At least Cissy's isn't any better," she said and moved to let everyone see Narcissa's impression of Batgirl.

"Seriously, was this necessary?" Narcissa asked, looking at Draco, who did his best impression of looking innocent.

"It was Hermione's idea," he said.

"Oh, no! The Batsuit was my idea! You decided that we should get one for everyone!" she protested.

"But look how happy Teddy is!" Draco pointed at the boy, who was still looking at his grandmother and her sister and brother-in-law in awe. "He really likes this idea!"

Andromeda ran a hand over her face. "How about we make a deal? If you ever have such a great idea again, buy the stuff for Lucius and Teddy, but not for us."  
"But why, Andy?" Narcissa asked sweetly. "Those will make great costumes for our next Halloween party. But Draco and Hermione will have to get some too to make it obvious that they are part of the family."

Draco rolled his eyes and stood up. "I think we have to get going now or Molly will have our heads," he said and Hermione stood up as well.

"Thank you for the meal," she said. "I hope you'll enjoy your suits."

They said their goodbyes and flooed to the Burrow, which was bustling with life when they arrived.

"Hey sweetheart," Hermione said with a smile and picked up little Victoire who ran to her as soon as they exited the fireplace.

They said their hellos and Draco charmed the presents they brought with them to fly to the receiver. They got their obligatory Weasley sweater, which Hermione forced Draco to wear, and sat down on the couch.

"How did it go with the suits?" George asked and Draco told him and Harry the story while Hermione used the time to catch up with Ginny.

"Lavender is pregnant," Ginny said. "They've announced it earlier. Ron initially wanted to wait for you, but Lavender was tired and they left some time ago. They said they were sorry that they didn't see you."  
"Sure," Pansy said from behind them and Hermione turned to look at her. "We all know that Lavender and Hermione here are such good friends that of course Lav-Lav wouldn't want to miss her."  
"Oh, come on," Hermione said. "We are getting along pretty well compared to school! And besides, I am sure Lavender wanted to leave early because she couldn't drink any of the good stuff Bill and Charlie organized. We all know she loves the eggnog!"  
Ginny laughed. "You are getting along with a lot of people way better than at school," she said, looking meaningfully at Draco. "By the way, you still haven' told us the whole story about how you met and how you started dating!"  
"It's our secret," Hermione grinned at her. "Besides, you should be questioning Pansy about the same thing, shouldn't you?"  
"That's the plan for our little party! We all know it's way easier to get her talking when she is drunk, isn't it, Pans? Especially if Blaise and Theo come up with yet another drinking game!"

Pansy winked at her and Hermione snorted. "Too bad Pansy always tells you something entirely different than what you asked when she is drunk."  
"Oh, Hermione. We both know that Ginny here wants to hear about Percy's and my sex life and is only too shy to ask! That's why I am telling her all those things!"  
At that, the tree of them erupted in laughter, earning themselves more than a few confused looks.

"If they are already like this, I fear for what might happen later," Draco said drily and Harry nodded in agreement.

"The party will certainly be interesting."

 **Again, a lot of thanks for sticking with me till the end.**

 **I want to ask you a last time for your opinion on this piece, no matter if you read it shortly after posting or if the story has been completed for years. Your words matter to me and show me what to improve.**

 **Thank you and I hope to see you soon with one of the other stories.**

 **-viv**


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